Stolen Identity

just a short story I wrote about some friends of mine. Each character is a person I know which made it funny as hell to write. Enjoy.

“Holly!”

I placed the knife that I had been sharpening down and turned towards the window, seeking the source of the voice. I awaited several more seconds, preparing in the event of an attack. Nothing. Finally, the voice called again.

“Holly!”

This time, I recognized the beautiful voice. I smiled, knowing that the only danger I was in was of over affection. I remained in place and continued working on my spell. At that moment, the door burst open. I pretended to take no notice.

“Did you not here me calling?” the man roared, slamming the old wooden door of my small mud hut behind him.

I continued to hum a song sung by Lord Osbourne. It told the story of a man named Crowley. I was one of the few alive who both understood and appreciated it. My ignoring him made the man furious.

“You first have the nerve to worry the living daylights out of me, and now you find amusement in whistling a tune?”

I sighed, acting as if I was about to say something. Instead, I grasped the knife tightly in my right hand and spun around, releasing the handle the minute my eyes met his. His face grew pale and he cried out in terror as the knife bit into his shirt collar and sailed towards the wall, dragging him with it. I said nothing, but stood and retrieved my dagger from the wall, causing my visitor to collapse to the ground. I wiped the pieces of cotton and dirt from the blade and placed the weapon gently on a piece of torn fabric. Once it was secured safely beneath the purple cotton and placed in the cupboard, I returned to spark a conversation with my victim.

“You were saying?” I said mockingly, kneeling beside him.

Sir Blake looked up at me, both grinning and shaking in terror.

“Um…I love you?” he offered in a tremulous voice.

With his goofy grin, hopeless attitude and feeble position, I couldn’t help but laugh. He joined in on my moment of acute humor. We both sat there in the floor of my house for several minutes, laughing continuously. Finally, once we both regained our sanity, I continued the conversation.

“I though a knight was required to always wear his armor,” I said, pointing to his simple cotton shirt and leather vest, patched pants, and brown slippers. He looked like any other hard working villager.

“Well, his highness the king gave me the day off!” he exclaimed happily, jumping to his feet with extraordinary grace. “And I thought I would take advantage of the break and escort you into town.”

“That would be most wonderful. However, I am right in the middle of a new spell,” I pronounced, gesturing towards the open spell books and sand pentagram drawn on the floor.

Blake sighed. “This is what I get for loving a witch. I suppose we’ll go another time.” He lowered his gaze and slumped forward in the most pitiful way. I groaned in frustration, knowing that the illusion of guilt always fooled me. He knew this as well.

“I suppose I can finfish it later,” I sighed. Though I was slightly upset about not finishing the teleportation spell I had recently concocted, I was most pleased to be spending a day with Blake.

He looked up at me, his eyes still holding disappointment. “No, I do not wish you to come with me if it’s not agreeable with your schedule. Another time.”

D****t! I thought. You only make it worse! I ran over to the closet and grabbed my hickory basket, woven by the finest artist in the kingdom.

“No, it’s fine!” I protested. I rushed back over to where he was standing and grabbed his hand. “I needed to run a few errands anyway!”

His whole face lit up and an ecstatic grin spread across his lips. He led the way out the door and towards a magnificent black horse. I petted the massive animal’s snout and whispered a spell underneath my breath. After I finished, a large orange carrot appeared in my hand. I grinned as it’s tongue curled around the raw vegetable and pulled it between its lips. I turned to Blake and raised an eyebrow.

“I though you had the day off?”

“I do,” he said, securing the saddle on the horses back.

“Then why is Azrael here? I thought he was your war horse.”

“No. He is mine and has been since I was twelve. I do use him for my job, yes, but only because I trust no other battle horse or work horse. If not for that, then there would be no way in heaven or on earth I would endanger him like that. Alas, he is the best stead and friend a man could ever find,” Blake said, placing a hand gingerly over the beast’s knotted head. I smiled at his devotion to his friend. Azrael really was a great horse. He was fortunate to have such a caring owner.

“Well,” Blake said, interrupting the silence. “Let’s be off, shall we?”

I looked up at the black Clydesdale. His brown eyes held a heavy fog of exhaustion. Blake must have been in too much a rush to get her to event take notice.

“How about we walk?” I said, objecting to his hand, which was to help me mount the horse. He looked at me curiously for a moment, but eventually shrugged his shoulders and tied Azrael’s reins to a sturdy fence post.

For a good fraction of the journey through the forest path there was an awkward silence shared between us. Finally, once we reached the town, a topic of speech wormed it’s way into our silence.

“Surely you must be joking!” I cried in disbelief, turning to face him.

He shook his head. “Neigh. Not at all!”

“That’s terrible. Alright, first off, I need to deliver some herbs to Mrs. Amy. Alright, I’ve got them here. Let’s go!”

We continued to discuss the importance of goblins and nymphs to the kingdom’s society and many different things. Once we reached the old bar, I was greeted by several others who were leaving. I walked through the empty room and headed towards the back.

“Oy’! Holly!”

I turned and waved at the old man shining a glass mug.

“Evenin’ Mr.Cartlidge! How are you?” I called happily.

“I’m gettin’ by I ‘spose. Amy’s in the back,” he said, pointing towards the piece of tattered fabric that hung over a door way, preventing wondering eyes from becoming to curios.

