I Am Me, But Not Me

A poem about the questions of Identity.

I alone sit in this bed;

Not you nor he nor she.

My thoughts alone to them I’m wed;

My passing memories.

But try I must to realize

Who lies deep in my mind.

I think about and fantasize

The thoughts of all mankind.

The life i've lived is simple,

Peaceful and serene.

Or so I am led to believe,

That recalled by machine.

The mirror tells me lies each day;

The painting abstract and strange.

But alas I change in brand new ways;

My appearance gets rearranged.

Am I not then just a vessel;

A boat made for the brain.

What’s me is simply mental;

These thoughts drive me insane.

If subconscious is just all I am.

Is it always the same?

Or do I change when I engram.

Does sleep remove my name?

But is not name just label?

A number to me assigned,

Given to me in cradle.

No choice of mine defined.

So is identity chosen?

Or do I have no choice?

Identity appears to be frozen,

I feel I have no voice.

But this simply can’t be true,

I change my life through time.

I must be different from you,

Your life different from mine.

But how can I be sure?

Perhaps you have my thoughts.

Disapproved with censure.

Your answers filled with nots.

Perhaps I should not base myself,

On my own personal mind,

But on what appears on the shelf.

My name in book entwined.

Is not Einstein immortal?

His name forever alive.

We look at him through portal,

Is his self contrived?

These cannot be the answers,

Perhaps I get replaced.

Could we not all be actors?

Different people in our face.

How would we know the fake

What tests could we perform?

Would these tests all break?

Consistency we don’t conform.

Perhaps one thing is true about

This thing I call myself.

I am sure without much doubt,

That one is their oneself.

Not their past, but the present,

The choices they make now.

Those choices to define they’re meant

The identity we wear they sow

Author's Note

The exploration of identity.