Somebody Help Me

Back to Devon/Romeo

"F**k!"

I slammed my clenched fists against the bathroom counter, allowing the clattering sound to mask my string of curses. I knew her heart belonged to someone else….but…

'Surely you two are gonna f**k.' The words rang in my head like a blaring siren. I couldn't get them to extinguish. They were permanently torched into my mind. 

"F**k! F**k, f**k, f**k!!" 

I ignored my mothers concerned calls from downstairs. I stared into the mirror, curling my lip in disgust at the idiot who stared back. This wasn't me. The black hair and ridiculous piercings, the stupid contacts and cold attitude. None of it was me! It had all been for her! 

I reread her stories again and again in my head. She had published them to an online writing website. Each story had the same male love interest: jet black her, narrow green eyes, and a an icy attitude that only she could break through. The dark clothes and music…it was all for her! And that black rose…that one thing that was just as common as the word 'the' in her stories. There was always a significant black rose. 

I removed my shirt and turned my back towards the mirror, twisting my neck to view my permanent reminder of her. The dark ink contrasted with my body tone well, but it was so strange. A weird feeling. The entire back half of my torso, forever stained by the memory of her. Mom would have s**t if she'd have known. At first I had thought the tattoo would be an incredible idea; A massive, bleeding black rose. It seemed like the perfect way to ensnare her. But now…she was with that mother f****r! And I was sure that was exactly what they were doing. 

I growled in a blind rage, slamming my fist into the wall. I ignored the dent in the plaster i had created and sunk to the floor, pulling my knees closer to my heart. God it hurt. Such an unimaginable pain…one I would never wish upon my worst enemy. It felt as if my heart had ignited into flames and quickly dissolved into blackened ash, leaving not a single trace of happiness. I need you, dad! Tell me what to do. Please. God. Dad. Somebody. Please….help me! 

I curled into a tight ball and fell asleep, my mind, body and heart slowly breaking with each memory of her.