“Thank ya’!” I curtsied and motioned for Blake to follow me into the back room. I pulled back the cloth and peered inside. A woman in a light green dress and dirty apron was kneading some dough, causing flour to fly everywhere. Even her dark brown curls were coated in white.

“Am I interrupting?” I asked, walking into the small kitchen without waiting for an answer. I knew she always had time for others. Especially her personal delivery girl. Amy looked up from her work and smiled as I approached her.

“Hello, Holly! Are you this evenin’?” she grinned cheerfully, standing up straight. She muttered a curse or two underneath her breath as her spine popped along with the movement.

“Great! I see you’re doin’ good as well! I brought your Rosemary.” I reached into my basket and pulled out the small leather pouch and handed it to her. She smiled thankfully and scuffed over towards the cupboards. I watched her pull out a larger version of the sack that held the spices and fill it with several pieces of fresh, warm bread.

“Ya’ think ya’ could run this down to the church? I promised the ole’ Preacher I’d bake em’ a batch,” Amy asked, returning to beating the dough with her hands.

“Aye! Have a nice day!” I said, rushing towards the door.

“Oy’! You two comin’ to get ya’ a bite?” Amy called from the kitchen.

I looked at Blake for conformation. He smiled. “Aye!”

“We’re almost there!” I said cheerily, looking up into the sun.

“Good! The sooner we get done, the sooner we get to return to Azreal! And, perhaps have a little alone time…” his voice trailed off as he leaned in for a kiss. He never got one.

“Holly! Blake! Wait for me, will ya?” a voice broke through the noisy crowd. It wasn’t long for the person who it belonged to emerged. Well, persons.

“Hey there!” I called, waving so the three girls could easily find us in the mess of people.

“Holly! Where ya’ been?” Savannah cried, running up to give me a hug. I smiled as she stepped back, extending her hand. I shook it and addressed the others.

“Angela, I thought you was watchin’ the horses!” Blake said, making fun of her presence.

“I was! But Johnny took over for me. And ya’ forgot Azreal’s brush!” Angela spat, placing a hand on her hip.

Blake sighed. “He’s a man! He don’t be needin’ no brushin!”

Angela was the castle’s stable keeper. She was in charge of keeping an eye on all the horses and other animals. It was said that she had her own unauthorized heard of llamas hidden in the outer fields, but that was incorrect. There was only one or two, so it wasn’t a heard.

“Quit complainin! Oy! You sound like mi father!” Brianna, my other friend, scolded. She didn’t have a profession like Angela and Savannah-who, by the way, was the talented artist who made my basket- but she was definitely a reliable person if you ever needed help with anyone bothering you.

I had once witnessed her take on two full grown men at once. She definitely didn’t qualify for damsel in distress. I believed her tough exterior came from living with her father for so many years. Her Mother had left her and her three sisters with their father when she went to live with her family in the northern Kingdom. She was allowed frequent visits, but not many. Brianna had focused her attentions on getting permission from the king to go live with her mother. She hadn’t received word from him yet, but she was very confident he would approve.

“I’d love to stay and chat, but I really got to get this bread down to the church,” I said, pulling away from the small crowd of frantic friends. “C’mon Blake!”

He happily pulled away from the others as well and joined me in my departure.

“Oy! Holly! You got to come with me to see the king! He wants to talk to mi bout movin up North with Momma!”

“Alright! I will after I finish up mi errands!” I called back to Brianna as we disappeared over the hill.

We finally reached the Church just as services were letting out. I waved hello to several more friends and people I knew form around the village.

“Holly!” A shaggy haired boy called. He was followed by another shaggy haired guy and a short boy with black hair.

“Hey Kevin!” I said, focusing my attention on the advancing idiots. “Colton! Tommy!”

“Hey there! Is that for me? Oh, you shouldn’t have!” Colton cried, reaching out for the bread. I jerked the basket away quickly.

“Good,” I began. “Cause I didn’t!”

“Alas! Why must thou be so vain?” he cried, acting as if he was deeply hurt.

“Perhaps if you had a little more sense! This bread is for Preacher Walden! Blake and I were-”

“BLAKE!” Kevin cut me off. “How are you? Didn’t see ya! Didn’t recognize ya really! Where’s your armor? What ya doin’ on such a day? Why ain’t ya both in church? Huh? You over at her house? Ohhh! Naughty! Why, I bet you two was-”

Kevin’s hyper, run together voice was cut off by Tommy placing his hand over his mouth. Though he was very small and quite, he had his moments.

“Thank you, Tommy!” Blake and I said together.

Once Tommy’s hand was removed, Kevin continued his abnormally fast bantering.

“You two together right? Huh? Careful there Blake! This en’ might cast a spell on ya, she will! Get all warlock on ya bum! So how long it been? Two years? Two days? Huh? When ya gonna get hitched? Ya done anything yet? Really Holly, a knight? C’mon, you kin’ do better!”

I was too amazed by how fast he was speaking to absorb what he was saying. Blake, on the other hand, paid perfect attention. He grinned and answered each question in a joking matter, not being serious in the least.

“C’mon Blake, we better get going. Got to get this bread to the Preacher, go deliver some bones to the Hermit, and then head on up to the King with Brianna,” I ushered, stepping inside the church. “See ya later!”

