Mirror

Every morning is the usual. The same routine all the time. I go to the bathroom and get ready to start my dreadful day. But today… no something about this day is different. I’ve notice something that I never really notice before. I saw myself. I saw myself in the reflection of the mirror. I turned the faucet on and cup some water in my hand. I splashed the water on my face and then put my head under the water. I tried to get the tired out of my eyes. It seems that I may be seeing things. I lifted my head from the water and dried my face off. I was still seeing my reflection. What is this melancholy feeling I am getting?  I just sat there staring at it. It was like seeing the world for the very first time. I mean I’ve seen myself countless times but never like this. It was like looking through a microscope and examining what made me… me. I saw everything. I saw all my feelings, all the secrets, all the lies, all the problems. I can see the evil in me. What was it? What made me finally open the curtain to a show that was displayed every day? I didn’t like this. I didn’t like seeing myself like this. I tried to look away but I couldn’t. It’s like a mirror of requirement. I sat there staring at the mirror. I asked the reflection questions, who are you? What are you? What do you want from me? Why do you act like this? You act like everything is okay and you know it’s not. How do you do it? Why are you nice when you should be mean> you’re only hurting yourself. Ever since mom passed you try to act strong but are you really? Deep down you know you’re lost without her. But you lie to everyone. You lie to yourself. You’re weak. How do you expect to survive? As I’m asking these questions my questions are being redirected back towards me. These questions I personally can’t bring myself to answer. I… I couldn’t find the answers. Why couldn’t I answer my own damn questions? The frustration gets to my head causes me to attack the pure, cursed mirror. I punched the mirror and it shattered. Through the pain in my hand, the blood drips. Every single drop is like every single sin being released. The mirror, who only had one reflection, now has many. The broke mirror now had many reflections of myself laughing at me. It seems I can’t get away from them. One reflection says “You hurt yourself but yet you still can’t feel nothing. Why is that? Is your heart covered with a black veil that can’t be removed or is it because it doesn’t want to be removed?” all the reflections are talking at once. I can’t take it. I got to stop this! What is this feeling? It hurts. No, not my hand. It’s inside of me. I think it’s my heart that is hurting. I grabbed my chest. As I go down the reflection are just staring at me, pointing. What are they pointing to? The piece of mirror on the floor. I grabbed it and all at once they said “end it. End the pain.” I put the shard of glass to my wrist and froze. “Do it.” They said, “The pain will go. You’ll finally be set free.” I was shaking and SHAKING, trying not to think about the darkness… until there was blood. That’s when I was finally set free.