my nightmare are coming true

my nightmare are coming true

A Poem by victoria

my night mares are coming true..

my nightmares are coming true
once again we are finally through
you tore open my heart
and you tared me apart

my nightmares are comeing true
you fell in love with a girl or two
but not me, for im not new
you seem to not have a clue
bout how much pain you have put me through

my nightmare are coming true 
once again we are finally through
you tore open my heart
and you tare me apart
my night mare have come true.. 

© 2011 victoria


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Reviews

The rhythm and rhyme add to the message of the piece, and once again, a beautifully sad poem!

Posted 12 Years Ago


i loved it!! so much feeling and emotion!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


good but tared should be changed to tore you could also change tore but only if you want to
in the last one you either need an s on nightmare or to change are to is
last line you need an s on night mare or to change have to has
last line second one needs an aphostrophy (excuse my spelling) or bout or to be changed to about

sorry i sound do critical over all it is very good but it is better to change the things now before you screw up something important like if you sent it to a publisher

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sleeping at night after a moment such as this...can't even begin the description. You did a very good job of breaking that time down. Of being direct on feelings of hurt...betrayal and broken inside. I like the directness you have wrote in your poem. Sometimes you just have to be brief with emphasis. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like the flow and rhyme to this poem. I also like the way you repeat the title in your words.
My favourite part:
'my nightmares are coming true
you fell in love with a girl or two
but not me, for im not new
you seem to not have a clue
bout how much pain you have put me through'


Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice ryming skills have hope stay strong if this is about you. :0 I loved this writing sometimes people should be more appreciated abt things nightmares come true too much for alot of people

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved the rhyming scheme you had for this! It made for a perfect flow. Great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


i love how you made it fit to the rhyme, very beautiful

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow...I really love the rhyme scheme here...
A very beautiful and emotional piece...
You did great here...
:)))

Posted 12 Years Ago


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JRB
Nightmares are at times premonitions from the soul, warnings to the heart and a messages to the awakening mind. nice write

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on December 11, 2011
Last Updated on December 11, 2011

Author

victoria
victoria

Wonder Land, RI



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