How to be You

Another English assignment =D

Would it matter to you if I stole your life?

If I got lost inside your memories, fears and desires

I think I could fool your friends and foes

Into believing I was you.

 

If I got lost inside your memories, fears and desires,

Mimicking everything I understood about you,

I would pull off the biggest charade

and wear you around like a costume.

 

Mimicking everything I understood about you,

Your complex mystery would finally unravel

And all the questions you answered

Wouldn’t be so confusing to me.

 

Your complex mystery would finally unravel,

Seeing a new side of yourself.

Part of you would try to hide in fear,

The rest would be consumed in curiosity.

 

Seeing a new side of yourself

Would give you hope for all your disappointments.

So I'll ask you one more time

Would it matter to you if I stole your life?

 

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Some haunting revelations of self and sanity... of life borrowed or stolen... A wondrous balance of beautiful form and dark emotional vibrance. I so hope you're still writing, Heidi.. wherever you might be...

[Antonio Valentino]

This was very deep I really enjoyed it.

That would be nice to have a mirror inside our soul.

Wonderful job.

[deeps]

Now this is a very well written write.
It flows and has reason with it.
Very nicely written. Love the emotion.

[KAREN]

Well I thought it was nicely written and enjoyable read!!

[Ashes]

Did your teacher/professor give you this prompt? If they did, shoot them for me, I'm tired of teachers who give out these types of overdone prompts.

Your style was nice, and honestly I think that if you had been given the freedom to come up with something without time constraints and guidelines, it would have been simply amazing. Your style, cadence and ability to make such an over-done plot bearable says a lot about the talent you have.

My real problem with this, outside of the theme itself, is that it's very linear for a poem, when poems are really supposed to be about the imagery and the emotions that play in to that imagery. They're also supposed to allow for artistic liberties that would most likely get you ridiculed if it was a full out story, or an essay.

I am definitely gong to check out the rest of your work though.