Where Does My Heart Beat Now- Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Excitement flowed through Ellen’s veins that evening during the time she and Faye spent getting ready for the ball. The tent was sweltering from the heat, causing sweat beads to form on their chests and faces. Every few minutes they would have to dab a tissue over their faces to keep their makeup from melting off. So that they wouldn’t burn up during the process of putting on the rest of their makeup and fixing their hair, both women sat around on their cots in their underpinnings, which was precisely the reason Ellen had tied the tent flaps closed just in case someone happened to walk by and see inside.

Faye concentrated on swiping a black liquid liner across her top eyelids, but her mind kept wandering to what she had witnessed when she and Ellen had been tied up to the tree. “So, I noticed you were staring rather closely at Seamus during the battle today. You quite like him, don’t you?”

The question made Ellen look up at the woman sitting across from her, “I have no idea what you are talking about. No man will ever capture my heart.”

“Right.” Faye gave Ellen a knowing look, “Then I guess you would be wise to tell him to stay away from you just as you told me to do with Casey… This, by the way, isn’t going to happen.”

Ellen couldn’t think of a retort to counter Faye’s comment, and went back to dusting a highlighting powder onto her cheek bones. How long could she keep hiding her attraction towards Seamus? She hated to admit it, but she was turning into a normal woman with desires. So much for vowing to hate men for the rest of my life. Faye’s catching on, now.

“Ellen! Would you hurry up and finish putting your face on so I can do your hair?” Faye almost shouted as she dumped a bag of hair products onto her cot.

The scarlet woman pushed the thoughts of Seamus out of her mind in order to allow Faye to start on her hair. For the long process Ellen stared longingly at her beautiful steel gray silk ball gown hanging beside Faye’s pale blue ball gown. A black scalloped lace ran along the hemline and along the lighter gray crepe material overlaying the silk underneath. The crepe had been drawn up into scallops around the skirt. At the bottom of each scallop gather was a black dangling crystal. What made the dress unique was the neckline of the bodice. It rose up higher than most ball gowns with it turning into a partial turtleneck on the sides and back and was decorated with the same black lace as the skirt. The turtleneck was made out of a thin mesh material to keep the wearer from getting too hot. Sure, the color of the dress wasn’t as vibrant as most, but it suited Ellen’s personality.

“I’m actually excited about going to the ball,” Ellen stated a few minutes later, cringing when Faye pushed a bejeweled bobby pin through her thick, curly hair. “Ouch! Easy on the scalp, honey.”

Faye spoke through a mouthful of bobby pins, “Sorry. For a girl with thick hair you sure are tender headed.”

With only a short amount of time left until they had to head to the ball, both women quickly helped each other finish their hair before beginning the long process of lacing up the ball gowns. Considering they had gone through the same routine many times before over the past few years, they knew how long it took. Even though she was going to the ball that still didn’t mean Ellen was going to dance. It just wasn’t her cup of tea.

 

“Thank God, it fits!” Kate sighed in relief the second Mae tied her laces at the spot between her shoulder blades.

Kate, Mae, Moira, and Ava had been hard at work helping each other for the past few hours get into their dresses, and Kate was relieved to find that her new dress fit despite it being made from her old measurements. That meant she had lost the rest of her baby belly in the months following the Jefferson reenactment.

A noise outside of the tent told the women that the men were already on their way. A few of the women scoffed in disgust as they listened to their men chatter on about something of no interest to them.

“All they have to do is change their vests and they’re ready to go. Makes me sick,” Mae said after fixing the low neckline on Kate’s mint green-colored dress, actually pulling it down to expose more of her cleavage. The older woman was determined to make her daughter-in-law irresistible to all who set eyes on her.

Mentally rolling her eyes at Mae tugging her bodice down, Kate tried her best to not move her head while Moira pinned small braids within the tight ringlets she had spent the past thirty minutes setting as Ava stuck straight bobby pins adorned with clusters of pearls throughout her hair to finish off the regal look they were going for. Her ball gown made it difficult for her to stand for long periods of time because of the weight of the material pulling down on her hips, and that wasn’t including the white mesh overskirt covered in the pearls Beth had hand-sewn on it. Hundreds of glass pearls would only add to the weight. In a sense, Kate dreaded putting on the overskirt, but it would be worth it in the end.

Thoughts of dancing with her husband at such a historical event filled Kate with an abundance of joy. Their last enemy was gone for good, which meant her family was free to enjoy life to the fullest. A noise off to their left caught their attention, and she glanced over to see Shannon on her stomach in her new outfit Beth had made for her. The five-month-old squealed happily as she played with the hair brush she had managed to get her hands on.

“So, do you think I’ll be able to hook Casey up with Faye?” Kate brought up after some time of silence, “He’s shown a huge interest in her lately… Especially after what I saw this morning while I was washing my hair.”

With the possibility of hearing some good gossip, the rest of the women stopped what they had been doing to squeeze details from Kate.

“Ooh, what did you see?!” Ava leaned in from behind expectantly, practically shaking with curiosity.

A wry grin appeared on Kate’s face, and then she replied, “I saw Faye sneak out of Casey’s tent. You know what that means, right?”

“No! Did he really?!” Moira was equally shocked by her son’s actions even though Kate hadn’t actually revealed what had gone down in the tent. It was a no-brainer.

“Oh, yes. He got right into her pants… er… bloomers.”

Seeing as how Mae felt uncomfortable discussing the topic at hand, she offered another possibility of what could have happened, “Maybe they were playing Go Fish.”

“They were playing Go Fish, alright. He was busy fishing around in her woman business!” Kate threw her arms around wildly, forgetting that Ava was right behind her and made contact with her, “Sorry, Ava!”

“It’s okay, I didn’t need that eye anyway,” the strawberry blonde responded while rubbing away the stinging. 

A chime from Kate’s phone ended the women’s fun a few seconds later. Kate groaned when she saw the new text message in her inbox before she concealed the phone in her beaded reticule. The looks the other women gave her meant she had to tell them what the message said or they wouldn’t leave her alone until she did tell them.

“Gabriel wanted to know if we were going to the ball, because we’re taking too long.” She rolled her eyes in annoyance, “I swear, the next time he asks if I’m almost ready, this girl is going to twist his penis into a pretzel. Let him have fun getting that one out…”

“Men are so impatient. Rob is the same way.” Mae put the pearl overskirt on over Kate’s head and snapped it closed in the back.

