Glimpsing another world

This was my English end of year test piece... i got 25/25 on it :)

It was a beautiful night. Stars were scattered like fairy dust across the never ending ocean of nightfall. The full moon, beaming above me seemed to almost take over the blue berry sky. There was not a cloud that cloaked its silky light that bathed the world around me in a soft, silvery blanket. It danced across the gently rippling water before me, as if a hand had descended down from the sky and delicately let glitter fall from its finger tips. A soft breeze wound its way around my body, whispering in my ear. I shivered slightly, not from cold for it was a pleasant evening, but from excitement. Tonight was the night I had been wishing for. Tonight was the night that I had been promised for so long.

 

My dad beckoned me to the edge of the water, he held out his hand to me and I stepped onto the boat. It was a small rowing boat that he had made himself. It could fit only two people and had no motor. He liked it better that way.

 

I shuffled over to the front of the boat and enveloped myself in a blanket. I hugged it to myself and sank into its folds. My dad got into the boat himself and sat down quietly, then took an ore in each hand and started rowing. He was careful not to disturb the water then what was necessary or unavoidable. The gentle swaying and rocking of the boat reminded me of a cradle and soon brought me into a slumber, filled with glitter.

 

I woke to find us in the middle of the lake. I looked around; Huge Mountains, majestic, like solders standing to attention, seemed to rise out of the very lake we were floating on. The forests that had once seemed so huge to me, when playing in them as a young child, were totally dwarfed by the Mountains; they seemed to take up the whole landscape.

 

I became aware of my dad putting on his life jacket. I scrambled around and quickly did the same, my fingers fumbling slightly with the clip. He looked at me and I looked back. We exchanged a smile then, as one, we lowered ourselves over the edge of the boat. We didn’t make a single splash as our bodies slipped into the water. It was ice cold but I forgot about the temperature after a few seconds. We made our way away from the boat, him going about a meter further away then I.

 

Then we waited.

 

I looked across at him, watching his face. He was searching the water with his eyes like two head lights. Then suddenly he smiled and nodded very slightly although he wasn’t looking at me. I looked down and gasped.

 

Hundreds upon hundreds of fish were darting all around us. They were a stampede of colour; Twisting and spiralling, their colours sparking from the soft light of the moon. We were in a whirl pool of brilliant, vibrant colours; blues, silvers, greens, gold’s. Trapped in a beautiful world, totally detached from our own, it was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. It had definitely been worth the wait.

 

All too soon it ended. I sighed happily. Then became aware of just how cold the water was. I rubbed my arms, creating momentarily, split second relief. My dad swam over to me

 

“Hot Chocolate?” he asked

“P-p-p-please” I grinned

Author's Note

i'm 14 thank you for your time :)

Reviews

[WriterMe]

Beautiful! I loved everything about it! Your 14 and you write so well? Wow. The imagination, descriptions and words used were just excellent.
I loved the first paragraph. i actually shivered, it felt so real.
Loved your work =]

--NIki