Dark Horse

 

I remember a time when my sense of self

Was forcefully replaced by uncertainty

As if a blade had cut through my soul

 

The insincerity of his touch and words

Insisting we should be friends

Was a humiliating assault on my emotions

 

…Though I too pronounced these words

 

He was charming

But I wasn’t interested

All his actions seemed ambiguous

And as desperate as his departure

 

How could I care for someone so stoic that

His only display of affection was through lust

 

The regrets at that time

But I didn’t ask for much

 

The yearning sensation proved to be a

Distraction as stimulating and beautiful

As the nothingness ahead

 

I was longing for an apology

That emotional unrest was only the shadow

Of my bitterness

It wasn’t meant to be

 

The signs were sightless

Deceived by loneliness

And consequently I cried the tears I shed

But he would never know

 

In the end it was gratifying to see that he wasn’t just

An obsession

It became a momentary infatuation to strengthen

My flaws

 

But it hurt so much when my hopes became

Faint

And I couldn’t cheer for my own heart

 

 

The stride of the deserted

When he no longer replied

 

My mind In need of eternal anesthesia

As I found refugee in my own thoughts

Infallible as never before

Evidence of my inner grasp

 

But my pain was inevitable

I had placed my heart in his hands

 

The battle for my soul was complete

I was clear minded

As I laughed at how pathetically

He broke my heart…

 

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

They have other chemicals for that you know right? They can break about any habit, even the ones with a life of their own, before you know it you wont have a soul to cut through.
Anyhow, nice write.. You haven't been around for a while have you? For the life of me trying to place you is gone.
Good luck with the heart ache or with the renewed writing adventures that have you here right now.

[Brian Custer]

😢 beautifully sad and understood. So commonly displaced and taken.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

what a sad poem with such a great liquid feeling

[Yereziah]

thank you all for your responses and feedback I really appreciate, its been a while since Ive been on here but I do hope to keep in touch with all of you once again...

[Everett DeValle]

This is a really deep poem, I can relate..we all get played the fool some time in our life....I know, its been a long time, since I have been away...just busy with life...I just had the urge to read some good poems and your writings always strike a chord like walking a familiar street of childhood memories. Kudos.

[THE LOST ROSE]

What a wonderful jpurney the readers ventured on in this poem. This is emotional and as a reader I feel all the emotions that exist in the poem; pain, lonliness, deception, etc. This was a wonderful write. Thanks for the read request. This poem gets me through the night tonight.

[Pax Analog]

This dark horse is an ambiguity of desire, a strange race, with intonations of ancient dreams, wherein the participants hesitate, momentarily amnesiac, as to what they are doing, and why.

You observe "I"'s feeling, Janus-faced, now feeling the ache, not of love lost, but of its agent never really being there in the first place, then disbelieving the lie none of us is immune to, when doubly, the would-be object of love-desire disappoints, and our own skepticism leads us to wonder what we ever expected from anyone -- or ourselves.

The dark horse is the elusive truth of Heart, whether it will arise in the shining face of the Other, whether our own will arise in the face of mystery and ambiguity.

The voice in this poem is one of pain, bitterness, disbelief, sardonic bemusement.

The dark horse is felt meaning itself, galloping breathless and ignored, out of the shadows.