The men weren’t going to be patient much longer, forcing all of the women to hurry with their jewelry and perfume to make them smell good. All four of them bustled from the tent wearing their gorgeous ball gowns, walking quickly in the direction of the suttlery where the ball was being held underneath a large tent. The pearls on Kate’s dress gleamed in the moonlight shining down on them. Not wanting to admit it, the other women thought she looked like a queen; perfect for being the general’s wife. Even her daughter was pretty enough to be a princess in her baby gown. She squealed excitedly in her mother’s arms as if knowing she was on the way to a big event.

“Looks like the men have already raided the refreshments table,” Ava pointed ahead of them at the silhouettes of the Dawson men and Sean standing underneath the tent, holding clear glasses of what looked to be punch.

Moira scoffed, “Gluttons. They’ll be too water-logged to dance if they keep drinking that stuff.”

Upon arrival at the ball a few minutes later, Kate, Mae, Moira, and Ava stood several feet behind the unsuspecting men, waiting for one of them to notice they had finally shown up after they had been griped at for being late. The men were oblivious; Casey had his eyes fixed on the lilac-colored woman across the way, standing beside her friend. Kate found the scarlet woman’s rigid posture as strange.

Forget what they say about having a stick up your a*s, Kate thought while watching the other woman’s hard glare zeroed in on Casey, She’s got a broomstick up hers. A movement out of the corner of her eye drew her attention to Casey making his way over to Faye and her friend. You better be on your best behavior, Casey, unless you want another concussion.

Mae chose that moment to jab Kate in the ribs, whispering for only her daughter-in-law to hear, “You better let your hubby know you’re here to dance. I see a woman over there with her eyes on him.”

The mention of another woman attracted to Gabriel sent a streak of jealousy through Kate, making her bristle. When Hell freezes over! Keeping her eyes on her rival, Kate handed Shannon over to Mae before making her way over to the men, “I’ll get my point across that he’s not for sale.”

“What are you-… Okay.” Mae could only stand back and watch what was about to unfold.

Silently stepping up behind Gabriel, Kate pulled the neckline of her bodice down further to make her breasts appear larger: a threat mechanism. She knew her behavior would not be appropriate for the occasion, but she didn’t care as long as she was defending what belonged to her. Gabriel’s reaction was one of shock when she ran her hands over his hips, moving them close to the area that was considered private to most people.

Just like Kate thought, Gabriel immediately turned around to see who had grabbed him so inappropriately. His expression changed upon noticing his wife leaning against him with her arms still wrapped around him. At first glance, he had trouble catching his breath, for he had never laid eyes on anything so beautiful. The delicate curls framing Kate’s face made her appear like an angel sent down from Heaven; in fact, she reminded him of Susan whenever she had been dressed for a ball. A small tear stung the corner of Gabriel’s eye, catching him off guard.

I have both of my angels still in my life even after everything that’s happened. I pray I never lose them. Gabriel quickly blinked away the tear to return his attention back to his wife, who had moved her hands up to his chest, kneading her fingers into the muscles evident underneath his shirt and vest.

Every so often Gabriel noticed Kate turn her attention to the other side of the tent where he saw another woman staring directly at the two of them. That was when he saw a change in Kate’s disposition. She had turned very clingy all of a sudden and possessive.

“Kate, are you jealous or something?” Gabriel carefully turned her head up, forcing her to look at him.

With a huff, Kate replied, “I don’t want anyone to take you away from me… and that chick hasn’t taken her eyes off of you ever since I got here.”

He felt flattered that Kate wanted him all for herself, meaning that he didn’t have to worry about another woman trying to push their way into his life. Kate was obviously very protective. “You have nothing to worry about, a stór. No one will ever draw me away from you.” To seal in the truth of his words, Gabriel tenderly pressed his lips to hers, making sure the rival woman saw the look he gave her to prove he was taken. A small chuckle escaped his lips when the woman stomped away with her nose in the air.

Kate felt like she had won another victory as she stood in Gabriel’s arms, silently gloating about being the better woman. It was at that moment that she noticed Casey pull Faye aside to talk with her. From the look of things, Kate didn’t have to help him out after all. Standing close to Faye, practically breathing down her neck was Ellen. The other woman was keeping a close eye on Casey, waiting for him to slip up. On closer inspection, Kate saw Casey playing with something small behind his back: a ring.

“Oh, buddy… you got balls.” She hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

Confused by what his wife had said Gabriel turned around to see what had gotten Kate excited. “What are you talking about?” He mentally cringed at the sight of Casey dropping to one knee in front of Faye and taking her hand in his own. “Casey, you are not the brightest crayon in the box if you’re gonna do that in front of Ellen.”

“I can’t decide if he’s incredibly brave or incredibly stupid,” Kate crossed her arms over her chest while watching the sudden marriage proposal taking place on the other side of the tent.

“YES! YES! YES!" Faye screamed as she jumped up and down, clapping her hands in excitement the moment Casey popped the question.

Almost everyone underneath the tent jumped when Faye gave her answer to Casey’s question. Even Ellen was covering her ears while rolling her eyes in annoyance. Shocking as it was, she was relatively calm despite how she felt about Casey. Once Faye had regained her composure, Ellen pulled Casey away to give him a warning.

“I’m giving you a fair warning, Casey,” Ellen’s eyes stayed fixed on Casey as she spoke, “You ever break Faye’s heart, I will break you.”

“I don’t intend to break her heart. You have me word,” Casey replied, holding onto Faye’s hand after he had pulled her over beside him. Every so often he would glance over to see her expression.

The sound of the band tuning their instruments at the front of the tent told the large group of people the Grand March was about to begin. All of the couples, including Casey and his new fiancée, formed into a long line, awaiting the dance master’s instructions. Seeing Ellen turn down several offers to dance, Seamus decided to take his chances, and approached the scarlet woman. He wasn’t expecting to have much luck, but it was worth a shot anyways.

“Will you join me for this one dance, Ellen? I hate seeing you over here by yourself,” Seamus stood in front of Ellen, allowing her enough room to walk away if she wanted to.

“I’m not alone. I have Tobi to keep me company.” She was stunned to find the space behind her where Tobi had been a few minutes before void of Tobi’s presence. Of course he disappears when he’s needed the most. “Well, I guess I don’t have a choice but to dance with you now that my wingman or wingwoman or wing- whatever he is has left me.” Ellen allowed Seamus to lead her to the line-up. Besides, would one dance really kill her?