The three boys waved goodbye and rushed off to do only God knows what. Blake and I walked into the church. Preacher Walden was skimming through his bible, marking pages with mint leaves.

“Preacher Walden! Mrs. Amy sent ya some bread!” I said quietly but just loud enough for the old man to hear. He looked up from his book marking and smiled.

“Good morning you two! God bless that woman’s soul!” he cried, extending one hand for the bread and the other for a handshake.

“Alright,” I said, looking down the trail. “Now we have to go deliver these bones and go see the king and then I think that’ll be it for today!”

“Good,” Blake said, plopping his head on my shoulder. “Cause I’m exhausted!” I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “But do we really have to go see that ole’ hermit? The man sends shivers down my spine, he does! Old coot. Really is a waste of air, he is!”

“You watch your tongue, now! Ole’ Beckham’s a good man! May not be fully there in the brain, but who is nowadays?” I snapped.

He sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry. You are right, I am wrong! Forgive me?”

I rolled my eyes. “Hopeless.”

Once we reached the cave just on the outside of town, I noticed that the sun was now just above us.

“It’s evening now. Let’s hurry up. I’m gettin’ rather weary myself.” I grabbed his hand and led him over to the fair sized cave. “Beckham?” Silence. I continued to call his name in the darkness.

“Beckham? Are you there? Got the bones for ya! Beckham?”

At that moment, a whizzing sound brushed passed my ear. I jumped back and stared at the poorly made arrow that was sticking out from the tree I was just standing next to. It had come inches from ear.

“Holly!” Blake called, rushing to my side. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I assured.

An evil, dry cackle filled the air as I stood. We searched franticly for the source. Then, my ears became alert to the swift movement in the trees above us. I looked up quickly, my eyes darting from limb to limb. Finally, I saw him.

He was hidden well behind the trees. His brown and green body paint disguised him well behind the branches and leaves. However, it was his big, almost nocturnal seeming eyes that give him away. I grinned.

“That was a good ‘en! But why don’t ya c’mon down? I brought ya some bones!” I called to the figure concealed behind the trees.

Beckham let out an ear splitting, animal like shriek. He grabbed hold of a vine and swung down, expecting to ride it to the ground. However, the vine couldn’t support his weight and snapped almost instantly. Blake stepped forward, prepared to come to the rescue. I held out an arm, stopping him from continuing. He looked at me as if I was insane. I smiled.

“Just watch.”

He seemed unsure, but he stepped back and watched the old hermit fall to his death. OR, so he thought. Beckham reared out one of his arms and grabbed hold of a branch. He came to an almost immediate halt. However, one hand was enough the come him suspended. Soon, both hands were grasping the branch. The force of the drop caused him to spin in a complete circle. On the second spin, he stopped halfway through it and performed a hand stand on the branch. I heard Blake gasp in amazement. I grinned, knowing that we had not yet been shown the extent of his abilities.

The old hermit pushed forward, flying off the branch towards the tree’s trunk. He wrapped one arm and leg around the slender trunk, and started off in a spiral drop down the tree. His skin deflected the bark like a metal shield. Once he was ten feet above the ground, he let go and propelled himself by pressing his feet into the tree and springing forward. He pulled his legs and arms up to his chest, turning himself into a human cannon ball. He nodded his head forward, causing his whole body to turn into several 360degrees turns. Finally, with five feet left to spare, he uncurled himself and landed firmly on his feet.

I grinned and clapped lightly, not at all phased by Beckham’s amazing stunt. Blake, on the other hand, was completely flabbergasted. His mouth was hanging agape and his eyes were close to popping from their sockets. He said nothing for the longest time. Finally, he looked at me and said in a very small voice: “Did you see that?”

I nodded. “He’s good, ain’t he?” This shocked him even more.

“Good?” he echoed. “Good? No, no my dear. Did you not see him! Are you blind or have your eyes been deceived? Did you not see that?” Before I got a chance to answer, he straightened himself and his eyes, if possible, grew wider. “Perhaps it is my eyes being fooled by a spell!”

“My love,” I assured. “What you saw was correct! No magic forces are at hand. If they were, I would have sensed them! I saw his actions as well! You see, this is what living in solitude with no human interaction for years can do! He is an incredible acrobat!”

After several minutes of calming Blake down, I finally returned to my purpose of coming here. I followed the old man into his cave.

“Want some tea?” Beckham asked, hunching over next to the fire.

“No thank you!” I said, taking a seat next to his beating rock. It was merely a large stone he used to bash in the heads of birds and bats he used for his potions and spells. I had learned most of my magic from him.

“Good,” he grumbled. “Cause there ain’t none! Didn’t fix none! Ain’t gonna fix none! Don’t plan on fixin none!” He hobbled over to his prized pile of sticks and looked over them.

“What’s he doing?” Blake whispered, claiming the seat next to me.

“Makin’ sure all his pokin’ sticks are in order,” I whispered back.

“He has a dozen fire pokin’ sticks?” he asked, eyeing the old man curiously.

“Well, not exactly,” I said with a smile. He remained silent, awaiting an explanation. “Well, when he ain’t huntin’, climbing trees, and practicing his magic, he finds enjoyment in pokin’ passin’ travelers with them there sticks. He’s got em’ one for each type of person he does.”

