I Killed Annabel

Based on my short story, and it IS incomplete, so please be patient with me, and tell me how it looks so far.

FADE IN:

 

EXT. DARK NEIGHBOURHOOD STREET- AROUND MIDNIGHT

An establishing shot of the distraught neighbourhood, with police lights flickering and a loud synchronized hum of whispers from the gathered neighbours. They watch as the police officers talk among themselves, discussing, making phone calls, and running back and forth between two groups: a group of young adults aged between 18-20 years, and a family, both crying. The young adults look shaken, and are crying holding on to one another, and the family looks frightened, the mother running from cop to cop to find out what’s happened.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. DARK NEIGHBOURHOOD STREET- AROUND MIDNIGHT- MURDERER’S POV

A subjective shot of the Murderer’s POV, and shows everything happening, at a distance from the whole scene. He tilts his head to side curiously, as the truth of what happened in to the girl in that house unfolds before the family, and as the young adults re-live it.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. CRIME SCENE/DARK NEIGHBOURHOOD STREET- AROUND MIDNIGHT

A re-establishing shot as the police officer confronts the young adults on the front lawn of the crime scene/house:

 

POLICE OFFICER#1

(Calmly)

So… Sierra..? Where did you find her?

 

The smallest female of the group looks shaken, and ashen:

 

SIERRA

(Stuttering and sobbing)

I don’t know… I- I was looking for h-her because

I hadn’t seen her in a while, and she said she would be on

the phone for only a little while… I went t-to my b-bedroom

to check on her a-and…

 

She breaks out into tears again turning away to vomit violently on the pavement. The police officer shakes his head, looking a little pale himself, then turns to ask another one of the groups member, this time a male:

 

POLICE OFFICER#1

(Reluctantly)

And how about you, son? What did you see?

Anything unusual, maybe? Or anyone unusual show up?

Are you okay, Blake? You don’t look so good… Maybe you

should have a seat… c’mon have a seat, son.

CONT’D

The young man shakes his head quietly and remains standing, beginning to look a little sick:

 

BLAKE:

(Stammering and choking on his words)

N-No, sir not to my knowledge… I just… We loved her…

We all knew her… and to see her like that… she was so

pale. I’ve known her all my life… I felt like I should’ve

protected her… She shouldn’t have gone like that… Oh god…

 

 

Blake turns and jogs away to the side of the house and begins to wretch.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. DARK NEIGHBOURHOOD STREET- AROUND MIDNIGHT

On the other side of the street another police officer stands and reluctantly touches the mothers shoulder with sympathy and begins to explain the situation to her:

 

 

POLICE OFFICER#2

Look ma’am… I really am sorry to be the one to tell you

this, no parent should have to hear it. But…

 

As the police officer is talking the paramedics carry-out a body covered in a white sheet stained in blood, and a hand hanging out with a charm bracelet on it. The mother sees it and suddenly she falls to her knees, GASPING and SOBBING before loudly SCREAMING for her daughter, as the rest of the family runs to comfort her, and cry with her, all of them huddled on the street sobbing:

 

MOTHER

(Loudly with wracking sobs)

No… no! NO! My baby! MY BABY! Please…

Please tell m-me that… No! Oh god no!

No no no! It can’t be! My baby! Oh my poor darling child!

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. DARK NEIGHBOURHOOD STREET- AROUND MIDNIGHT- MURDERER’S POV

Tilts head to other side and closes eyes, MOANING QUIETLY, then continues to watch SIGHING.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. CRIME SCENE- AROUND MIDNIGHT

The police officer walked away quietly and shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts. He tapped his partner’s shoulder before speaking:

 

CONT’D

POLICE OFFICER #2

(Quietly)

I think we need to call in for some help…

 

POLICE OFFICER #1

(Reluctantly)

Are you sure…? I mean, don’t you

think that was a bit quick to decide? Maybe we should…

 

POLICE OFFICER #2

(Sternly)

No. This is a small town Chuck, things like this

don’t just happen like that, not here. Let alone happening

twice this month already. Either you call them in, or I will.

 

Police officer #1 sighed reluctantly and gave a shrug before turning away.

 

POLICE OFFICER#1

I suppose you’re right, I’ll go down to the station

and call in some help… You coming?

