I thought I reached to you

I thought I reached to you

A Poem by James L.
"

It hurts me still.

"

Standing here

could of sworn I reached up

and touched your face

 

you wiped away my tears

my scars

from the years

 

If only I could pause this moment

for an eternity

or at least a century

 

just like in my dreams

that dont last long enough

but this.. is ripping me from the seams

 

It just that

your not

I need to remind myself that

your not

sorrow amplified because

your not

 

It hurts

knowing you live for someone

who you may never get to see

 

A literal dream

a metaphorical reality

wheres the hope come from

wheres the sensuality

 

It's a numb that hurts

a powerlesness that persists

a thought that aches

 

it was just a dream

you were just a dream

and I am just here

© 2008 James L.


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or at least a century... and i am just here.

me too.

Posted 16 Years Ago


i like the disjointed quality of this - it is never quite concrete in it's images, which leaves the mind open to just imagine, and i liked that here - it worked with this.

"It just that
your not
I need to remind myself that
your not
sorrow amplified because
your not"

This was actually my favorite part, but also the worst part, because it needs serious editing. Here:

"It's just that
you're not
I need to remind myself that
you're not
sorrow amplified that
you're not."

There ya go... all better! But that was my favorite part (once I overlooked that grammar, hehe) because of the way it was set up, and the repetition, and it just worked wonderfully in that section of the piece. Nice job!



Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on October 24, 2008

Author

James L.
James L.

El Paso, TX



About
I've been writing since high school. I discovered that I loved poetry after reading The Raven from Edger Allen Poe. Later I discovered I loved writing after I wrote a poem. So I've been writing for 4 .. more..

Writing