During the Grand March Ellen noticed her gay friend strolling along the outskirts of the tent holding hands with an unfamiliar blonde-haired man who looked to be in his mid-twenties. Both of the men giggled about something and never paid attention or noticed Ellen watching them. That explained where he had disappeared to. All Ellen could do was smile at the sight.

“You look really beautiful tonight, Miss Ellen.” Seamus broke the silence in the middle of the opening dance. “The color of your dress brightens your eyes.”

“Thank you, Seamus.” Ellen actually blushed at his compliment.

Before long, the Grand March ended with the men leading the women back to where they had found them. As soon as Seamus walked away from Ellen another man stepped up to the woman, who immediately turned him down. Just because she allowed Seamus to dance with her didn’t mean she would let any other man dance with her. The change of her attitude went unnoticed by Faye standing beside Casey near Gabriel and Kate.

Great. Time for another lecture. Why can’t Faye just accept the fact that I don’t like being around men? Ellen rolled her eyes at her approaching friend. Little did she know that her night was about to turn sour.

 Faye walked towards Ellen after she greeted Seamus walking in the opposite direction. She was confused; one moment Ellen was telling her that she had no interest in men whatsoever and the next she was dancing with a guy. She didn’t understand her. “Ellen?”

“What is it, Faye?” Ellen asked, her voice showing annoyance; she was getting tired of Faye’s constant nagging about how she couldn’t stay single forever.

“What’s up with you and Seamus?” Faye answered a question with a question.

“Nothing.” Ellen responded with a huff, “He just didn’t want me to feel left out, that’s all.”

“Are you sure? It looked very different to me.”

Typical of Faye to ruin my night by bringing this up. Ellen sighed before she replied, “Faye, I don’t want to talk about this right now…”

“Well, I think we need to.” Faye insisted, “You can’t keep on running away for the rest of your life.”

Ellen felt emotions rise up from long ago. Memories stung at her mind, making her heart clench in her chest and fear rise up in her throat. There were things that she wasn’t about to talk about with anyone �" and what Faye wanted to know so badly was one of them. She feared the judgment that others would cast on her. No one cared enough back then, so why would they care all of a sudden? Ellen had her own secrets to keep, secrets that no one, not even Faye, was going to find out about it. 

Faye waited for a response. As the seconds stretched into minutes she realized she may not have gone about the conversation the right way. She could see emotion rise into her friend’s eyes in a way she’d never seen before. Ellen was not the type to just break down. If she was reacting that way after she had brought up the question, then she’d struck a nerve. It came to Faye’s mind that whatever caused Ellen to hate men it was probably something serious and personal and certainly none of her business. She’d do anything to go back and kick herself for not thinking her questions through. “Ellen, I’m �". ”

“Forget it, Faye.” Ellen said, her voice stained with emotion, “Just forget it.”

And with that the scarlet woman stormed off from the ball, her mind a whirlwind of emotion and her heart aching with the burden she’d been carrying for such a long time. What Ellen didn’t know, however, was that with those three little words, another soul had been affected indirectly by her past.

 In the case of Faye, it broke her heart knowing that she’d never break through her friend’s hard outer shell since she had just thrown more wood onto the fire. Watching her go, she wondered if Ellen would ever forgive her for not realizing her mistakes sooner…

e got right into

Seamus stepped out from the large tent into the cool night air, needing to get away from the company for a little while. It was truly a beautiful night. The moon bathed everything in ghostly white light, giving the night that mystical feel to it. After a while of enjoying the night air, however, he heard the sound of a woman crying nearby. Concerned, Seamus tried to find the source of the sound. When he did, it was a sight that both surprised and made him even more concerned.

Ellen was seated on the ground a little ways off from the ball tent, her back against the wall of the Coon River Mercantile tent behind her. She had brought her knees up to her chest and her face was covered by her hands. Her body rocked with heart-wrenching sobs.

Seamus felt like his own heart would break at the sight of her in such a state. He wondered what could’ve happened to make her break down like that, “Ellen?”

Ellen looked up, embarrassed to be caught in that condition. She had been in an argument with Faye moments before, so she had decided to go off on her own for a while, “It’s nothing. I-I’m fine.”

Seamus could see through that by a mile. He knew that something had to be seriously wrong to cause her to be as distraught as she was. Sitting down next to her, he said, “You know that I don’t believe that any more than you do. What happened?”

Ellen averted her eyes from him. Tears were still pouring down her face, and she whimpered softly. She never wanted to be caught in her weakest state. She knew that people would ask if they found her sobbing for an unknown reason, and she had never willingly spoken about her troubles before, “Faye and I g-got into an argument.”

Seamus gently �" but firmly �" took a hold of her arm.  Ellen looked at him, startled by his bold action. His eyes were serious as he spoke, “Ellen, you and I both know that it’s more serious than that. I can tell that this is something you need to talk about. Now please, tell me the truth.”

Ellen looked down. Another sob escaped her. A mixture of fear and dread of what was to come filled her. Seamus let go of her arm, hoping he wasn’t too harsh on her. But he had to do something. He knew whatever it must have been was eating her up on the inside and would probably drive her into doing something stupid. That was something that should be avoided at all costs. 

Ellen sighed, then reached up to the side of her neck to pull the mesh material at the neckline of her dress down and bared her right shoulder to him. Seamus’s eyes widened in shock as he realized what she was showing him: a seven inch scar ran across the joint between her neck and shoulder. There was no uncertainty how it got there; a scar left over from a stab wound was easily recognized.

“Skin heals, but your soul never does after something like this,” Ellen closed her eyes and was silent for a while.

Seamus said nothing, waiting for her to speak. He was deeply shocked by the sight of the scar. It was evident that it was connected to a deeply traumatic event earlier on in Ellen’s life. Possibly more than one. It also explained why he never once saw any of her skin below her neck whenever he had seen her in the past. With a spark of anger, he wondered who in their right mind would’ve harmed her in such a fashion.

Ellen opened her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she should tell him the rest of the story. Her mind was telling her to be sensible, that he wasn’t worth trusting. But her heart told her something else entirely. It was at that moment that she decided to take a chance and open up her heart, “My father died when I was seven… He was out for a drive… The bridge flooded.”

