Chapter 1- Birthday Surprises

*Shailene's POV*

I was about to skip down the stairway when I decided that I should just check the mirror one last time. Making sure my fitted purple sundress was all okay, I trod down and felt my freshly done curls bounce as I sent a silent feel of appreciation to my best friend, Mel, for loaning me her iron. 
My boyfriend, Andrew, awaited my presence in his white s60 Volvo, outside of my house. As I was about to open the door, I couldn't help but notice the key to my father's XLT Ford Ranger, hanging on the wall. He probably walked to work or was probably too intoxicated to drive, but I was wrong.

'Surprise!' Someone behind me covered my eyes. From the usual clove scent, I knew it was my father. 
Usually, he was never home, always at work or out with his friends at games or bars. At this point, I thought that he had a better social life than myself. I was not troubled by his frequent absence, I still loved him and he provides me with everything I need. He thinks that I am capable of looking after myself. I am proud of him, though, for not turning out to be as bad as anyone else would have thought, after my mother had gone to live with her new family.

I took his hands off my face and spun around, secretly hoping he didn't smudge my eyeliner. 
'Daddy, you're home.' I stated the obvious, hiding my astonishment.
'Yeah Shay, I know that I don't spend time with you, and my friends also spend time with their children and I know that I don't. So we could try it. What better day is there to bond than your birthday?'

Any other day besides today I thought.

He's not drunk yet but I get the tinge of alcohol off his breath.

I pictured how Andrew must be right now, running his fingers through his short, jet black hair, drumming his hand on the steering wheel...he is short tempered and impatient, but he's different with me. He can wait a while.

My father interrupted my thoughts. 'So, are you going to stay? Where were you going anyway? There's a bottle of Vodka on the table. We could play cards, I'm sure it would be a lot more fun.'
I was exasperated. 'Excuse me? I am not going to abandon my plans to stay home, drink Vodka and play drunk games with you.' 
'I am your father and you do as I say!' He shouted.

Here we go.

'No, you are my father but yet you drink all the time and only think that you should spend time with your child when your friends tell you.' I kept my tone calm.
'Stubborn and selfish just like your damn mother!' What a wonderful time to play with my emotions. I was not selfish, I just had a feeling that his intentions were good but the idea was bad. I didn't even know how to play cards.

'I'm so done here.' I turned towards the door again and before I could turn the doorknob, something came whizzing across the living room. It was the glass vase which used to sit on the dining table. It was now scattered across the living room floor. 
I heard Andrew's car door slam and I turned around to see if I had to dodge anything else.

'Are you psychotic!?!' I shouted as I stepped away from the glass and the door slowly, because I knew Andrew was coming in. 
Dad's expression was cold, expressionless. 'Sharon, just get out of my house now.'

Sharon? Why had he addressed me by my mother's name?

Reviews

[J.A. Darling]

I have one big suggestion to make. I'm guessing that this book is going to have multiple POV Characters. Which isn't a bad thing at all in fact so does the novel I'm currently working on. My suggestion though is, to write this in 3rd person (preferably 3rd person limited and not omniscient) but I would definitely advise against writing a book like this in 1st person. I tried that at first with mine and it is hella confusing. Also, that way you won't have to specify at the beginning who's POV the chapter is in you can just let the narration make that part obvious. Or do what I and a lot of other writers have done and just name each chapter after character who's POV it's in.

Also, and this is just a personal artistic choice, but I would suggest putting the character's thoughts in italics. For instance (Any other day besides today) and (Here we go) could be in italics. The part about Andrew however, doesn't need to be in italics it can just be a regular part of the narration.

Aside from that I see a lot of potential with this and I hope you continue with it.

[Yashoda]

Hellooo
First of all, thank you very much for your suggestions and pointed out errors (the thoughts for italics)

I actually have already finished the entire book but just have not posted it as yet, and the entire thing is in first person with different points of view. However, I would have contemplated the third person, but I don't have time as school is in the way for a while. I'm trying to balance this passion of mine together with academics.

Thanks so much :)

[Jessi]

You are a very good writer. I liked this chapter and intend on reading the rest. So far, so good. Keep it up.

[Jacob Clifford]

I'm glad to see this again. I had forgotten about this novel.

Much of what I would suggest has already been said by J.A. Darling. I like how you make an effort to incorporate specific details. I would say that it could do with a bit more emotion. I would say that you could expand a bit more on small events.

The father character clearly has issues. There is family backstory. I'm seeing a lot of things with potential already. Good luck!

[TheBubbleManiac]

Truly amazing. This captured my attention very well and it makes me want to read more!