Coffin nail

Poetry

Years passed by in a dark wind.
Caught in a trapped jar, i sing!
Unlovable creatures dance the needle,
while I pray for the darkest of things.
Silencing the soul,
Rushing to her blooms.
Too late for you now, my dearest,
this heart is but a tomb.
Hark, the herald has no wings!
Desire is an endless wish.
So bury me now, with my head in the ground,
the final coffin nail was a kiss

Author's Note

First time, i like poetry but not something ive tried before. Its fine if it sucks, gotta start somewhere right lol

Reviews

[Leviari]

Hey! It doesn't suck at all!! I am not an expert, so I can offer you only my humble opinion (and please do take into consideration that English is not my first language, so I might be wrong in my assumptions).
So, I think you should consider adding some punctuation to the poem, just to make the reading easier and to better mark the rhythm. Without commas and full stops it's a little difficult to understand where the sentence begins and where it ends.

Aside from these observations I do think it's a nice poem, very emotional, deep and captivating.
"The final coffin nail was a kiss " : such a good verse!!!

Well done, keep writing :)

[Scott]

Wow, thanks so much! And great tip! Wasn't sure about puncuation but ill give that a go