One of my spoken word pieces..only performed this one once though. Probably my most emotional piece. Just to note that the structure, as in the lines and the way they flow, it's written the way I would perform it, as I mentioned, it's a spoken word. So I didn't think that it wasn't well laid out or anything, because that's how it was intended :)
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The emotion in this piece literally gave me goosebumps. Incredible written. Loved reading this poem. Those who do not make the effort to be apart of your life are not worth the sorrow. And even though I believe that to be true I know it must be tougher when that person is inherently supposed to be there for you. I hope writing that relieved some stress for you. Thank you for sharing!
This stings to the core - you manage to get the reader on the protagonist's side with unquestionable ease. This is amazing because we can feel as one, stumble and even long as one. Powerful thing you've strung up here!
Glad I stopped by.
~M.Babu~
This is truly amazing. The way your emotions were painted on the page made that a piece to remember. Keep writing thing like this. I hope this writing helped you.
The way you have written it is beautiful. Its an emotional and deep poem. Though I have never gone through a similar situation, I could clearly understand your emotions.
This is so moving, a lovely expression of the soul. I am so glad I got the opportunity to read this. This is a baring of the inner child and that is something a lot of people find hard to share. Beautiful piece of work. I read aloud and I think you are right it adds something to it.
This is a heart wrenching piece. The flow and rythm is just right as a spoken piece. Excellent read,
very emotional yet shows strength especially the last line. I could see why you would only perform this once. It must have been amazing, I'll bet there was'nt a dry eye to be found after you were done.
Know this... You are not alone,
There are many families with hearts of stone...
Thank you for sharing
bill
I'm curious, when you read this do you read it as written? I ask because as you have it the first word is a sentence unto its self and the next sentence is not an extension of it, so I am not sure how you mean it to be read. An example: See. All the people who knew you before versus See all the people who knew you before. Your sentence structure takes much of the flow away as you have it posted, which is sad because this poem is so powerful and emotionally moving it is worthy of publishing. I give it four out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Actually, this is a spoken word poem and I have performed it before. But, it is written exactly as I.. read moreActually, this is a spoken word poem and I have performed it before. But, it is written exactly as I would express it with voice. Remember I have to put the attitude and emotion into it when I'm saying it. so the first word 'See' is actually what people would say like 'You see'. So it's written how it's supposed to be said...sooo yeah, structure is it's expression. And most of my poems are this way (written how I would perform it with voice). Thanks so much for reading
8 Years Ago
Thank you that clears that up, I myself often start with SEE or WELL myself.
So if someone e.. read moreThank you that clears that up, I myself often start with SEE or WELL myself.
So if someone else was to read your spoken word poetry they wouldn't be able to because they wouldn't know the attitude or emotion to read into it?
8 Years Ago
Well it's kinda like, the emotion flows into it naturally when I read it, as I have experienced it y.. read moreWell it's kinda like, the emotion flows into it naturally when I read it, as I have experienced it you know..? It's like that
I was lucky enough to spend time hanging around some LA coffee shops in the 60's and sadly some of t.. read moreI was lucky enough to spend time hanging around some LA coffee shops in the 60's and sadly some of the greatest poetry I ever heard was off the cuff. Meaning it wasn't written down and thus forgotten over time, then there was the Jim Morrison's in the crowd taking notes saving what they could. If you can't write your emotion into your poetry then it to will be lost with time is all I am trying to say.
8 Years Ago
You have no idea how much it really has.
8 Years Ago
it's something that's scarred on your heart, therefore it could never be lost. I've written tons of .. read moreit's something that's scarred on your heart, therefore it could never be lost. I've written tons of poems on this theme because, the emotion is never lost
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