Seamus felt the fading shock from seeing her scar come back to him in a newer, fresher wave, “Ellen, I…”

“I know.” She sighed again, “Don’t feel too sorry for me. It was his time.”

It was silent for a few moments.

Then Ellen went on, “My mother remarried a few years later. I was thirteen at the time. He seemed nice enough. It seemed that we at least now had someone to watch over the family, again. Mom loved him, she really did. I was really happy for them. It was not until I was sixteen that things started to go wrong.”

Seamus listened intently, but he had a sick feeling that he knew where her story was headed.

“He lost his job,” Ellen lowered her eyes, “He told Mom he was looking for work, but he never got back up on his feet after that. He started drinking, too. Got into some serious scraps with the police. We barely got on back then. Mom had to take up work so that we could get the bills paid and food on the table. It got worse as time went on. He was rarely home, and I’m quite certain he was cheating on Mom. I asked why she never did anything about it, but she said there wasn’t any real proof.”

Tears started flowing again as she fell silent. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Seamus tried to give what comfort he could. He had no idea she went through such a terrible childhood. If only there was something more he could do.

“And then…” She bit her lip, “He started to become abusive. I spent as much time away from the house as I could. Staying over at friends and stuff like that. He never seemed to really care about what happened to me. The final straw came a month after I turned seventeen,” she was sobbing full out by that point, “I-I got home late and he…he was drunk. Mom was working late. I thought he was asleep…and h-he…” She was unable to continue due to her hysterical sobbing.

Seamus didn’t need words to know what happened next �" it was clear that her stepfather had done unspeakable things that night...and that he was responsible for the scar. Pulling her into a hug, he rubbed her back soothingly and felt his shirt get soaked through with Ellen’s tears. Anger flooded him to the point where he could honestly say he hated the man who harmed her. No one had the right to do such a heinous crime to someone else, “Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be all right. He can’t hurt you now,” he pushed a strand of her hair out of her face as he spoke in the most comforting tone he could manage, rocking her gently.

 After all that had been said that night, he couldn’t blame Ellen for being so distant towards men. It was her way of protecting herself from ever going through a repeat episode.

Suddenly, a sense of determination filled him. Having understood the why behind her behavior, he was going to try and help her move on with her life, to bury the pain and to help her let her guard back down. No matter what it took, he would be there for her. Years later, when he looked back on the moment spent with Ellen, he would know that it had been the best decision he ever could’ve made.

Without telling anyone where he was going, Seamus led Ellen through the darkness toward his camp, sensing that she needed to be around someone who was willing to listen to her and let her vent her frustrations. Seamus was just that person. With a smile on his face, he looked up to the heavens, silently thanking the Creator for the opportunity to be a vessel for Ellen; the stars seemed to have shone brighter than ever before that night…

 

After arriving at the cavalry campsite, Seamus watched as Ellen walked aimlessly around the camp as if she was disoriented by her surroundings, or possibly that her mind was fogged over from reliving her past. Before long, he stepped up behind her, placing his hands lightly on her shoulders. The sudden touch didn’t cause her to jump, and she glanced back at him to see his expression. He was looking at her with concern in his eyes and seemed as if he wanted to say something, but she was unsure if she wanted to listen; everything was happening too quickly for her to process.

A few minutes later, he decided to give her some time alone, and disappeared inside of his tent. When he entered, Tutu poked her head up from where she lay curled up in her bed, and wagged her tail in greeting. He bent over to scratch between the little dog’s ears before sitting down on his cot and removing his boots. The vest and suspenders were the next items to be shed. Afterwards, Seamus fell back on the cot with his hands behind his head, gazing up at the tent’s brace beam, his mind wandering in different directions. It wasn’t long before the tent flaps opened and Ellen stepped in, the black tear stains still underneath her eyes from her earlier breakdown.

“May I come in?” She asked, unsure of what he would say.

He looked over at her, and then sat up, “I don’t mind,” the way she stood there by the doorway made him think there was another reason for her wanting to be in his tent, “Is something wrong, Ellen?”

 Hitching the bottom of her dress up, she hurried over to him and threw her arms around his middle after falling to her knees beside his cot, “Can I stay with you tonight, Seamus?”

Wanting her to feel safe, Seamus held her against him, “Of course,” he noticed the stains underneath her eyes, and got up from the cot to get a wash cloth and his canteen. After sitting back down, he got the wash cloth wet before gently wiping away the black marks, “There…that looks better.”

Ellen yawned, surprising herself, feeling comfortable with him being near to her, “I didn’t realize how tired I was.”

“You should get some rest.”

While Ellen removed her crinoline, Seamus made a pallet on the ground with some quilts and gave her a pillow to sleep on. The entire time he was getting her bed ready, Tutu watched him curiously as if she didn’t understand why he was putting stuff on the ground near her bed. Once her bed was ready, Ellen curled up on the pallet, pulling a light-weight blanket over her legs. She looked down to her stomach when she felt Tutu lay down against her like she sensed how the woman was feeling. Seamus smiled at the sight, and then went back to his cot to get some sleep after taking off his shirt and trousers. The last sound to register in his mind was that of Ellen’s breathing as she slept on the other side of the tent.

 

A blood-curdling scream pierced the night air, causing Seamus to jolt to a sitting position on the cot, but not before grabbing his bowie knife from underneath his pillow. He shifted his eyes around the tent until they fell on Ellen, who was sitting up on the pallet with tears pouring down her cheeks and her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. Her scream had scared Tutu so bad that she dove under Seamus’s cot and hid there. Seeing the state that Ellen was in, Seamus set the knife down and ran over to her, dropping to his knees in front of her and pulling her against his bare chest. She continued to sob into his chest while he held her tightly, his hand on the side of her head as he rocked her gently.

“Shh… Shh, everything is okay… You’re safe, Ellen,” he said to her in the most soothing voice he could muster.

Outside, several of the cavalry members poked their heads out of their tents to see where the screaming had come from. Even Gabriel had come out of his tent, wearing just his pajama bottoms. He noticed that the only person not looking around was Seamus, which meant the scream had come from his tent.

“Seamus,” Gabriel stuck his head inside of his brother’s tent and found him cradling Ellen, who had started crying uncontrollably, “What’s going on? Is she hurt?”

Seamus glanced up at him and answered, “Everything is fine. She just had a nightmare, is all.”

