Life, Living and the lasting burden of Love

a poem I wrote...

Livin for the moment but the moment is cold
While I cry myself to sleep the other half is wise and old
I'm not a teenager I'm sold I sold my soul
So why is it so hard to keep my head straight?
I don't even know and most of the time I think I'm irate
I'm crazy and I know it but the ones I love deny it
I wish I could but I've already given in to those days
And now I'm wishing I could kill myself before the end of the day

I'm a land mine sitting waiting staying
Ancient technology no debating
No one wants me no one lives around me and no one can step on me without exploding too
I just want a new pair of shoes
I don't know if I want to forget
Maybe thats my burden
While I'm in so much pain throughout my heart and brain
I do what I do because I'm not that same

I miss you and I don't even know who you are
I cry and scream out
But I choke because I don't know what name to spout out my mouth
Why do I not miss what was love?
Maybe because I'm so full of hate from you dying and going above.
I can't sleep
I'm up all night writing raps with my puppy on my legs
She knows what happened and I know she feels burdened,
Burdened to stay,
And like I wish I could, sleep the day away...

Now this is not literal
It's all in my head and I'm only hurting myself
But all I can say is love is real wealth
But life is hell
And I will stay here forever so I can die on the inside and not ever age
It's all because I was born hated
Hated by god and no one sees it at all...

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and honest poem. I could feel the thoughts and the struggle in the poem. So many strong statements stood out in the poem.
"Livin for the moment but the moment is cold
While I cry myself to sleep the other half is wise and old
I'm not a teenager I'm sold I sold my soul
So why is it so hard to keep my head straight?"
It is a hard world. To keep the head on straight isn't easy anymore. No weakness in the excellent poetry.

Coyote

[X.M. McIntosh]

Thanks for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Sami Khalil]

"Maybe thats my burden
While I'm in so much pain throughout my heart and brain
I do what I do because I'm not that same

I miss you and I don't even know who you are
I cry and scream out"

A splendid read and write...Thank you for sharing...:)......................

[Prritiy]

"Livin for the moment but the moment is cold
While I cry myself to sleep the other half is wise and old"
a great start

"I miss you and I don't even know who you are
I cry and scream out
But I choke because I don't know what name to spout out my mouth"
a situation that happens at times, we are depressed at times without really understanding what is pulling us down and at times not knowing how to cope with what is happening...

"Maybe because I'm so full of hate from you dying and going above.
I can't sleep"
when we lose someone very imp like our parents, that too at tender age it is so frightful and the hopelessness makes us feel weird

"But all I can say is love is real wealth"
love is indeed real wealth ..but when we have it otherwise it becomes a bane.

"Hated by god and no one sees it at all."
I feel the pain in the whole write and it happens when we are in deep pain we feel no one loves us, even God hates us but that is not so, maybe HE gave you the pain because he knew one day you would emerge strong and good :)

Best Wishes

[X.M. McIntosh]

That was nice :)

[Prritiy]

have a nice time ahead :)

[Richard Layne]

Very pure and heartfelt anger and guilt here. i love the line "love is real wealth but life is hell". The land mine imagery is good too. Life sucks sometimes and there are plenty of things to regret or wish we could do over but we keep trudging on. keep writing

[X.M. McIntosh]

thank you :)

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Yes, I believe what the character in the poem is saying some people are born weak minded and usually need to join criminal gang groups or the military because God outcasted them and they are destined to go to hell. Very well written, Congratulations

[X.M. McIntosh]

No, its actually my feelings on how while everyday assimilated people are going with the flow on a carousel ride, not really dealing with real struggles. The main point being that if you do or don't have major issues in your life, it is your choice to discriminate against those that do, to live your pointless existence on this earth not helping anyone who has already gained your trust through family or young age, or to lastly, accept that people, like me, are destined for greatness because of the major struggles in our lives that we cannot disguise. It is simply not humanly possible to be born weak-minded. You are thrown daggers throughout your life if you live at all, and if you're not, well, rest in peace to your 95 year old grandfather who developed lung cancer before you were born. And being that this poem was about me, I'm kind of offended when you say that I, a 100% left wing liberal with the heart of an ox, and the soul of Ella Fitzgerald am destined to go to hell, and that I need to join a criminally-enforced environment and steal, hurt, and kill others while I'm still recovering on my own. I don't believe in war or fighting. And mostly, god, that is meant to be in lowercase because it's not a name, it's root origin is made for many definitions, is the basis of all conflict that caused wars since the beginning of time. So maybe, I'm glad that god hates me. At least if I'm on the devil's side I can get discounts on Buffalo Wings... Mmmm Spicy...
And if you do respond with a bible-thumping troll attempt, just know that this is public. I'm a Taoist... Don't diss me.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Well. Fort Mcintosh that is your opinion and you are entitled to it, for which gives me no right to try to change your mind in any way. I don't like gays from any memberships and I am going to push them to hell.

[X.M. McIntosh]

Uhhhhh I'm not gay... And it's great that you think that I give a s**t. Good luck.

[Rees Thomas]

AHAHA she's a stupid heartless little b*****d who is brainwashed and weak. She's almost like Hitler ahahahaha

[X.M. McIntosh]

And a little thing before I go... If you are going to push certain people to hell because a certain thing, preacher, person, or mentor tells you to, then you might as well get started now. There are a lot of insecure, hopeless people out there. Children committing suicide because of people like you. You must be proud. Because not only is that person "going to hell" but that's murder. And murder is a sin. And you know what? Maybe when you grow up and have kids with a great guy.. A guy who can dance, cook, loves to go to book club with you, and likes to snuggle, and you find out he's gay like so many stupid women like yourself who are such homophobes do, you might have a little change of heart... Hell is not a joke. Hell is a fairytale. Get it right.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Thank you Rees that just goes to show that you like to gang on other people and interrupt conversations when is none of your business, learn some manners.

[X.M. McIntosh]

haha right on man

[X.M. McIntosh]

People's sexuality is none of your business...

[SquinklaPsyOps]

It is, when gays try to get near, and that shows that you're a liar "And it's great that you think that I give a s**t"

[X.M. McIntosh]

And wtf did you get the whole "gay" thing from I wrote this for my dead dad.

[X.M. McIntosh]

Well you're stupid and that was a horrendous comeback. Get your nose out of the bible and into the real world.

[Rees Thomas]

Learn to "turn the other cheek" its not even a phobia. Homophobia. Phobia is when you fear something. You can't be scared of someone who's gay, its not that. Its that your an Arse hole Anika. I must also say this poem is good

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Now go along and start crying and bring more of your same-gender membership buf buddies, because I don't fear corrupt gays and I will not back down.

[X.M. McIntosh]

Wow. You're really stupid. im just gonna block your posts now. haha youre dumbing down my page... and thanks for the compliment man. I appreciate it

[Rees Thomas]

Haha if anyones going to hell here its you Anika. I've read a large quantity of the bible myself i never went to service because I didn't feel the need, I'm not an atheist. But from what I've read and learnt its people like you that make the world rot. F*****g Tool.