Drifter

Drifter

A Poem by Drake
"

A Poem I wrote a while ago

"

Slow silent drifter,
Walking into the rain
Slow silent drifter,
Never feels any pain

Slow silent drifter,
All alone he will be
Slow silent drifter,
Alone, you will see

Slow silent drifter,
No family, no friends, just him
Slow silent drifter,
Guilty as sin

Slow silent drifter,
Has given up on love
Slow silent drifter,
Love has given up on he

© 2013 Drake


Author's Note

Drake
This was short, but I still thought it was a pretty good poem.

My Review

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Reviews

Not bad, but although repetition does play a high role in your piece, I get the feeling that by the end of it there's perhaps a little too much repetition, and it starts to wear on the reader after about the second stanza, especially considering every other line is the same. Perhaps shorten it a little?

Posted 11 Years Ago


Drake

11 Years Ago

Thanks. Yeah, I might edit it abit.
I really like this, it's lyrical, and it has a hint of darkness to it. Nicely written. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Drake

11 Years Ago

Thanks Sweetie, your review means alot. :)
Katherine S.

11 Years Ago

You're welcome. :)
Drake

11 Years Ago

:)

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12 Reviews
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Added on February 14, 2013
Last Updated on February 14, 2013

Author

Drake
Drake

Mapleville, Toronto, Canada



About
Hey, I'm Drake. I'm 20. I live in Canada. I am new to writing, I'm not very good, and decided I would try this site out to see how my writing was... I mostly write fantasy and erotica, but every once .. more..

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