“Okay, I was just checking, because pretty much the entire camp is now awake and concerned,” Gabriel disappeared after confirming that Seamus had everything under control in his tent.

Seamus sat down on the quilts and wiped away her tears with his thumb, feeling his heart ache for her. There was no need to ask her what the nightmare had been about; he knew that her past had just shown its ugly face to her. By then, her crying had dwindled with just a few tears rolling down her cheeks, but she still held on to him. Thinking she’d relax if she was lying beside him, Seamus pulled her down with him, resting her head on his chest.

 “Nothing will ever hurt you, again… Not while I’m here,” Seamus tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and noticed that her body was covered in sweat, most likely from her nightmare. “You’re burning up, Ellen. Let’s get these ridiculous clothes off of you.”

She allowed him to unlace the bodice of her dress and take it off, including her skirt; however, when he started to take her corset and chemise off, Ellen crossed her arm over her chest and shook her head, “No… I don’t want you to see me.”

Seamus thought she was being a little absurd. He had no intention of doing anything physical with her, and yet, she still acted as if she didn’t trust him completely.

“Ellen… please. Trust me,” he gazed at her, his eyes pleading for her to understand that he wanted to comfort her.

After a few silent moments, she relaxed her arm and let him remove her confining corset and toss it to the side. She closed her eyes, waiting for his reaction when he took off her chemise and saw what lay hidden by the white fabric.

Seamus stared wide-eyed at the jagged scar running from her right armpit where the other scar stopped and all the way across her chest and over the top of her left breast. That scar was worse than the one on her neck. Anger flooded his mind once more at the sight of her mutilated body. What kind of sadistic b*****d would do this to a defenseless woman? “Oh, my God.  I can’t stand the thought of this happening to you any longer. You need to feel protected, and that’s why I’m here.”

Relief washed over Ellen when she realized that he truly cared for her and wasn’t repulsed by her imperfections. That gave her the reassurance to trust him. For once in her life, a man respected her for who she was, and she was finally ready to let go of her old ways and love again.

“The last time a man has seen this much of my skin was the night I received these hideous scars,” Ellen cast her eyes away from his and started to pull a quilt over her chest to hide her scars, but he placed his hand over hers, stopping her.

“Don’t hide anymore,” Seamus stroked his fingertips over her scars, feeling the raised flesh under his touch, “Everyone has their imperfections, but to me, you’re perfect in every way possible.”

The talk of imperfections made Ellen remember the injury Seamus received that afternoon during the battle. She never told him what to do once it had healed. “Speaking of scars, leave those stitches in for two weeks or more before taking them out. Then again, have someone else take them out so you don’t pass out like you did today.”

“I definitely don’t need anyone groping my balls to get me up, so I’ll make sure I get someone to do it for me.”

Can’t he just forget about me doing that? Ellen found herself running her fingertips over the puckered skin held together by the black stitches, and sighed heavily; his perfect body had been marred for good, “You’re just like me now, no longer perfect.”

He could tell by the way she stared at his wound that she was saddened by what had happened to him. “This is just one, tiny flaw. There are others more serious that I don’t like people to know about.”

She became curious, and pushed herself up to her elbows in order to look down at him, “Like what?”

One corner of his mouth turned up in a crooked smile, and he sighed, “I’m thirty-years-old, and I’m a virgin. Talk about embarrassing. If Casey ever found out… Okay, I don’t even want to think about that,” he pushed the image of his cousin rolling on the ground in hysterics out of his mind.

“Then let’s not give him a reason to laugh if he ever did find out,” when Ellen saw him give her a strange look, she rolled her eyes and leaned down to him, hesitantly touching her lips to his. For a moment she tested her own limits, unsure if she should continue. The warmth of his breath on her lips made the decision for her, shown by the way she forced his lips apart, allowing both of their lips to mold around each others.

The sudden show of affection took Seamus by surprise, and he pulled away from her, his face a bright shade of red, “What-.”

“Relax, will ya. It’s just like dancing. I’ll lead!”

He could feel his hands shaking from sheer nervousness; she had thrown his plan of not letting their night turn into anything physical out the bloody window, “But in dancing, the men are supposed to lead…”

“Just shut up and kiss me!” She rolled over onto her back, pulling him down to her.

The nightmare was forgotten as the two of them kissed deeply. Ellen tangled her fingers in his hair and ran the tip of her tongue along the edge of his lips, making him part them ever so slightly, but it was enough to allow her to slip her tongue inside. That was all he needed to know that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Needing to show Ellen just how much he adored her the way she was, he broke their kiss and dropped his head down to her chest, grazing his lips over each of her scars, kissing them tenderly.

 At that moment in time, she thought her heart would melt from happiness; her soul healer had been found at last. Her need to see her mate in his true form drove her senses crazy, so she gripped the waistband of his boxers in her hands before sliding them off his body. Sure enough, he was ready for her. Her body felt as if she had butterflies fluttering all around it when she saw the veins wrapping around his surprisingly large manhood like a bunch of vines climbing up a pole.  After pulling a quilt over the two of them, Ellen kept her gaze on Seamus’s eyes and gently ran her hand up the inside of his leg until she felt his erection against her fingertips. She surprised him once more when she wrapped her hand around it, and slowly moved it along the shaft.

Damn, why did she have to do that? Seamus fought the urge to drive himself into her, and he proved to be faithful long enough for him to free her from her pantalettes and panties, but it lasted only momentarily.

“Seamus… I’m yours,” Ellen drew his attention to her, gazing longingly at him with her dark cobalt eyes.

He didn’t need to hear anything else. Without waiting a second longer, Seamus eased the thick head of his erection between her wet nether lips, pausing to see how she reacted to the new sensation. Clearly, she wanted him to proceed by the way she breathed heavily, her hands gripping onto his broad shoulders. Letting out a breath of air, he pushed his erection all the way inside of her up to the hilt, and let out a groan of pleasure when he felt her hot passage mold around him for a perfect fit. He didn’t even care if anyone heard him; he was going to enjoy his night with Ellen even if it meant announcing it to the entire cavalry camp. After pressing his toned abdominals to her belly, he slowly rocked his hips, making his erection slide along her walls to give both of them pleasure.

Ellen bit her lip, as she was enjoying the moment greatly, but she was curious as to how much she could handle, “Can you make it a little harder, Shay?”

