Rise and Fall

Gymnastics... It was my reason for this whole goddamn life.

 

Without that, I am utterly lost.

 

Art is fun, but it’s not gymnastics and it cannot compare.

Poetry is awesome, but it can’t compare either.

Nothing I do can compare to this loss, nothing can replace it. Ever.

I can’t help but ask, how do I deal with this? What am I supposed to do? But I know my cries fall on deaf ears because these are questions that can’t be answered except by someone who understands and no one really gets it so... I just scream into the void.

 

Gymnastics saved me from whatever dark place I was headed to two years ago, but in the end, it has brought me to a darker place.

 

I have no reason anymore.

 

I’m throwing these reasons around in my mind, trying to convince myself that it’s enough of an answer to the question why, but...

It’s not going to last.

I’m going to run out of reasons why sometime.

And then what?

 

Do I then just stop being?

 

I have no passion, and what are we without passion? What are we without hope?

 

 

Life is about giving and taking, balance.

You give advice, love, care, and friendship, whatever. You give to someone, and they take from you. So that they can take what you have given them, apply it to themselves and then go on to give to another. It’s a chain, a perennial cycle of the ages.

Some people only know how to take.

Some people only know how to give.

It hurts either way, but when you learn to find the balance in it all, then you begin to thrive.

 

Life is about rising and falling, the rhythm of the world.

A young celebrity, rises to fame, and falls as their time runs out.

A sports star, rises to the top, and then, they pass a certain point and another younger star rises up to take that top medal place.

As you rise, so you will fall.

I rose with gymnastics, and then I lost it, and now- I fall and I fall and I fall. Until someday, when I may rise with something else.

Like the rise and fall of the tide, or a lost balloon, what goes up, must come down. The law applies to more than just the realm of physics and reality. It exists within the mind, heart, and souls of humanity; it’s one of the many truths of life’s great lie.

 

There will always be a high road and a low road in life. At every decision, there is two ways to go. High or low, pick your poison. And when you look at it in theory, it’s easy to say the obvious place to go is the high road. Go towards your dreams, climbing the ladder of life, reaching for your goal. But sometimes, you will have to take the low road to see and understand what you truly need to do, and how to get back to the high road you want to take. The low road is dark. It sucks. And it’s going to hurt. But it’s learning to break, in order to rebuild; it’s learning to fall in order to rise again.