I love this poem, it's just the kind of work I like... I look at old barns or buildings etc and wonder what it's life has been like, what it was used for when it was built, who used it etc... this is so awesome, the same kind of thing... keep up the awesome work :D
I think you excelled in this poem because you focused on a single image and built your metaphors, phrases and imagery around it, which kind anchored your feelings and radiated forth from the center.
I really enjoyed the 4rth stanza as to me it evoked a sort of melancholy which captured the photo perfectly. I also found myself relating to this wall around that stanza.
I like old building and structures. They are like ghost from the past. I like the way you described this wall. Giving the wall history and honor. A strong ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote
Walls have their own stories behind them, whether good or bad. But they do hold lots of past memories from the previous families and people who have lived in that house. Kids can carve their names or draw anything on any type of wall that are built and exist. They hold memories, dreams, and possible pain that had occurred over the years.
Honestly, it's so nice that you wrote about this, I'm very impressed. It can actually connect to real life, and how we get withered in time, and yet we try to stay strong, no matter what obstacles we seem to face. And the wall example is a great one, the way you blended in the words, and personified the wall, it's just a great way to explain life. It was certainly enjoyable to read, and made me smile. Life is certainly not easy, but we must stand tall, and take an example from the wall.
The One That's Non-Existant As Far As You're Concerned., British Columbia, Canada
About
So that you will hear me
So that you will hear me
my words
sometimes grow thin
as the tracks of the gulls on the beaches.
Necklace, drunken bell
for your hands smooth as grapes.
And I wat.. more..