“Nope. I’m going to make this last as long as possible,” he wanted to feel every inch of her skin on his and was not about to rush things.

The minutes ticked by, and Ellen felt herself growing more and more sensitive to his touch, especially when he rubbed his fingertips over her erect n*****s; it sent a jolt throughout her body.  During their slow lovemaking, she continued to kiss Seamus with him returning them in kind. To make their time together more interesting, Seamus had an idea pop into his head, and he pulled out briefly until he found a comfortable position sitting on the pallet. Once he was settled, Ellen stepped over his hips, placing one leg on either side, and then dropped down to her knees. He set his hands on her hips at the same time she draped her arms over his shoulders while facing him; she had a feeling in her stomach she knew where this was headed. Seamus inhaled her intoxicating scent of sage and lavender while he tried his hardest to keep himself from slamming his member into her. 

Ellen could feel the tip of his erection touch her soaked nether lips, sending her heart racing, again. Closing his eyes as he kissed her sweetly, he entered her, moaning even louder than he had before since the new position enabled an entirely different sensation. While he thrust his hips against her, his thumb found the small bud of flesh between her legs, and he gently rubbed it in tiny circles. At the extremely intense feeling, Ellen fought the urge to scream out, and to help her, she buried her face in his neck and clung to him as her body was rocked against him. A warm sensation ran down the inside of her leg, and she noted it to be her own arousal.

Growing tired of the new position, the two of them switched back to Ellen lying down without him pulling out of her, which proved to be rather tricky since it involved him having to support her with one arm. Holy crap, she’s heavy! It must be those tree trunk thighs she has… I better not let her know that. They’re more muscular than my own!

After what seemed like an eternity, Ellen felt an explosion of intense feeling overwhelm her, leaving her crying out her pleasure loud enough for anyone in a mile radius to hear her while she raked her nails up his back. Her exultation was enough to give him new energy to finish what they had started. Focusing on his impending orgasm, he pulled her body closer to his and thrust his hips a little harder. It didn’t take long for him to reach the point of release.

“I’m about to come, Ellen…” his own orgasm just about knocked the breath out of him, and he moaned out loud while holding himself in her.

Ellen savored the feeling of his erection jerking inside her as it emptied his juices into her womb. As soon as the feelings died away, Seamus collapsed on top of her, resting his cheek against her chest. She kissed the top of his head while running her fingers through his damp hair, feeling the ridges of his fishtail braids wrapping around his head. Eventually, their breathing returned to normal as they lay there on the quilts, completely exhausted. After removing his softened member from her, Seamus relaxed on his side and pulled her against him, her back pressed against his stomach. His arms stayed wrapped tightly around her, and he smiled when he felt her lace her fingers with his.

Only God knows what the future holds for us, but right now I have my future next to me, and nothing is going to change that, Seamus closed his eyes, feeling sleep overtake him. He would deal with the others the next morning, knowing they would have something to say about what went down in his tent, but right then he wanted to be with his Ellen.

 

Seamus opened his eyes early the next morning to find Ellen still sleeping, cuddled up against him with her legs between his. He smiled at the memories of the previous night; he couldn’t believe that she had trusted him enough to start a relationship with him. Never had he been any happier.

His smile only grew when her eyes slowly opened, still hazed over from her sleep. Ellen blinked, confused for a moment as to where she was. Then she, too, smiled as she remembered, “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Seamus returned with a chuckle, “Sleep well?”

 Ellen nodded, then noticed the odd sensation of something soft and warm pushing against her thigh �" and she didn’t have to peek under the blankets to guess what it was, “The hell?!”

“It’s morning,” Seamus explained, “That’s when I’m at my worst.”

“And you couldn’t tell me this last night?” Ellen sat up.

“We were a both a little bit more than preoccupied last night, Ellen,” Seamus said, watching her get up, “Why don’t you get dressed, and I will focus on getting myself to calm down.”

Ellen nodded and went over to where her clothes were.

Seamus closed his eyes and tried to get himself calmed down. 

Twenty seconds later, she broke the silence again. “Uh, Seamus? Can you give me a hand here?”

Seamus opened his eyes to see Ellen standing with her back to him, her corset stays still loose. “Sure.” He got up and went over to help her. At first he truly attempted to help her get laced up, but the smooth appearance of her skin peeking out from the top of her chemise caught his attention before long. Wrapping his arm around her, he started planting kisses on her collarbone.

“Seamus…” Ellen said it as if to attempt to stop him, but showed no signs of trying to do so. Instead, she melted against him, enjoying the attention he was giving her.

Seamus smiled as he started testing her limits, his hand wandering lower with every passing second, seeking out his prize. Ellen made no protests, even as his hand hovered dangerously low. Finally realizing that she wasn’t going to push him away, Seamus felt free to seek out the sensitive bud of flesh between her legs, earning a soft whimper from her in return. Getting to work on her, he grinned as she spread her legs further apart to grant him further access.  But eventually, he lost interest in just rubbing her, and dared to push a finger inside of her depths. Ellen moaned out her pleasure. After a few minutes of moving his finger in and out of her, Seamus spoke up. “Maybe we should get more comfortable for this?”

Ellen nodded her response, not trusting herself to speak. Her mind told her she wouldn’t be able to handle anymore of him and that she was sore enough as it was, while her body told her to go for it.

Seamus pulled his finger out of her and he guided her back to the pallet of blankets they slept on the previous night. Ellen sat down, pulling him down with her before lying down and pulling him over on top of her as he covered her lips with his in a passionate kiss.

Ellen melted into the kiss, throwing the last bit of caution out the window. After all, did she really still care about watching herself with men, even after the previous night? Faye was right after all �" she couldn’t keep away from men all her life. It had been bound to happen sooner or later. Whoa, talk about irony.

To remind her that he only had the best intentions and put her feelings above all else, Seamus made a point to kiss each of her scars again as soon as he got her upper half bare once more. It still shocked him that anyone would do something so atrocious to her. The most important thing is that she feels safe with me, because I can never undo what happened to her in the past. I want her to be able to trust me.

Ellen felt tears rise to her eyes at his considering her feelings above all else. It was just so surreal that he cared so much about her.

Noticing the tears, Seamus reached up to wipe one away. “You okay?”

Ellen nodded.