Blake raised an eyebrow and wrapped his arms around me. He lowered his lips until they were even with my ear. “I’ll protect you from the psycho stick poker!”

I shuddered at the feel of his hot breath on my skin.

“What is his real name anyway?” Blake asked. I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by Beckham’s old croaky voice. He hobbled over towards where we were sitting and shoved the tip of his oak wood cane in Blake’s face, lightly pressing the tip of his nose.

“There are some in these parts who call me…Tim!” Beckham screeched. I stifled a spell of laughter at the sight of the knight’s expression.

After several seconds of staring at him with one eye open, Beckham(or, if you prefer, Tim) pulled his cane away and limped towards the dimly light and slowly dying fire.

“So, Holly. How is my brother?” he asked. I smiled at the old man.

“Actually, we were just about to go see him! Have to help out a friend and thought I’d swing up and tell em’ hello. Any messages for em’?” I said cheerily, thrilled to be talking to him. I always enjoyed the old man’s company. Though some thought him insane, I found not a single fault in him. Well, other than his strong desire to shoot or poke any moving object.

Without taking a moment to think it over, he raised his middle finger and pretended to wrap it up. “Give em’ this, will ya?”

I grinned and stuck my middle finger in the air, implying that I would make it my soul duty. He mumbled something not meant for me to hear.

“So, lad, tell me. What’s your relation with ole’ Holly here?” Beckham asked.

“Um, I, err-” Blake couldn’t find the right words. He was obviously taken off guard by the question. I smiled, knowing what was about to happen, expecting it any minute…

WHACK!

“OW!” Blake cried, rubbing his head. “What’d ya do that for?”

“Don’t stutter, boy!” Beckham scolded, stroking the end of his cane. “Now, what’s your profession, boy?”

It took him a second to recover, but finally he answered. “A knight, sir. For the King. Head of the guard.”

Beckham nodded his approval. “Alrighty then. What’s yer intentions with mi’ daughter?”

Silence. I glanced over at Blake. His jaw was practically scrapping the cave floor. His eyes were bulging and held a since of pure shock and utter disbelief.

“Close yer mouth, boy. Catch flies you will!” Beckham scoffed.

“F-f-f-f-f-father?” Blake stuttered, despite his previous mistake in doing so.

“What’d I tell you bout that stutterin’?”

“Father? Father? Father! Ole’ Beckham the hermit is your father!?” he exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

I nodded, as if nothing was amiss. And it wasn’t. I assumed people knew about my relationship with him. I suppose I was wrong. “Yeah, didn’t ya’ know?” He shook his head.

Beckham looked out the cave’s mouth and squinted his eyes to the sky. “We’ll if ya goin’ to see mi brother, ya’ best be off for the dark falls. Em’ guards get weary bought young girls and boys wanderin’ up the castle steps at such an hour. Off with ya! Shoo!”

I stood and gave a parting bow. I elbowed Blake in the ribs, urging him to do the same. He quickly followed my led, catching on to things quickly. I believe he had gotten over the bombshell bout me and Beckham.

“Good bye, father!” I called as we exited the cave.

“Good bye, Mr. Beckham sir,” Blake said.

WHACK!

“OW! What was that ’en for?”

WHACK! WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!

“I’ll ask the questions! And don’t call me sir. Or Mr. Got that, boy?” Beckham demanded.

“Yes s-”

WHACK!

“OF COURSE!” Blake finished hurriedly, stepping back.

Beckham smiled. “Got yourself an alright lad, you do!”

“Thank you, father,” I said, once again bowing. I turned on my heels and headed through the forest, searching for a path.

We walked a good ways in silence. Well, before Blake found it appropriate to ask more questions.

“So is he really yer father?”

“Yes. Where’d ya think I got mi’ magic from?”

“Who’s yer mother, if ya don’t mind me askin?”

“Don’t matter, she’s dead.”

“If that ole’ hermit’s your father, then who be yer uncle?”

I didn’t answer this one. Well, I did in a way. With one of my famous, mischievous grins.

“You’ll see!”

“Fine, keep your dirty secrets! I know how to make you talk!”

I rolled my eyes, thinking nothing of his sudden disappearance. I began to whistle another of Lord Osbourne’s ingenious songs, completely unattached from the world.

WHACK!

“OW!”

I spun around, rubbing my head and searching for the culprit who was responsible for my searing head ache. I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream when I saw Blake standing there with his goofy grin and holding a broken branch. I sort of did both.

I stomped up to him and struck him on the arm and yelled in his face, all the while laughing like a maniac. He put on his much too familiar puppy dog face.

“But honey! It’s a big stick! I couldn’t help myself!” he whimpered.

“Drop it!” I said sternly.

“But it’s a BIG STICK!” he protested.

“I know! Drop the big stick!”

“Aye,” he sighed disappointedly, releasing his grip and allowing the stick to roll to the ground and land with a thud.

I rolled my eyes and continued walking to the castle, all the while trying to think of a good pain relief spell.

“Halt! Who goes there?”

I looked up at the soldiers and grinned. They were both standing at perfect attention. One was short and stubby with a red mustache. The other was tall and thin with a black goatee. I opened my mouth to speak, but didn’t get the chance to. Blake pushed past me and extended his hand.

