He Went Out Drunk

He Went Out Drunk

A Poem by Danielle Allison <3

He went out drunk out one night.
He knew how I felt about it.
He knew I didn't like it.
I tried to stop him.
I tried to tell him no
It didn't work.
He still went out.

A few hours later...
Got a phone call.
From the hospital.
Tell me my dad was in an accident.
I didn't know if I should cry or die.
Dropped the phone.
Ran out the door.

I couldn't drive so I ran all across town.
Rain was filling my shoes.
It was dripping on my face and was blending in with my tears.
I couldn't believe this.
Tried to tell him.
Didn't listen.
Does her care about his daughter?

© 2008 Danielle Allison <3


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Reviews

This is the second poem you've written that talks about drinking. As someone that quit drinking years ago (partially so my kids would still have a father) without someone trying to get me to, I enjoyed this more than your other work.

If it is based on something real I would say that you cannot make people stop. Sometimes it is their friends that cause their addiction. Sometimes alcohol is their mood stabilizer.
Your visualizations are good...would like to see you write about some other topics to get a true feel for your work.
Look forward to reading more.

Posted 16 Years Ago


honesty, brutality, reality....no rose colored glasses for this teen. tells it like it is. can i make just one suggestion ;;; and its only my opinion;;; 3rd line, last stanza, keep it all short with =ing verbs. unless this is the time to catch your breath while running to the hospital.. your choice my dear. no matter,,,i loved it anyway. and i do hope that i read something happier from you sometime.

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on February 24, 2008

Author

Danielle Allison &lt;3
Danielle Allison <3

Babalabloo, KS, Tromelin Island



About
The name is Danielle. I LOVE blury photos and hair straighteners. :] I really like to write. Knowing that I'm not as good as some other people on here, I still try like hell. I really dig science. It'.. more..

Writing