A Moment of Philosophy

Journal excerpt, written 11/14/12.

"I need a thousand year nap in a locked glass coffin.

Maybe then I would finally get some rest.

But then maybe the sleep would be too addicting and Id never wake up.

Oh, but even if that were the case, I would still go.

I'm tied to this world by the tangled chains of others, and when I try to withdraw, I become tangled in my own shackles.

I dreamt of adventure once, of finding wings and casting away the manacles but now I fear the darkness is swallowing me whole and there is no escape save the last.

The last escape, the farthest dream, untouchable yet because I am bound to this world in misery.

 

"Everything is becoming one shadow."

 

One shadow indeed, or has it always been that way? Maybe those destined for darkness are born to that destiny and carry the darkness with them always. Maybe those fated to fall under know it all along and go about life pretending not to know.

And if those souls, prisoners that we are, carry the darkness forever, are we simply waiting for it to manifest?

I was a child once, and suffered my hardships but all with some air of normalcy, because what else did I know?

Now I see laughter, cheer, happy spirits and I am not a part of them and I have to ask, where is normal? Is there a middle ground where life can exist pleasantly?

Or maybe all are fated to kiss the lips of darkness... As the world grows older, ranks from the abyss grow bigger, bolder, and maybe someday they will be stronger and then we will have reached the end of the race of men.

The race of men doesn’t belong here anyway.

 

I realize that I am part of them, and so I am no better, but that is inevitable and I will gladly accept my end when it comes, so that there may be one less cruelty on this earth.

 

It kills me to know what I’ve come to realize, but it must be said, for the future record, to prove that at least one soul understood.

We humans think we’re so high and mighty. We walk like emperors, swagger and stagger like drunken kings, intoxicated by our own conceited beliefs. We’ve stopped knowing our place on the earth. Society now tells us to believe we are the most “intelligent” race, that we know best. And we’ve only just begun to “understand” the “intelligence” of the beasts, the “lesser species.”

It shames me to think I am born into this race, but maybe that is one of the things I am supposed to learn.

 

We understood the other species once. In a time long lost, we were in tune to the earth, living in harmony. We could feel the beating hearts of the trees, touch and know the spirit of a stone, hear a seashell call back to its homeland.

But as our kin of old died out, so did the knowledge of truth.

The faeries, elves, dragons, magickal creatures… They have nearly, if not completely, all moved on to other realms.

The ignorance of the race of men has doomed this earth to fall to darkness.

We no longer create, only destroy. It is a surprise, and a shame, that something has not brought about the end.

The end is long overdue.”