“George! Gregory! Ow’ are you this evenin?” he asked, speaking informally.

“Ello’ there Blake! Ow’ are you?” the one with the red mustache asked.

“I reckon I’m gettin’ there!” he said merrily.

“So Blake, what brings ya’ up here at such en’ hour?” the goateed one asked, eyeing us in mock suspicion.

“Well, I’ve offered to escort this ‘ere fair maiden-” he pointed a finger at me-“up to see tha’ King ‘emself.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I can’t be lettin’ ya do that!” Goatee said seriously.

“Well just why not?” Blake asked sternly.

“Ain’t allowed to let tha village people in after tha sun sinks past that there far tree. You know that Blake, you’s a knight too, remember?”

“Exactly! I’m a knight, I serve the king! I should be let inside!”

“You’s off duty, ain’t ya? Can’t let ya in. Sorry chum.”

“Here,” I said, stepping in front of Blake. “Let me handle this.”

He looked at me, not even weighing out the possibility that I could get us in inside where he couldn’t. He shrugged his shoulders and I mouthed the words “Thank you.”

I turned to the men. “Hello, kind sirs. I really hate to bother ya, but I need to get inside and see the king.”

They both looked at each other, then at me. “I’m sorry miss, can’t let ya by. Come by again tomorrow.”

I sighed. “Why must you make everything so damn difficult?” I dug around inside the pocket on the left of my dress. “ah ha!” I cried, successful in my search., I pulled out the small piece of cloth and began to unravel it. “Perhaps ya’d be a little more persistent bought let me inside when I showed ya this.”

I held up the golden crest for the two knuckleheads to see. They observed the shiny metal for the longest time. My arm had just started to grow numb when the short ’n fat one said “that’s the crest of tha royal family that is!”

“I’m sorry, mi’ lady! Our apologies! Go right on in!” Goatee said nervously.

“Thank you, kindly!” I said, folding up the crest. I shoved it back inside my pocket and started walking past the two guards. Blake remained silent, most likely dumbfounded about my revelation.

“Miss!” one of the guards called. I didn’t even turn to acknowledge him.

“Yes?” I called.

“Can we keep this ‘tween us? Ya know, don’t wanna loose mi job!”

“Mi’ lips are sealed!” I called, walking through the large front doors.

Once we were alone in the corridors that led to the throne room, Blake thought it safe to talk.

“How’d ya do that?” he asked, surprise filling his voice.

“Simple,” I began. I came to a stop in front of a set of large, wooden doors. I showed the guards my crest and asked them nicely to open the door. No questions were asked as the large doors swung open and the golden throne room slowly came into view. It was burst of light and color. The entire chamber was decorated in gold and golden paint with red carpets and tapestry. A long crimson rug stretched to the opposite end of the room, with guards positioned evenly on each side of it. I saw the king huddled over a small table to the far left and grinned. “The King is mi’ Uncle!”

Once again, the very words were stripped from his throat as Blake processed the information. As we calmly walked down the long carpet, his lips became even with my ear and he lowered his voice to a whisper. “King Cardo’s yer Uncle?”

“Mm-hm.”

“So his brother is your father, Ole’ Beckham the hermit?!”

“Well, they’re half brothers actually. But the fight like true siblings,” I said with a grin at recollection of my concealed memories of the two.

“King Cardo, sir!” the knight to his left cried loudly.

“Yes, yes what is it!?” he cried without turning around. His back remained faced to us as he fiddled with something concealed from our sight.

“These two villagers have requested an audience with you. They say that-”

“Villagers?! VILLAGERS?! PEASANTS!?” he bellowed, jumping to his feet. The sudden movement caused the chair he was sitting in to flip over and crash against the marble floor. “WHO ALLOWED PEASANTS IN MY CASTLE!? SOMEONE IS GETTING BEHEAEDED!!!”

He turned to observe the peasants, angry and red faced. His burning cheeks matched the robe the hung from his shoulders and drug several feet behind him whenever he walked. The edges were embroidered with white polar bear fur. The head and hide of one had been used as a rug that lied in front of his throne, acting as a mat.

Once he saw who the peasants were, his anger subsided and he smiled.

“Well now if it isn’t Holly! What brings you here? Didn’t have no trouble gettin’ in did ya? Does I need to behead someone? Sweet Mrs. Buttersworth, I’ll do it!”

“Calm Uncle! Why must you always wish to behead someone?”

“Do you not approve of my beheading abilities?”

“I never said that!” I said with a sly grin. “I was simply askin why that was your immediate reason. I find your methods of punishment most humorous!”

“Holly, do you know why I behead peasants?” he asked, slowly striding towards his throne.

“I do not, Uncle. Why?” I asked, though I already knew the answer. I played dumb for his sake, knowing that If I tried to say that he has asked me this question many a times, he would simply yell and say that he did not.

“Because I can! You see this robe? This robe right here? How about the crown? And the scepter? Mine! All mine! I have the power to do so! I’m just that glorious!”

I smiled. “Yes Uncle you are quite glorious! Oh, father says…” I raised my middle finger.

His eyes narrowed and he started grumbling. I heard “b*****d” and “fool” and a few other things I thing it best not be repeated.

