Moxy Plays with Potions

A creepy poem.

Moxy plays with potions

for a living

sweet or noxious

she is stirring

"Is it love you want?

Or is it a car?

There's nothing I can't

conjure in a jar"

Moxy takes cash

up front, of course

Add it to her stash

shaped like a corpse

Moxy takes money

PayPal, gold lockets

a favor, some honey

and you're in her pocket

And stir she will

into the night

a spell, a spill

for you she might

A tiny bottle

sparkling potion

small, and subtle

your wish in motion

"Drink it down

don't taste or swish

for you might drown

inside your wish"

Moxy watches

your lips to bottle

she bats her lashes

"Ooh!  Got another one!"

****

"Moxy Plays with Potions"

by Yari Garcia

Author's Note

Any and all feedback is very welcome!

Reviews

[guy drori]

Sounds a bit like a children's poem, and that's exactly what makes it awesome . . . I like this poem :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A wonderful poem. Woman, who know magic. Can be dangerous. I liked the tale and the honest ending. Thank you Yari for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[DoormanDan]

This has a very spoopy vibe about it XD. Jokes aside, I like this. You captured the subtle gloom and flamboyant mischief that works of this type try to achieve very well. The narrative style poetry is effective here, and you avoided forcing any lines. I especially enjoyed the part "Drink it down, don't taste or swish, for you might drown, inside your wish". Out of context, it's nothing special, but when you consider the rest of the poem, it's a very strong part.

The only thing that I thought was a bit eh was the inclusion of Paypal. This may just be nitpicking, but that part just broke the immersion for me momentarily. I just feel like terminology similar to those that fit the theme of this poem should be used instead, if possible. Paypal...just feels out of place, to me. Still, the rest of the poem is enough to overshadow that little gripe (if you can even call it that) I had.

I really did enjoy reading this piece. You have something refreshing in terms of Writerscafe content here. Keep up the great work! :)

[Yari Garcia]

"Spoopy" has got to be the best word to describe the type of dark-ish poetry I've been writing lately :-D

[Chris]

A fair "chuckle" in-the-making.