“Good,” Seamus continued, “I want nothing more than you to be happy. It shocks me that something like this,” he ran his fingers over one of her scars for emphasis, “could happen to a good, strong woman like yourself. I can’t see why anyone would want to hurt you. Now dry up those tears. I love you too much to see you hurt like this.”

Ellen’s eyes widened in brief shock as she took in his words. He loves me? As she looked into his eyes and noted the pure emotion in them as he waited for her to respond, she knew there was only one thing she could say in return. Four little words never seemed so big, yet so right to her than at that moment. “I love you too.”

Seamus felt himself grin at her words, and Ellen giggled at his silly expression. “Be careful, your face may get stuck that way!”

Shocking as it was, Seamus was the only one capable of turning a broken down soul into someone who could start over with their life and forget their past troubles. Ellen was positive nothing would get in the way of their new relationship, not even her hatred toward men. While she had been lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice when Seamus moved down to her lower body ever so silently and began pressing kisses to the inside of her thighs. He guided his lips from the bend of her knee all of the way up to the point where her leg joined with the rest of her body. A slickness had already formed between the folds of her nether lips, which only caused his own arousal to grow; there was no use trying to calm himself down when it was obvious that both of them had no intention of leaving the tent any time soon. Curiosity ran through Seamus’s veins at the sight of Ellen’s arousal, and after carefully separating her wet lips with his fingers, he softly teased the small bundle of nerves at the junction of her inner lips with the tip of his tongue. There was a faint sweetness to her juices he realized once more of it flowed over his taste buds, gaining a moan of pleasure from him to show her how much he enjoyed it.

Ellen’s hands found the pillow to the side of her and she bit down on a corner to quell her need to scream out everything she felt at that moment. She had never felt anything so wonderful in her life and would give anything to stay right where she lay and let Seamus do whatever he pleased with her. Most of his attention was put on the area directly around the bud of flesh as her sudden jolts told him that it was too sensitive for direct contact, most likely from the night before. My mind keeps telling me to kick him away from me, but my heart tells me to let him do whatever he wishes. He said he loves me, and I must show him that I love him.

Afraid that Ellen might jump through the top of the tent if he kept touching that particular area, Seamus put himself between her spread legs, already rubbing the thick shaft of his erection against her wet vulva to prolong her wait. His efforts only made her wetter, which would help him enter her more easily, but it wouldn’t be enough. Seamus had heard from Casey, not by choice, how tight a woman tended to be in the morning hours. I still don’t think it will compare to Casey’s finger stuck in that door. Wood doesn’t have any give, but her… He glanced up to see Ellen’s chest rise and fall heavily as she writhed around on the quilts in response to his ministrations.

“I’m blessed that I made the decision to leave Ireland to seek out my family,” he leaned over her body while keeping the flared tip of his member against her nether regions, and held his lips within inches of hers. Goosebumps formed on his shoulders when she skimmed her fingertips over them ever so lightly. “It allowed me to put myself in between you and Casey that day in Jefferson. I don’t regret breaking up your little tiff. Not at all.”

A smile broke out on Ellen’s face at his heartwarming words; in a way she was glad his cousin had called her a w***e. If it wasn’t for him, then she would never have punched Seamus in the chest, thus igniting their admiration for each other. Damn you, Casey. “I don’t either, Seamus.”

Voices carried on outside of the tent, announcing that the camp was getting ready for something. Most likely some of them were leaving to explore the battlefield while others went to spend time browsing around the suttlery. At least that left Seamus and Ellen a little more time together before they would have to go down to watch the recreation of Pickett’s Charge with the rest of them. Perhaps Ellen would want to catch a ride down with him. Never mind that, Ellen was waiting for him to continue what he had started.

Just once more to start off our day. Moving Ellen’s legs so that the tops of her thighs were pressed against her chest, Seamus eased the tip of his throbbing erection into her soaked opening, experiencing a tightening just below the ridge. He wasn’t expecting it to be that tight, nor was he expecting Ellen to suddenly let out a squeal upon his erection entering her.

“Shh. Keep it down so the others don’t hear…” The thought of the others hearing them making love further aroused Seamus, causing him to want to show them that he was capable of giving a woman like Ellen a wonderful time even though he was new to the experience, “Oh, bloody hell! Just scream, scream for the whole rebel camp to hear. I don’t even care if those vile Yankees hear you!” Not being able to contain himself any longer, Seamus pushed his hips forward sharply, sending his member through her tight walls where it finally bottomed out against the back wall of her vagina. A grin of satisfaction crossed his face at the sound of Ellen’s moaning growing louder with every thrust until she was screaming her joy and digging her nails into the skin over his shoulder blades.

“Come on, Seamus! I know you can make it harder,” Ellen growled in her lover’s ear. “Now, shove that gorgeous c**k in me like I know you want to!”

Gripping onto her hip bones for more stability, Seamus drove himself deeper into her depths, feeling her tight walls release their hold on him. By then, his own groans of ecstasy had joined in with hers, and he was happy to announce to Ellen how he felt. A strange feeling brought his attention down to his groin where he saw a large wet area caused by her nectar splashing onto him from whenever he pounded into her, and he knew it would only get worse the longer he kept up his steady rhythm. At that moment, Seamus’s feral side took over all other respectable sides of him, shown by the way he flipped Ellen over onto her stomach after pulling out momentarily and got her into position to take her from behind like every man should.

Ellen completely forgot about being sore from the previous night while she lay with her most private parts at the mercy of Seamus and whatever he would do to her; hopefully that would be making her plentiful juices bathe his lap as a reward. A small amount of those juices dripped down the inside of her thighs once he had replaced his erection into her depths to bring her to climax once again. “Seamus, if you hadn’t told me that you had been a virgin before last night, I never would have thought that by the way you make love so forcefully now… I love it.”

“Wonderful, Ellie,” Seamus said, keeping up a rough movement to bring about her orgasm. Even his own was nearing, but not fast enough. Come on, my love. Show me just how much you love me. He brought his hand around in front of her hips to feel for the one part of her body that, when touched, would send her overboard and deliver to him his prize. “Give it to me, a mhuirnín… Please.”

His touch on her swollen clitoris sent a powerful spasm coursing up her spine. No longer could she hold back the intense feeling, and with a sound that was part yelp and part cry, she released a torrent of her nectar onto his waiting loins. The intensity of her orgasm caused her to collapse in a heap on the pallet of quilts at the very moment Seamus had hit his own climax. Despite the diminishing remnants of her orgasm, she could feel the thickness of his seed fill the opening of her womanly passage before it ran down between her nether lips and onto the quilts. It was too late to worry about him pulling out in time.

