Probably the best poem I've ever read. Simple, yet lovely... dreamy, even. You used onomatopoeia, which is a poetry technique that I -usually- don't care for. But girl, you rocked it! You have to be really talented to pull off onomatopoeia without sounding cliche or cheesy, but I'm telling you, you were -perfect-. Super awesome amazing incredible job!
Arasinya, This has to be one of your best poems, for various reasons. The imagery used was perfect and the flow was also perfect to me. The message was clear and the poem pulled me in and made me wonder if the ending was what I thought it was so bravo for making me think. I agree with Jason, Id like to explain where this poem took me, but I am not sure it was suppose to do that, LOL if so or not what a wonderful write.
Okay, this was amazing.
Definitely my favorite poem that you've written so far.
I love the rhyme scheme,
and the whole thing flows like water.
I'd like to explain where this poem took me, but for the life of me I can't find the words.
To put it simply: I think this is the most calming poem I've ever read.
And certainly one of most beautiful.
The One That's Non-Existant As Far As You're Concerned., British Columbia, Canada
About
So that you will hear me
So that you will hear me
my words
sometimes grow thin
as the tracks of the gulls on the beaches.
Necklace, drunken bell
for your hands smooth as grapes.
And I wat.. more..