Personal Narnia

And back to Jade

My hands trembled desperately as I fought hard to smear to makeup over the bruise. It was at least two shades darker than my own complexion, but I didn't care. It had turned a menacing shade of purple and black since last night.

Tears stung my eyes and rolled over my cheeks, destroying my disguise in a matter of seconds. I dug my face into a towel to hide my sobs. I couldn't have dusty or mom or dad coming to check on me. Especially not Dad or Dusty. Dusty would worry me like a mother bear scolding her cub for being careless in the woods. But dad…If he woke up just to come see me, I would be walking away with a matching mark on the opposite check. He had been drinking. Again. 

My mind wandered back to him. That starving look in his eye as he took away my innocence. That satisfied expression as I tried to push him off me. He enjoyed watching me squirm. My sobs turned into muffled screams of agony. 

"I thought you loved me!" I bawled into the pillow. "I thought you cared!"

Loved my p***y. A*****e! 

The pain of his betrayal cut through my body like a chainsaw, mutilating my insides and destroying the very fiber of my being. His seed had poisoned me, turning me into nothing but a worthless tramp. I reached for the small sewing needle that remained unused in a small drawer. This kind of thing never helped. I had tried it before but it had only made it worse. But this time…I needed it. I craved it. I pushed the needle into my skin and began slicing vertical streaks across my arms. The pain and excitement brought by the visualization of blood banished my mind of last night. It showed me that tonight was my oppritunity….it was my chance to end it all. 

After seven or eight more cuts, I replaced the needle and calmly walked to my room, searching through my closet. With a cry of triumph I pulled out the 12 foot rope. I calculated my height along with the length of the rope and concluded I would have to be a good ways up a tree for this to work. Satisfied with my conclusion, I walked over to my small wooden desk I used for writing and searched for a clean sheet of notebook paper. I abandoned any hope of finding a clean sheet and flipped over last weeks Algebra homework. Clasping the lid of a sharpie between my teeth, I calmly wrote all that needed to be said. Those nine words that summed up everything. 

With all emotion and fear erased from my mind, I grabbed the fake black rose I kept hung above my bed and exited my room. I tossed the rope over my shoulder and folded the paper into a tiny square. I looked up at the sky as I snuck out into the backyard. It was a full moon. The only time I ever went there.

I eventually lost sight of the moon as I ventured deeper into the patch of woods behind my house. It was dark and foggy, give it the cliche' horror movie feeling. The owl hooting somewhere far off didn't really help any either. I glanced at the giant X carved into the tall oak on my left. That's the halfway mark I thought with ease. I'm almost there! 

A long ago I had found a nice little clearing in the middle of the woods. A giant rock had stood proudly upon my first arrival, blocking my view of the splendrous lake behind it. After several years, my view of the personal Narnia hadn't changed. It was a place of escape. And that was what I needed. I only went on full moons. If tonight hadn't coincidentally been that, I would have had to waited until it was before I could carry out with my plans. I wasn't going to break my self proclaimed traditions. Especially not on such a special night. 

Perhaps it was the slight darkening in the fog that made me notice him. Or maybe it was that lonely whistle his perfectly pursed lips had emitted. Whatever it was, it caught my attention. I stepped closer, seeing his silhouette in the fog first. When I was merely several steps away, I could make out his face clearly.

"Devon! What are you doing here?!" 

Author's Note

So I know there's a lot of cursing and vulgarity... Please don't think I'm being immature by it, I'm just trying to capture the attitude of a teenager…and trust me…we cuss about EVERYTHING :p