Remember Your Dream

This is an essay written by Ang Lee, the Oscar winner director from Taiwan. I translated it from Chinese to practice my English.

Author: Ang Lee, Translated by YYH

When I was to apply for the drama and film department at the University of Illinois in 1978, my father was very antipathy. He gave me some data: in Broadway in the United States, there are only two hundred roles a year. But there are fifty thousand people competing for these roles. I boarded a flight to the United States obstinately.  The relationship with my father was ice cold ever since. We spoke less than one hundred sentences in the two decades following.

However, a few years later, when I graduated from the film school, I finally came to understand my father’s concern. In the film industry in the United States, it is very difficult for a Chinese without any background to become successful. Since 1983, I spent six years in long and hopeless waiting. I did some chores, like helping the crew with the equipment, assisting editing or stage manager. The most painful experience was visiting 30 companies in two weeks for a script and being rejected harshly each time.

At that time, I was nearly thirty years old. A Chinese saying is “man stands on his own feet at the age of thirty”. I could not even earn a proper living. What should I do? Continue to wait, or to give up the dream of movie? Fortunately, my wife gave me the most timely  encourages.

My wife is my college mate. She studied biology. After graduation, she became a drug researcher at a small local Laboratory with meager salary. At that time, we already had our eldest son Han Li. In order to ease my guilt, except reading, watching movies, writing the script at home, I did all the housework -  grocery shopping, taking care of our son, and cooking. I kept our home very tidy.  I remember at that time, every evening after preparing dinner, I and our son sat at the door, while telling stories to him, we were waiting for the "heroic hunter mother took prey (cost of living) home”.

That kind of life hurt a man’s pride. There was a time, my parents in law wanted to give me some money to open a Chinese restaurant so that I could feed my family. But my wife refused the money with pride. I passed several sleepless nights, and finally determined: the dream of movie may be too far away from me in this life, I ought to face the reality.

 

Later, I went to a nearby community college, looked around for a long time, and registered a computer class sadly. When life was overwhelming, it seemed that only the computer could allow me to gain some skills in the shortest possible time. For several days after the registration, I had been dispirited. My wife soon found I was abnormal. Carefully, she found the curriculum in my bag. That night, she did not speak to me a word.

The next day, before going to work, she was getting into the car. Suddenly, she stood under the steps, turned, and slowly, told me: "Ann, remember the dreams of your heart!"

At that moment, a sudden gust of wind blown in my heart, The dream about to drown in a mediocre life shines into the bottom of my heart like the sun in that morning sun. My wife drove away. I took the curriculum from the bag, slowly torn to pieces, and thrown them into the trash.

Later, my script was sponsored by the Foundation, I began to pick up my own cameras. And then later, some of the films began winning international prizes. At that time, my wife revisited the old things, she told me: "I've always believed that it is enough for a man to have only one strength. Yours is to make movies. There are enough people in the computer school, that they are not lack of you, Ang Lee.  If you want to get the Oscar statue, ensure you have a dream. "

Today, I finally got the Oscars. I think my patience and my wife’s sacrifices have finally been rewarded. It makes me more determined to go my way with movies.

Because, my heart will always have a dream about movie.