 

POLICE OFFICER #2

No, I’m going to look around a bit more…

I’ll see you there in a couple hours, keep me posted.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. DARK NEIGHBOURHOOD STREET- AROUND MIDNIGHT- MURDERER’S POV

Subjective shot from the murderer’s POV, as he pulls his glasses off slowly and wipes blood off of the frame, and massages it between fingers as if to thoroughly feel the texture of it, before he reaches up, and out of the camera’s sight, and pulls back with the blood gone, indicating that the murderer has tasted the blood. The murderer then gets up and walks away, pausing a moment after turning away to look back over his shoulder.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. CRIME SCENE- AROUND MIDNIGHT

Police Officer #1 walked away quietly to his car and Police Officer#2 walked to the crying friends.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. NEIGHBOURHOOD STREET- FEW HOURS LATER

An establishing shot of the house and neighbourhood, and everyone has gone. The stars are still up in the sky, but the sun has just barely begun rising as well. The murderer is walking back up the street, towards the house in which the girl was killed earlier.

CONT’D

CUT TO:

 

EXT. CRIME SCENE- LATE NIGHT [2AM-3AM]

A close up of killer’s hands, as he slips a pair of gloves on, and then a wide shot of him ducking under the crime-scene tape, and walking into the house, and a tracking shot following behind him to the front door.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. CRIME SCENE- LATE NIGHT [2AM-3AM]

A establishing shot of the home inside, showing the warm colors, comfy furniture, and expensive looking décor. Then after an extreme close up shot of the door knob turning, we zoom out to a medium shot of the killer entering the door way, and then dolly out to a full shot and track backwards with the murderer, as he walks towards the camera, then stops less than a foot from the camera, giving us an extreme

close up of the murderer’s mouth and a small scar on his jaw-line as he smiles and turns to the camera’s left and into the hallway. Camera turns in the direction her goes to watch him disappear into the shadows of the hallway.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. CRIME SCENE- LATE NIGHT [2AM-3AM]

Extreme close up of door knob, and a hand reaches for the door knob and turns it slowly before opening the door. A re-establishing shot of the bloody bedroom. The carpet is stained in blood, and there is drying blood spatter on the walls.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. BLOODY BEDROOM/CRIME SCENE- LATE NIGHT [2AM-3AM]

An over the shoulder shot, over the murderer’s shoulder as he sits on his knees, one knee on either side of a giant pool of blood that has sunk into the carpet already, almost straddling it. Still an over the shoulder shot, as the man begins to touch the bloody-carpet. Then impatiently tugs his gloves off.

 

MURDERER

(Desperate whisper)

I have to… I have to… I have to feel… I have to

feel it… Yes! Feel it. I must feel her.

I must feet her. Oh yes, Annabel! Oh my sweet

Annabel! How I missed you Annabel…

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. BLOODY BEDROOM/CRIME SCENE- LATE NIGHT [2AM-3AM]

The murderer is touching, almost caressing, the bloody carpet with feverish and trembling hands then pressing down hard enough

CONT’D

to make the blood gush up around his finger and he moans softly. Then from a worm’s-eye-view we see him leaning over to bring his mouth closer to the blood in a sensual way.

 

LAP-DISSOLVES TO:

 

INT. BLOODY BEDROOM/CRIME SCENE- LATE NIGHT [3AM-4AM]

There is sunlight just barely starting to peek in through the window, and the camera looks down at the murderer on the carpet, from a high-angle shot. He is lying on his back and we see he is in just boxers and is giggling quietly covered mostly by the shadows of the dark room so the audience still cannot see his full face.

 

MURDERER

(Whispers)

Oh my, Annabel… You’ve become… so much more... bold.

 

CUT TO:

 

Author's Note

Let me know what you think... =]

Reviews

[JRB]

very nicely done

[joshua deathdealer]

This was a great read. Well constructed with vivid imagery. I'd like to read the story.

[Fuzzy_Poluzah]

I feel a horror movie coming on :D great work btw!

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Wow, this is excellent reading.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I know absolutely nothing about screenplays but I love to watch movies. this looks good to me :)

[zappy]

i re read this one a few times . love it . the best thing ive read all day