“So,” he said at last, returning to normal. Well, with King Cardo, there really was no such thing as normal. “What brings you here?”

“Actually, I was to meet a friend of mine. Brianna. Has she arrived yet?”

“Hm? Oh, the girl who keeps whining to go see her mommy?”

“I suppose so, yes.”

“Yes…let me think,” he mumbled, stroking his beard with his thumb and index finger. “hmm. Yes. She came by earlier. Told her I needed several more months. Fool.”

I laughed. “So, where is Baxter?”

At that moment, a little fuzzy dog with black hair draping its eyes scuffled into the room. It ran up to the throne and jumped into the King’s lamp. My Uncle’s eyes glowed. Then, he parted his lips and began to sing:

“Ohhh Baxter! You are my little gentleman! I’ll take you to f-BAXTER! NO! BAD DOG! Look what you did!”

WHACK!

The little dog jumped from his lap and scurried off into the next room, whimpering.

“Oh just wonderful!” Uncle cried, standing from his throne and waving his arms around in an attempt to remove the liquid from his tunic. “It seems I have been drenched in puppy piss!”

“Well, Seeing as how Brianna has left, I suppose we can leave now,” I said to Blake, turning towards the door and calmly walking away from the commotion.

“Um, shouldn’t you tell him you are leaving?” Blake asked as we walked down the castle steps and back into the village.

“No, he’ll figure it out. Either that or he’ll end up talkin to a pineapple again, thinking it’s me. Either way. We can go home now!”

“I thought you promised Amy you was gonna eat there today?”

“Oy! Yer right! Oh well, we’ll go tomorrow. I’m just ready to go home and-”

“OY! HOLLY!”

“Huuuuulllllyyyyy!!”

“HOLLY! BLAKE!”

I sighed and looked up at the heavens. “What now!?” I turned to see three figures running towards us in the distance. As they neared, I was able to make out who they were.

“Dillan! Jay! Dillon!” I called, waving an arm in the air. Once they were right on us, I was able to determine their state.

“Ey’ there Hully!” Dillon slurred, swerving slightly and grasping an empty brandy bottle. Drunk as a sailor. As always. Ole’ Dillon had a reputation of the being the village drunk.

“Holly! Was you watchin the joust last night? Lord Steeler whipped their fannies, he did!” Short, innocent Jay. Always watching the joust and putting every coin in his pocket on Lord Steeler. Real sports fanatic.

“Holly! Look at these blueprints! Do you see the little fan? It’s supposed to make man walk on water!” Dillan exclaimed, jumping up and down like a young girl going to her first festival. He was an apprentice to Lord DaVanci himself. He and the old man were always thinking up different inventions and ideas to help progress science and expand our knowledge.

I stood there, confused as to which one was saying what. They all chose to share their news at once.

“ENOUGH!” Blake bellowed. Once they were all silent, he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Holly is very tired and if you don’t mind she would like to return to her home!”

THANK YOU BLAKE! I thought, relief flooding through me.

“Oh! Well that’s not a problem! We’ll walk you home!” Jay cried. The others agreed.

“It’s quite alright, fellows. I was headin’ that way anyway, and I told her I would escort her. Why don’t ya’ll go and see if Mrs. Amy is need of company?” Blake asked, trying to hint that he wanted to be alone with me. I suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. He was doing a good job of hinting, they just weren’t getting it.

“Oh, We just came from there!” Dillan said.

“Yeah, she said she didn’t need no help. Actually, she told us to come find you!” Jay chimed.

“Oy, didn’t Lord DaVanci say he was workin on his flyin contraption this evenin?” I asked.

“OY! He sure did!” Dillan cried, slapping his forehead. “C’mon fella’s! Let’s go see if Lord DaVanci needs any assistance!” They all turned to the South and broke into a sprint.

“Ain’t Lord DaVanci’s house to the North?” Blake asked, taking my head and leading me down the path towards my hut.

“They’ll figure it out,” I said with a grin.

“FINALLY!” I cried, collapsing onto my straw bed. “Relax…”

I jumped to my feet and spun circles in the small house.

“Would you like me to make some supper?” Blake asked, digging through the cupboards.

“Sure! I’ll run out and get ya some water for the dishes!” I said, running out the door. I grabbed the pail I kept turned upside down the gate post in front of my house and ran towards the well.

As I waited for the bucket to fill, I decided to relax. I settled down in the soft, meadowy grass that grew around the well. It was so soft. I looked up at the sky. God had painted it with yellows and oranges and pinks. I sighed. Such a perfect day. The vibrant colors faded to black as sleepiness over took me and my eyes fluttered shut.

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I dropped the spoon and rushed towards the door, searching frantically for the source of the scream. I remained in the doorway for several seconds, silently waiting. After a full minute passed by, I decided it was all in my head. Just as I turned my back to the forest and headed back inside, I heard it again. This time, it was clear…and close. I knew that scream. My heart sunk to my feet.

“HOLLY!” I screamed, breaking into a dash towards Azreal. I jumped straight from the ground into his saddle. I dug my heels into his sides and twisted his reins towards the direction of the scream. He neighed for a moment, taken of guard by my command, but quickly came to his senses and took off through the forest. As the green and brown blurs that were once vegetation zoomed passed my, I continued to call her name. “HOLLY!”

