Low

this one can relate to almost anyone.

 

Low

A time of dismay

When life itself feels unbearable

The light and happiness of life has faded away

When even the best of friends can’t help

A time when judgment is clouded

When you isolate yourself from reality

A time when your pages remain empty

Wanting only to be happy

But no good happens when you are low

 

Author's Note

a friend told me about this contest she has going and this is what i got so far for it.

Reviews

[Skye Céibhfhionn]

I love your word use; it is easier then to acknowledge a soul in pain. Many find it easier to write when in pain or confusion; we connect to readers easier then because we touch common grounds in them as well. I am impressed by your way of writing actually; clear and unhidden - even with hidden emotions and concepts :)

Keep on giving!

Share love,

Skye

[gravitylava]

Sweet. This is really good. You express great emotion in this piece, and describe the feeling of being alone really well. Good job.
nice.
-michelle

[Sarah]

i really like it.... for some reason.. the words brought tears to my eyes..... but i guess in a good way.... :)

[ATG]

That was an interesting poem. It was very well written

I think you described depression instead of the feeling low, but of course depression is a extreme feeling of being low so you are still accurate.

I like the title.

[Lyrical Love]

So far so good...
it seems like the start of something great.

[Last Lying Look]

I like this. It sounds like depression to me as well.
My favorite part was :
"When you isolate yourself from reality
A time when your pages remain empty"

I've had time where I create this world for myself, just to feel safe and happy, because real life wasn't bringing me that satisfaction anymore.

Great poetry!

[XxHerHeroxX]

dude you have talent

[Adrian K. Smith]

A piece to appeal to the masses, is a piece I often find well written. Some people decry them to be too vague, and that is because they are so pretentious. A work like this, lets the reader feel - it allows them to personalize it. Far too many people write for themselves, and I say they should just go get a blog and forget about the rest. Being low is a low place to be, and you have captured the gist well here - as I said, allowing the reader to own it as much if not more than you do... a well done poem. Thank you for sharing.

[Valentine]

A time when your pages remain empty..Each day in life is a page that we have to fill..If we are down hearted..that page goes past blank..Best never to let that happen..Get out, take a walk, visit a nursing home and see what low really is..It might make you glad you are alive..low or not..nice write..God bless...Valentine

[Fran Marie]

When life itself feels unbearableThe light and happiness of life has faded away


Sounds like a state of depression to me

been there many times myself~ light and happiness does indeed

fade away~ very well penned wnd expressed~THanks for for your entry to my contest

~Fran Marie