Loving Him

Bleh

I know a boy,

A boy stuck in the body

Of a            man,

Stuck under the pressure

Of what a man

                   Should be.

I know a boy

And he has         f r e c k l e s,

Broad shoulders and,                  

soft hair,

Gentle lips,        

and strong arms…

And he hates the world.

 

He said he hated everyone,

As he held onto

me…

In

the

shadowy,

corners,

Of his bedroom.

He held onto me, and

I couldn’t           b r e a t h e

As his pain

Crushed me,

As my skin absorbed

His unshed tears

and my soul,

Drank in his

bitterness.

And I cannot remember the

          Color

Of his eyes…

Only the torment they hold.

 

I know a boy,

And he is so hard,

He is so b r o k e n.

His skin is thick,

and his guard is up.

But when he sleeps…

The rigidness        slips      away,

And his weariness disappears,

His broad shoulders relax,

And never,

Have I seen a man

Look so…

Vulnerable.

I know a man,

Who is but, a

B r o k e n

Boy,

One who hides his scars

Beneath broad shoulders,

And strong arms.

I know a man,

Who is but, a

L o s t

Soul,

And his gentle lips

Never smile,

I know a boy who needs

                   To be loved

For a while--

 

 

In the shadowy corners of his bedroom.

Author's Note

Bleh

Reviews

[Luke L]

Great writing, I really appreciate the honesty in this piece, but the spacing and use of varying fonts, I don't really care for it, I find it distracts me from the words. It's just my opinion, but I think style shouldn't distract from communication, style should be somewhat transparent in my mind.

[Adora.xo]

I'm glad you liked it! I think I might fix the structure of it, I actually wasn't too sure myself what I was doing with it really or if I wanted to do anything with it at all. Thank you kindly for the review :] I appreciate it.

[MoriartyMesa]

The girl who is there, could be with a G.I. waiting to go back and take a crack at them Germans, a new recruit who knew Johny Reb is waiting on the other side of Gettysburg. or just a Boy who needed a bit of understand.


Nice.

[Adora.xo]

Thank you for the review! :3

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Wow, this piece hit me somewhere personal. Great piece, with true depth of understanding of another. Awesome write... it held on to a piece of me I wish didn't exist.

[Adora.xo]

I don't know if I'm glad that you could relate to this or not... It's a rather sad piece. But I'm glad that you liked it anyway :) Thank you very much for the review love!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

It is a sad piece, but unfortunately I relate to it deeply. You are very welcome, it was my pleasure.

[fwvalidus]

This is a good piece. I enjoy how selfless the point of view character is. I'm not entirely sure whether the broken structure is necessary, I would have to read it with a simpler structure to know for sure!

[Adora.xo]

Thank you so much for this review, I'm glad you liked this piece! As for the structure, I wasn't really sure what to do with it, I DID want to do something typographical, but wasn't really sure... still not. But I appreciate your thoughts on it :3 I really need to edit this a bit! Thanks again

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is very good. I like the use of repetition. The strong description took the reader into thoughts and concern for the man/boy. I believe in the safety of a private room. People show themselves. I like the closure to the poem. You left a open ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Adora.xo]

Thank you for reading it Coyote! Your reviews are always my favorite, and very very appreciated :). I think sometimes... people hide their emotions behind a wall and let it all pile up, no matter how it hurts. I fear that sometimes, at a far too young age, boys are given examples of how men should be; strong, unemotional etc. and this makes them more susceptible to bottle these feelings up. It hurts me to see people go through that.