Finally, Azreal leapt forward, landing right square next to the well. I drew my broadsword and jumped off, not stopping to think. I lunged for the cloaked figure standing above my beloved Holly. She was pinned to the ground by several throwing knives that had pierced the shoulders of her dress and continued forward into the dirt. The one thing, however, that caused me to loose focus for a moment was the purple haze spiraling through the air like smoke. It weaved itself in a perfect string from Holly’s open mouth into a small vial the mysterious person was wearing. Not wasting another a second, I thrust forward, sending my blade in a spiral motion towards the figures back. The person quickly moved to the side, easily avoiding my attack. I took this opportunity to jump him. I sprang onto the figure’s back, dragging him to the ground.

The hood of the cloak feel back, revealing the attacker’s face. It was a woman. Her long brown hair lay flat against her head, framing her face. Her eyes were strangely colored. An odd mix of green, blue and grey. I didn’t get a chance to observe mine and Holly’s attacker. A large pain shot through my face as the sole of the girl’s boot slammed into my face, the heel digging into my nose. I cried in pain and released my hold. She pushed me away and hurried to retrieve the vial she had dropped. Even from a few yards away, I could see the purple fog swirling about behind the glass. The woman threw a knife at me, attending to send it into my cranium. Quickly, I rolled over to the left, the dagger missing my face by mere centimeters.

“Holly!” I cried, jumping to my feet.

By now, she had wormed her way out of the knives and was stumbling about, leaning on the well for support. I ran up to her and held out my arms to steady her.

“I’m….weak. She…that b***h…she stole mi magic,” she growled. I laughed. She would be fine. I looked at the spot in which the girl had disappeared.

“By the looks of things, she’s heading North, towards the next Kingdom. I’ll see if I can stop her. You wait here,” I said, helping her to the ground.

“Don’t!” She protested. I turned to look at her and smiled.

“I’ll be back before you know it!” I said. With that, I cracked Azreal’s reins and took off once again through the forest.

　

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I dug my heels into the ground and came to a stop, allowing my head to plop against the trunk of a rotting maple tree. I gasped for air, allowing my eyes and body a moment of rest. I couldn’t wait here. I had to go. That damn Knight would be coming any minute now. I was sure of it.

I growled in frustration. It was supposed to be simple. Still the girl’s power, kill her off, and escape. But no! Her little “noble” boyfriend had to get in the way! His interference would certainly upset my plans. Nevertheless, a ranger is supposed to be prepared for anything. I held my breath and listened, waiting for any sound that was out of place or disturbing in a forest. No such sound was audible. I sighed in relief. After checking to make sure the vial was still in the leather pouch that hung at my hip, I pushed off the tree and began my descent through the forest. Another hundred miles or so and I would be home free.

It would be easy to throw the foolish knight of my tracks and safely take a back route to the next Kingdom over. The Western Kingdom. I would be able to return to my base there, rest, and turn the magic into the king. Then, once I collected my reward for slaying a witch(or, so it would appear once I presented the vial of magic) I could retire and give up this god awful life of thievery. Perhaps I could find me a lonely, good looking ranger boy…

Snap!

I dropped to my belly in mid-sprint, hitting the ground with a thud. Quickly and quietly, I used my elbows to pull myself beneath the concealment of a mulberry bush. I carefully rose to my knees and peered through a small glitch in the leaves. I couldn’t believe this! That dumbass!

I angrily watched the Knight dismount his horse and ease his way through the thickets. How could he have caught up with me so fast? It was that damn horse! It was too fast for my comfort. Then….I had it! I took the tip of my sixth dagger and used it to pry open the lid of the vial. Once that was done, I dipped the blade into purple fog. Once I pulled it out, the previously gray metal now glowed purple. I grinned maliciously. I waited silently as the Knight led his horse closer to the position I needed….closer…closer…closer.

The horse barely even made a sound. It’s knees trembled for a second, but it quickly fell to the ground. I should have ran right then and there, but I couldn’t. I was enjoying watching the Knight frantically attempt to pull the knife from his stead’s chest. It was useless. The magic prevented the blade from being pulled out of it’s target. I hadn’t hit the heart, so the horse didn’t just yet. Instead, it laid there, suffering. I could only imagine the agonizing pain it must have been going through. I held back a laugh.

Finally, the dumb brute died. Bored and determined to escape, I stood, ready to disappear without a trace. Once again, my plan was injured by such a simple factor. I cursed the freshly snapped twig underneath my breath and hit the ground once more.

“Hello?” The knight called. The sadness and fear in his voice made me smile. Grieve o’er your stupid animal all ya want, boy! It sure ain’t goin’ to bring em’ back! I had been caught, but still I couldn’t help but laugh at the fools misfortune. This angered him.

“Show yourself, Villain! Fight! Do not run!” he cried. By the rising in direction of hi voice, I assumed he had stood. I heard the slight clink and sliding of metal as he drew his sword from it’s hilt. I laughed even harder.

“Alright!” I said, standing up. My torso was now exposed to any attacks and I had only seven daggers left. Even with the odds stacked against me, I was confident I was going to kill the fool. “Ya got mi!”

“Give mi the vial!” he demanded.

