Max's Birthday Without Max

     Max decided that him and Frankie would share a birthday, their birthday is October fifteenth. Since we got Frankie, I have made two cakes one for Max and one for Frankie. It's going to confuse Frankie when there's only a cake for him and not one for his daddy. I'll buy a present and daisies for Max like I've done since we were together, even though he won't be there to open it. I'll put on his favorite movie and cuddle up on the couch with Frankie, like I used to do with Max. Wishing Max was there to trail his fingers through my messy hair and quietly whispering lines to the movie in my ear as they were spoken by actors.

     Everyone wants to do a memorial on Max's birthday, I want to visit Max's grave then sit at home and try to pretend that I'm not falling apart in his absence. The last thing I want is for sympathetic family members of Max to ask me how I'm feeling, Dr. Evan already asks me enough. I'm afraid I'll actually tell them how I'm feeling and I'll end up in the special hospital that Max hated.

      If I ever end up in that place I pray that they'll kill me, I don't want to become another statistic. I can't let hospitals, doctors, or society take me away from who I am.