Suicide Note

Not mine. I just made it up. It's just something that was in my head and I needed to write down. It makes me feel better.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you so very much. I just can't take it anymore. I've tried so hard to smile
and ignore the pain but no matter how many times you fake a laugh it will never
become real.

I Know what i'm doing and I know what this will do to people. I need every one to
be strong. I never meant to hurt anyone trust me I know how it feels. I've lost so much
in my life and I have never talked about it. I needed to feel loved but no one was there.
I know you were busy I did know you cared. But No one would listen he never answered
my prayers.

Tell everyone in the family. I loved them even though sometimes I didn't show it.
I appreciate everything everyone has ever done for me.

The only thing I felt that could help me was the music. The 'druged up freaks' as
you liked to call them dad. I knew you would never understand what the lyrics meant to
me. No one could. No one knew what went one behind these bright blue eyes.

I would like to thank My Chemical Romance. You truly were the therepists pumping through
my speakers.

I never thought something coulds cut me this deep. I don't even know how this
happened. I use to be so happy. It just changed. I thought it was a faze but I guess I
was wrong. I just can't deal with this anymore. I need to start over.

But like a bed of roses theres a dozen reasons in this gun And I'll give you seven
reasons why love is forever.

There is just so much I need to say but so little time. These words are all I have
left to hide behind. No more invisible walls no more locked doors. No more tears.

I know i'm a coward my taking the easy way out. I know no one ever said life
would be easy but no one ever said it would be this hard. I don't want the drama...the
hate...the fear...I can't handle it.

And again. It was never the music or my style. No matter how much you want too
believe it. It wasn't. The music helped it didn't destroy me. What did distroy me was
the lack of care and attention when I was in need. It may not have gotten this bad if
only you were there to help. If only you showed some love for me I wouldn't be writing
this note and watching the bottle of pills beside me. Maybe I would be laughing and
having fun with my friends. But without love my soul has died.There is no hope anymore.

Just remember I love you. Tell the rest of the family I love them too. Tell my
friends thanks and I love them. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I tried to kill the pain
but it only brought more.

 

Reviews

[The High Poet]

WoW,

I don't know what to say. Your write brought out so much emotion in me! For years I hated myself and wanted to die. I tried many times to take the easy way out and the last time I came very close. Being that close to death all I could think about was living. Thank you for sharing such an emotional piece, very brave. Do you still feel like this? I hope it is not too personal to ask you that. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, I am a good listener. I have been there and back so I might be able to help. Once again thank you for such a brave write.

Thanks
The High Poet AKA Jordan

[Silvario]

a very powerful write. its intense and draws emotion from the reader. im a huge fan of writing about emotional subjects as one of the marks of a good writer (in my humble opinion) is to provoke a genuine emotional tug. you not only did that here, but did it with style in a very well written piece. well done. :)

[perfectlymetiKulous]

Wow... this was intense. Powerful.
I really enjoyed reading. It was very personal, like I got a glimpse into the narrator's soul, saw them for who they are, and the pain they are experiencing.
Hauntingly written. I'm sure I'll come back to re-read this one.