The End of the World (Or at least Mine)

The story of Aaron and Halley.

It came swiftly. Last night, all the people of New York looked up in the sky to see a flock of doves come barreling from the heavens, with a being flying in the center. It was not a bird for it did not have wings, but it was a woman, if it was anything at all. She had the white skin, but not pale. Her hair was golden, casting more light than the sun. Her eyes were crystal balls that did not shine, but only reflected whatever came into them. I remember clearly because I was the one she came to see.

The name’s Aaron. I work at the new Manchester Building in Manhattan. On that particular day, I was just doing my office rounds, picking up mail for the boss, sending my finished assignments to the executives. But once, I sat down on my comfy chair and spin to look out my amazing view of the grand city of New York, I saw the flock of doves. I stood up and nearly spilled my coffee on my white long-sleeved shirt in the process because I saw something weird. Never in my life had I seen a flock of doves that could have well been in the thousands which is unheard of.

              

What shocked me even more was the woman who popped up in my office with some scantily clad dress on. When I turned around after I saw the flock, she was just standing there staring at me. No smile, no angry look, nothing at all. All she had was a blank stare. But my eyes gradually wandered to the rest of her body and I was shocked to see her figure nearly exposed because all she had was a white silk dress on. I asked her what in the world was she doing in my office, but all she said was “love me”. I couldn’t believe my eyes or my ears at that moment.

              

I stopped dating women for the past 11 months because I knew they would be trouble. I skipped college because well, some say I’m a child prodigy, but I hate being called geeky or nerdy. I’m not nerdy just smart and I’m not the most attractive guy in the world, but I do get in a little female dilemma sometimes. But that’s beside the point. I stopped dating women because I wanted to excel in the world and I have seen so many of my friends not even make it out of college because a girl completely warped their mind so I made a decision to never fall into their trap of sensuous bliss.

             

              Anyway, back to the present, the girl just kept saying “love me” like that was all she knew. I stepped towards her and covered her up with my jacket so none of my fellow employees would get the wrong idea. I put my hands on her shoulders and asked her what her name was. She looked up at me with those crystal ball eyes and said her name was Halley. And as I was about to say I was glad to meet her but she had to leave she walked over to the big window in my office and punched straight through it. The glass shattered and she stood at the edge and looked back at me with her hand out to me.

 

“Come. And I will show you the world is to end.”

 

Is this girl out of her freaking mind? I mean she did have all the beauty the world had to offer and she had a normal name, but that did not make up for the little cloth she wore or breaking the window to my new office.

 

“Come, Aaron. I want to show you how the world is to end. And I want you to love me.”

 

This girl can’t be serious, but I knew she was. My boss, Cheryl, was about as serious as they come, but this girl, Halley…she was so appealing and not because of her looks, but because of her words. She reminded me of the old stories of soothsayers, my friend overseas use to tell me about. They would tell you things of the future in a way you couldn’t resist whether they were right or wrong. My will felt as if it was slowly dissolving and my hand slowly lifted and gently grabbed her hand.

 

And the next thing I knew, we were off in the sky. I looked below and I saw the flock of doves below me and next to me was Halley. She smiled and I saw a single tear fall from her eyes, but the tear didn’t fall towards earth or disappear in the wind behind us. That single tear flew up towards a single cloud. And once it disappeared into the cloud, the cloud turned a dark grey. I couldn’t believe my eyes, but it happened right before me. And right then, Halley looked at me as I was looking up at the cloud and she said “That is where we go.”

 

I looked back at her and she was smiling, uncontrollably. She then seemed more human than ever before, almost like a shy, little school girl. She squeezed my hand and took me into the sky. It reminded me of when I was 16 and my girlfriend, Beth, always grabbed me by the hand when she wanted to show me something. Only difference here is that Halley was showing me the universe.

              

                The next thing I knew we were both in the cloud and I could barely see her because of the fog that surrounded me, but then a light began to shine within the cloud. Halley came forward or at least I think it was her, I couldn’t make out her face, but I could clearly see her figure.

 

“I brought you here, Aaron because I need you. My name is Halley. The star, Deneb, that you know is the center of my galaxy like the sun is to your galaxy. I have come from so far because I was banished by my father because I didn’t wish to marry the one person he presented to me. So I was kicked out of my world and I wandered from galaxy to galaxy searching for love. And I found this world, Earth. I saw the love so many humans presented each other with and I was so happy to finally find a place where I may receive the same feeling.”

 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but at the same time, I was flying inside a cloud with a girl more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

 

“I haven’t been here in 75 years, Aaron. I have circled your world and others for some time now, looking for love. And once again, I wish to ask you, before I leave, to love me.”

 

I couldn’t believe what was happening and I was wondering when I was going to pass out, but I had a feeling that I was in a dream. I felt I was on the brink of being asleep and awake, but I knew what was going on clearly. In all my life, in all my studies, I have never encountered something so magnificent, strange, confusing, and frightening. But she was so real to me. I don’t remember what was going around me; my mind was completely fixed on her. As I was thinking of her words, I saw another tear, drop from her eye and her smile dwindled.

 

               I smiled at her and told her I would go and so we did. I can’t tell you what I felt, but her face said it all. Her crystal balled eyes finally lit up and shined so bright that I couldn’t see another thing until sometime later.

 

 I can’t tell you the rest because human words cannot explain what is beyond a human’s eyes. All I can tell you is that I never saw earth again after Halley touched the ground that fateful day. It was July 28th, 2061, the last day of earth for me and probably for everyone else.

Reviews

Intriguing; I like the way you leap straight into the story without dithering around stagnant openings or scene-setting. It really drew me into the story right away, kept me wanting to read onwards. The whole concept, as well, is developed really well throughout; there was nothing that made me stop and thing "Hey, what?", but there were a few that made me go "Ohhh... right!" You really captured the essence of the woman's eyes, too; they were some of the most vividly imagined things in the story, which works to its advantage =).

My only suggestion is that you maybe look over the dialogue again. It feels a little stilted in parts, and I think it could be more effective at creating mood and tension. For example, at the start the way you had the woman say "love me" was a bit underwhelming. In my humble opinion, perhaps expanding the dialogue a little and describing the woman's tone and the way she said those important two words would help that. =)

[Paul Wallace]

That was very well paced and had a nice twist at the end! Keep writing!