Page of my life

So finally am here with my new job. The place is awesome.The whole city wakes up at evening 6. The lights, the malls; every corner has a shopping mall. Well…Am not writing to explain the beauty of B’lore . Surely not.. It’s raining cats and dogs here. I can hear the pitter patter on the window pane. I can smell the fresh scent of the soil after the first shower. I can see the water playing their game of hide n seek on the panes and the darkness surrounding me. My heart aches for her but… sigh.

I can’t take my mind off her. Everything reminds about her. The rain, she loved rain. She loved the smell of the soil. I miss her so much. I can still smell her scent all over my tee. My hands feel empty without hers. This silence is killing me. I loved her so much yet I missed her like forever. Hmmm…My mob is seen nowhere. It’s been silent for a long time. The only gal who kept disturbing me with her texts. Sigh!! They have stopped. There are no texts from her. Complete silence, deafening silence. When she texted me every single minute I didn’t reply her. Now when she isn’t texting at all, I wait for her to text. Wait for my mob to go off… jumping from my place to check every time it goes off but unfortunately it’s not her.

It’s been exactly six months that we broke up for the umpteenth time and the longest period. All other break ups ended in just few days or a month maximum but this time it just didn’t. She didn’t ask me anything , not a word. She had kept mum all along when I talked that night. She didn’t look up at me. All the while her eyes were down but when she looked up I saw her moist eyes. I felt as if my heart would explode. I so much wanted to take her in my arms and tell her I love you and I never wanna leave you but I held back. I hugged one last time she just stood still in my arms, resting her head on my chest. Sigh…

I would never be loved by anyone like the way she did and yet I have hurt her so much. Not a word of anger, not a single tear just nothing..she forgave me for everything. Actions speaks more than words… she has gone every extent to prove it… the first time I kissed her.. I saw it in her eyes, the love for me, the trust but me?? Once when I said her that I have never shown my love or her; she just totally changed it by saying words do speak volumes and that she knows I love her. I understand now how much hurt or pain it would have taken her to tell me that just to console me.

These days she doesn’t text me much. I don’t know the reason and I have never asked because even I don’t text her. Her texts just show nothing. We are acting worse than “friends”. She said it’s better to act as strangers then friends. Sometimes she acts as if she doesn’t care but sometimes she acts she does and that’s the fact. She still cares. I miss her so much.. I wanna take her into my arms, smell her scent,tickle her till she fights and kiss her. I wanna tell her about my day at office about my roommates just about everything…But.. maybe this is what we call fate! Big fat fate has lost me my love or is it my fault?

Darling, if ever you read this just know one thing I loved you and I still love you every single minute of my life . Maybe it’s too late but I really miss you
If I could to meet you again I will not leave your hand at all and flowers field that tells us at the end of the spring with the beauty space, back to life inside me and still delights I heard, time after time returning miracle my and you in the city of blowing flowers