Just Kill Me

Again, short but to the point.

"Just f*****g kill me now!" I screamed into the dark, stormy night. Rain pelted hard against my skin, sending continuous waves of pain over my body. I welcomed it. Welcomed the impossible theory of being beaten to death by the rain. 

I pointed my hand towards God and shouted. I shouted and screamed like I never had before. My throat was becoming numb with pain, but. much like the rain, I didn't bother to let it be my focus. 

"Just kill me! Strike me dead!" I fell to my knees as a massive, earth shattering roll of thunder erupted in response, followed by a streak of lightning that lit up the whole town. I Stared down at my vague reflection in the dirty puddles that had gather along the side of the street. I growled in frustration and threw off my shirt, exposing my heart to it's doom. 

"You've made me suffer this long, then just throw her in my face when I can't even have her! Just f*****g kill me, now!" 

I waited. And waited. And waited. That jolt of sweet escape I craved more than anything never came. I felt the hot tears stream down my face, mixing with the polluted rain water. My angered cries quickly evolved into desperate pleas.

"Please!" I cried, anguish filling my voice. "Please, God! Kill me now!

The thunder roared all around me, the lightning teasing me. I couldn't stand this. I sat there in the pouring rain, my mind wandering back to her.

I was in her house! In her room! he touched me, she comforted me! Peace overcame me but quickly turned to ashes as I remembered him. 'My girl.' 

I felt the anger inside me rekindle, then evaporate into depression. She was with someone else. She belonged to another. I was destined to be alone. I decided to ignore the burning pain of not having her and enjoy the little things. Like each time she touched me. Especially when she had yanked my hair. I hadn't quite realized at the moment, but that one simple tug sent a chill down my spine, causing my body to react in ways I could have sworn was unnatural. 

I thought back to the way she assured me I was going to be ok. The way she looked at me when she told me my life was important.

I had been scolding her for being reckless and getting injured. To see her hurt like that made me irate. Whenever I suggested the hospital she turned me down. Each time I asked her why she was stupid and reckless, she would respond with a smile and a shrug. FInally, after asking her for the billionth time why she did what she did, she looked at me and said; 'Because whether you realize it, your life is important. You shouldn't be picking fights when people are trying to help you. It will only get you killed.'  

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, allowing myself to succumb to the chilling comfort of the rain. Maybe I'll drown in the rain. Or maybe a f*****g transfer truck will run my sorry a*s over. If that happens…I wonder what she'd do...