This is a playful poem with a childlike tone. I like the way you use many bright & dynamic words -- giggle, flutter, whisper, sparkle – these words bring a poem alive with imagination & also these words sound fun when reading them. This is what “SHOW” instead of tell is about . . . the words you choose SHOW the excitement you want to convey. Instead of saying: “I am excited” . . . you say: “I giggle, flutter, sparkle” and we can SEE how this makes the narrator feel. Excellent job packing your poem with lively fun (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
This is a playful poem with a childlike tone. I like the way you use many bright & dynamic words -- giggle, flutter, whisper, sparkle – these words bring a poem alive with imagination & also these words sound fun when reading them. This is what “SHOW” instead of tell is about . . . the words you choose SHOW the excitement you want to convey. Instead of saying: “I am excited” . . . you say: “I giggle, flutter, sparkle” and we can SEE how this makes the narrator feel. Excellent job packing your poem with lively fun (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
I love it. It is very meaningful and encouraging. I was having quite a sad day, but that helped to cheer me up. Keep up the good work, I hope the best for you.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
I'm very happy to hear this ^.^ Thanks for the review.
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=^ v ^= Hi! I'm Yari Garcia.
I'm a YA/New Adult author.
I would love to share with you short stories and poetry.
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