“Hmm? Oh, ya mean this vial?” I asked mockingly, holding it up to show him. He nodded. “Hmm. Don’ think I will.”

“NOW!” he hollered. “Give me the vial or I’ll cut your throat! I’ll make sure you suffer just like you made my Azreal do!”

I didn’t bother to correct him. I had obviously stabbed the horse’s chest with an enchanted knife, not slit it’s throat with a sword.

“Is that a threat, Knight?”

“No! I promise!”

I rolled my eyes and fingered the handle of my dagger beneath my cloak.

“You Knights. Ya all so damn arrogant. Think ya can get what ya want cause you’s got a big bad sword and shiny clothes. Oh well, I reckon yer gonna have to learn it tha hard way.”

I swung my arm around, extending it towards the boy. Once it my elbow was bent at a 90 degree angles, I loosened my hold on the three blades held firmly between my knuckles. I released them only when my arm was even with my target. Almost immediately, the knight raised his sword, deflecting all three razors. I pulled my dagger out and sent that flying towards him as well. While he was preoccupied with determining the impact of the first knife, I sent a second whizzing towards his unprotected thigh. He noticed, but not in time.

His feeble attempt at dodging both daggers ended with one grazing his forearm, while the other landed in the dirt beside him. I ran forward and stepped on his arm as he reached out for his sword. The minute my fingers curled around the handle, I did a double take and shoved the blade into his lower calf muscle. He cried in excruciating pain as I twisted the sword in a 360 motion and jerked it out. A sickening yet satisfying ripping sound filled the air. I raised the sword, preparing to stab him again. However, I had failed to take notice of his uninjured arm. With a quick punch behind the knee, he sent me sprawling face forward into the dirt. I hit the ground hard enough for it to knock the very wind from my pipes. I lied there a moment, trying to regain my breath. In the short time period, the knight had managed to take possession of his sword and prop himself against a tree, preparing to hobble forward and stab me between the shoulder blades. How did I know this? It was written all over his face.

Unfortunately enough for him, I was smarter and a lot stronger than I appeared. I jumped to my feet and sprinted towards him, secretly drawing a new dagger. I prepared to toss it when the unspeakable happened. I tripped. A root had caught hold of pants leg and pulled me back to the earth. I was still close enough to strike. I tossed the knife. It landed with a thud in the bark right above his head. Perfect.

The knight grinned, thinking I had missed. However I was not aiming for his head…once his attention was turned back to me, I was already in the process of sweeping his feet out from under him! Once he was lying on his back, I snatched his sword and jumped to my feet. I kicked him in the face several times, and snapped his arm beneath my boot, insuring he could no longer wield his sword. Without saying a word, I raised it above my head. I planned a silent death. Say nothing, kill him, leave. But I couldn’t help myself.

“I’ll be sure to tell your girlfriend you said goodbye!”

I never got a chance to. The sword slipped from hands, my fingers unintentionally uncurling themselves. The blade stuck itself in the dirt beside his head. I fell to my knees, the pain shooting through me like nothing I had ever felt before. Dear Mother Mary it hurt like Hell! My mobility had been cut off and I completely collapsed to the ground. I felt my body twitch. With what small amount of energy I had left, I raised my arm and felt the back of my neck . I could fell the ivory of a blade sticking out from skin. I wrapped my fingers around the handle and jerked, trying to pull the dagger out. It wouldn’t budge. I pulled harder, only causing myself more pain. I looked over at the dead horse. The enchanted dagger was gone…and now stuck in the back of my neck. But how? Who?

“BLAKE!”

I slowly turned my head and looked at the girl. She was beat up and cut and dirty and obviously exhausted. Yet, she was leaning over the knight, tending to his wounds as if she herself were completely well. I watched the for awhile, not saying word. Not even able to if I wanted to say anything. Finally, once the boy was on his feet, leaning against the girl for support, they looked down at me. I snarled. I was a dead man. Might as well not give them the satisfaction.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the vial. Carefully, and with a tremulous hand, I lifted the vial up… and let it fall to the ground. The thin glass shattered, causing the purple fog to shot upward. It floated for a moment, unsure of where to go. Finally, it pinpointed its owner and darted towards the girl like a lost child to it’s mother. Once they had their whole dramatic “I’ve got my magic back” moment, the girl looked at me. Though she was obviously pissed cause of the fact I stole her magic and made an attempt to kill her boyfriend, there was a look of gratefulness behind her eyes. With my very last breath, raised my hand, keeping all fingers but my middle one enclosed as a fist. Then, my life drained and my hand crashed to the ground. I exhaled for the final time, still thinking about retirement and ranger men.

　

　

　

　

　

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And They Lived Happily Ever After…

                                 Sorta..............

Author's Note

The picture has absolutley nothing t dow ith the story...I just really liked it...

Reviews

[revenant21]

Great, Tori!! It was great! I enjoyed it. Very well written, a few spelling errors of course, but that is to be expected. I love the last little F you bird before you died. That was great. It was really good!

[Tori]

I"M THE RANGER GIRL THAT dIES!!!!!! Just so we got that clear...........I die......yup.

[Cassandra D.]

It was long to read, but it was worth it!
I thought the storyline was excellent!

[Sean M. Addams]

a very cool piece love the charcters and storyline in this alot... overall a very brillant write ..nice job!!!