Why You? Seriously?

Part 2 of "Why You?": I didn't know what it was then, but I do now. I was jealous. I hated you for loving my best friend, and I hated my best friend for loving you. And I hated myself for loving you too.

It happened so suddenly…

 

Everything was like a whirlwind. I mean, everything seemed perfect at first. You were my favorite teacher. You would talk to me, laugh with me, joke with me, and had a sort of fun student-teacher relationship with me.

 

Then…everything changed.

 

I ended up in a different period, but I still had you. But everything was different. You stopped giving me attention, stopped talking to me, and even paid more attention to my best friend, who had hated you before! You were an entirely different person to me…and I hated it.

 

I didn’t know why then, although now I do, but I felt intense emotions building up in me until it finally exploded. I hated you, yet still liked you, but wanted you to look at me not her. GOD! The maze of emotions drove me crazy! I hated it, hated everything!

 

It may have taken me awhile since I was in denial, but I figured out I was jealous. Why though? To me, you were just another teacher. A fun teacher, one who understood me, one who would always be there for me…

 

I guess I was wrong.

 

Now, it’s her. And while I love her to death, I can’t help but hate her so much. Why has she captured your heart and taken you away from me? Why has she come into the picture, thus pushing me out?

 

What about me?

 

I am no robot without feelings. You think I could just forget that year? You think I would be fine if you just leave me right here to wither away? You think I cannot see what is going on? You think I am deaf to the way she talks about you now? You think I don’t see that look in your eyes?

 

I am not a blind fool, and I am not just someone who could forget so easily and move on.

 

Seriously…why must it be you?

 

-x-X-x-

 

Three years, and somehow you have caused me the most pain ever in my life.

 

Sure, she cries, she suffers, and she calls me, telling me how much she wished you hadn’t rejected her back then. And while it had filled me with glee to hear that, I only needed to take one look at your face to know you regretted it.

 

I could see how much you struggled to move on when you heard she left the school. I saw how much effort it took just to be your old self. Everyone could see something had happened and changed you.

 

And now, it is that day, Graduation. I am finally rid of you and going far away from this place. I hope that over time I could forget you, but I highly doubt it. You have somehow been imprinted into my mind, and I am sure it is very similar to a tattoo: irremovable.

 

I can hope though that I could take that diploma and feel a burden lift off of my shoulders…Yes; it has to be like that. I have to let you go…I have to live my own life, and not focus on you.

 

Except when I touched that diploma, shook the principal’s hands, and smiled at the crowd where my family snapped pictures, I felt like that burden had only been added to.

 

And now I walk into adulthood…still clinging onto you.

 

-x-X-x-

 

Six years have gone by.

 

I look at the walls of my apartment, and wonder why the hell I’m here. Why had I just let that happen?

 

Why had I let you go?

 

It had almost seem like a dream when you appeared in front of my eyes on my doorstep, smiling that goddamn sexy smile like you used to. I had almost thought that you had come here for me. I was hoping to hear that you were wrong, and knew now that it was not her you needed, but me.

 

That was until you said her name, and asked for her.

 

You b*****d. Coming here, raising my hopes, and dashing them the next second. I hope you and her turn out to be the worse couple ever. I hope she breaks your heart so bad that you would suffer like me.

 

But if I had really wanted that…why had I sent you in her direction?

 

Even I do not know.

 

-x-X-x-

 

I am a fool.

 

A fool who is in love with my best friend’s husband. Eighteen years I have suffered un unrequited love. Eighteen years I have held these emotions inside me, faking smiles to them all this time.

 

I don’t know why I did this to myself. Maybe it’s because I really do love my best friend and would never want to hurt her so badly. Maybe it’s because I really do love him so much that I had to let him go for him to be happy. Maybe I’m a masochist.

 

Or maybe…I really am just a fool.

 

I sent him to her, knowing how they both felt about each other, and how I felt about him. Why?

 

Why…did it have to be you?

 

So quickly am I drowning in this sorrow and pain…

 

There…

 

Here…

 

And gone…

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 

Ana’s eyes were blinded with tears, but she could see the words very clearly as she laid a lily down on the gravestone.

 

Her eyes tightened as she looked at those words:

 

Lily Anne Haines

1978-2008

A wonderful daughter

A thoughtful friend

Author's Note

This goes with my story "Why You?". This is from Ana's best friend (who was mentioned in the first story) POV, and as you can see, it was actually a secret love triangle! Comments and criticism are welcome! :)