Drifter

A Poem I wrote a while ago

Slow silent drifter,
Walking into the rain
Slow silent drifter,
Never feels any pain

Slow silent drifter,
All alone he will be
Slow silent drifter,
Alone, you will see

Slow silent drifter,
No family, no friends, just him
Slow silent drifter,
Guilty as sin

Slow silent drifter,
Has given up on love
Slow silent drifter,
Love has given up on he

Author's Note

This was short, but I still thought it was a pretty good poem.

Reviews

[Ees]

The reason that I picked this poem to review first off is because of the title. My dad owns a bar and it opened in 1969. It has this crazy old style artwork on the outside of the building. My parents used to tell me about the man who painted it. his name was Larry the Drifter and that was the only name they ever knew him by. He was old. He'd been drifting for many, many years, painting buildings for work all across the united states. I tried looking him up on the internet and actually found something once. His artwork is distinctive, but most of it has been painted over by now. On our building we had it restored. Anyway, I was always fascinated by this tale and wanted to know you to know where I was coming from upon starting to read your poem.

I love the simple poem! The last line... I think it would sound more natural if you were to change "he" to "him". You did help to keep the romantic (not in a romantic love sense obviously) image of a drifter alive in me.

This is wonderful work!

[Drake]

That's very interesting. Thank you for the review, dear. :)

[Zachary_James]

Amazing Job I really enjoyed this.

[Drake]

Thanks

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Interesting read and write.

[Drake]

Thanks

[K-mo]

for being new with the writing thing, this is amazing!

[beautiful dreamer]

it was a great poem! most great poems are short! :) great poem!

[Drake]

Thanks. :)

[beautiful dreamer]

your very welcome! continue writing my friend

[SarahV]

Beutiful poem, really love the repitition of "Slow silent drifter" . The meaning is vividly clear but not boring, it keeps the reader engaged and may seem relateable. Keep up the good work! :)

[Winchester Saltgunner]

Wow awesome btw ur beautiful

[Drake]

Thanks. Haha, thanks babe.

[Winchester Saltgunner]

Welcome babe lol luvies lol

[Dominique Lambright]

It shows there is meaning and it is consistent in the meaning. I like it :)

[Lexi]

I love it, it flows really nicely and the way you described him its like i saw the way he lives.

[Drake]

Thanks for the review

[Acer]

Slow silent drifter,
No family, no friends, just him
Slow silent drifter,
Guilty as sin.......

yeah, you're right it's short, but because the poem is short, i loved it more, i loved to read short poems. well written.

[Drake]

Thanks for the support. :)