All worrying was forgotten when Seamus nuzzled her sweaty cheek affectionately and said, “Shall I help you get your dress on… for real?” A nod was the only thing he received from Ellen in reply, telling him that she would need a lot of help getting dressed.

Seamus watched Ellen intently as she shimmied into her chemise and pantalettes after forcing herself to stand, wondering how anyone was able to maneuver in such strange clothing. At first, he thought she hadn’t bothered to put undergarments on underneath the revealing bloomers; however, when she bent over to pick up her white satin corset, he could see a hint of dark blue peeking out from the large slits in the pantalettes. His eyes followed her every move when she wrapped the contraption around her middle and snapped the busk closed in the front. That was his signal to start helping her; he took the top pair of stays in his hands to begin the tedious process of cinching her waist in. Pluck, pull, pluck, pull… down the top half of the corset until he reached the second set of stays, and then he started over from the bottom up to meet the top pair of stays. Slowly, centimeter by centimeter, Ellen’s waist shrank. It was a wonder she could still breathe with her insides being compressed.

“I never thanked you for rescuing Faye and I yesterday when those damned Yankees ran off with us.” Ellen broke the silence in the tent after a few minutes, glancing back over her shoulder to see Seamus biting his lip in concentration.

“Do you really think I was going to stand around and do nothing?” Seamus had finished pulling on the stays and tied the two sets together before tucking them underneath one of the lacings to get them out of her way.

A look of regret fell upon the scarlet woman’s face once she turned around to pick up the steel gray and black material of her ball gown skirt, “I never expected a man to do that, especially after how awful I have treated them in the past.”

“Ellen, it takes the right person to look past another’s flaws. By no means am I perfect, as I told you last night, but apparently you saw past that even with your anti-male ways.”

While keeping her attention on Seamus, Ellen hastily slipped on her crinoline, petticoats, skirt, and the bodice of her ball gown. A sigh escaped her when Seamus immediately started lacing up the bodice without her asking him for help. Oh, Faye… He willingly takes up your job when it is not his place. He shouldn’t be burdened with this task when we aren’t married. The second she returned to her own tent she would don her long-sleeved matching jacket to make her dress appropriate to wear during the day, as was proper in the Civil War era. No longer did she need to worry about concealing her scars from anyone; to her, they were a badge of a long war she had overcome with the guidance of an unlikely person… a man.

“Do you want me to meet you back here, Seamus? I just need to go get my jacket and parasol… Oh! I should probably bring Faye and Tobi along once I apologize to Faye for fighting with her.”

“Whatever you feel like. I will be right here,” Seamus had already started dressing in his uniform after Ellen had been laced up.

 

The rest of the Dawson men stood around underneath the fly of Gabriel’s tent, a few of them working on their second or third cups of coffee of the morning. None of them had a reason to be busy with the horses, and definitely didn’t have the need or desire to join their women shopping. Seamus stepped out of his tent with Ellen having left a few minutes prior… and hopefully without being noticed. However, he was quick to realize that it didn’t matter whether she had been seen or not.

“Hey Shay, do you think you two could’ve been any louder last night?” Casey smirked, noticing that his cousin had finally made an appearance.

 Seamus felt himself blush at the comment, “You heard?”

“Us, and the entirety of the Confederate cavalry camp,” Gabriel answered for Casey, showing signs of amusement.

Seamus sighed. “Well, so much for keeping it to ourselves.”

“I’m gonna have a hard time getting the images out of me mind, let alone get some actual sleep after that,” Casey said.

“Shut it, Casey.” Seamus snapped at his cousin, “I’d like to see if you did better on the first go!”

“That was your first?” Casey’s eyes widened in amusement as he tried to hide the laugh that almost escaped, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Great job, Seamus. Now he’ll never shut up about it! Seamus gave himself a mental kick. He was not looking forward to the months of teasing that was sure to follow. “You’re gonna keep quiet about that!”

“Or what?” Casey taunted. Oh, the situation was too good for him to simply shut up. “You gonna make me?”

“Casey,” Gabriel’s tone held a mild warning. He had wisely stepped out of the conversation and was watching out for danger signs. The last thing he needed was for the two of them to get into a fight.

“C’mon on Gabe, I’m just messing around. ‘Sides, who knew Ellen was that type, considering how she hates men.”

“Excuse me?”

Seamus grinned as he noticed who was standing behind Casey, “I think you’d better start hauling a*s, Casey.”

“What? Who’s behind me?”

As soon as Casey turned he was met with a powerful blow to the jaw, causing him to stumble back a little. As his hand went up to where he was sure a bruise was going to develop, his eyes met Ellen’s. “You don’t know anything about my ‘type’. My type is the sort you do not wanna mess with!” And with that she turned on her heels and started in the opposite direction.

 Casey turned to see his cousins in hysterics.

“Next time you decide to insult her, Casey, make sure she isn’t in earshot!” Seamus managed to get out.

Thinking Ellen had disappeared, Casey grumbled more so to himself than to Gabriel and Seamus, but it was still audible, “Maybe he outta nail her again so she’s not so uptight every waking moment…” The next second he had his face buried in the grass after taking a large chunk of firewood to the back of the head. I hate that woman… I hate that woman so much. Stars formed behind his eyelids once again while he was still on the ground, and when he could see straight he found a metal canteen out in front of him. Hit again! “I didn’t even say anything that time, you psychotic b***h!”

“That was for a future date when you will say something!” Ellen called back before stalking away toward her own campsite.

I’d like to see what she can do with a gun or knife… but make sure Casey is far away from her beforehand. Seamus’s gaze followed her retreating form as he thought about how great her aim was.

Having a few hours before the big finale of Pickett’s Charge, and to pull everyone’s mind away from what had disrupted the camp’s sleep the night before, Gabriel and the other men decided to take the time to walk around through the other camps to see what they had missed out on during the crazy events of the past week. They discovered that the other camps were quite expansive, covering a huge area of land surrounding their area in the tree line. Gabriel found himself daydreaming once again, only he actually felt like he had been transported back to the summer of 1863 in the middle of one of the biggest battles of the Civil War. He was awestruck; he was living his dream at last.