The Nightmare

I had to do this after dreams

The Nightmare

The pain in your sleep,

Thoughts that will scare the darkest of people.

A fight that can never be won.

Being chased thru a maze with no end,

A new enemy arouses from every turn.

Unable to move paralyzed were you stand,

Unable to yell out a plea for help.

Death comes but you remain immortal.

Just wanting it to end.

The light saves you from the eternal fate.

You awake in a cold sweat gasping for air,

It is finaly over.

But you cant escape it,

Sleep will find you somehow.

 

                  

Author's Note

what you think?

Reviews

[Mark Hampson]

The Nightmare
The pain in your sleep,
Thoughts that will scare the darkest of people.
A fight that can never be won.
Being chased thru a maze with no end,
A new enemy arouses from every turn.
Unable to move paralyzed were you are standing,
Unable to yell out a plea for help.
Death comes but you remain immortal.
Just wanting it to end.
The light saves you and brings you too.
You awake in a cold sweat gasping for air,
It is finaly over.
But you cant escape it,
Sleep will find you somehow.

As I mentioned in my comment about your other poem 'Dreams', I like the contrast you use between light and night. Here, 'Light' takes on a different form as it saves, but in 'Dreams' the word 'Light' is something less desired. I particularly like the line 'Death comes but you remain immortal.'. One of the best lines I've read since Coleridge and 'Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.'. Well done you!

[Nicole]

i think you are right, however you can try to control your dreams, if you can master the ability to have control of your unconcious as well as your concious
i am working on it, letting myself dream whatever when i think it can be a sort of preminition, but changing it when i do not like it

[Des]

It was good. Quite descriptive and very true. Very climatic poem.

[C. C. Burl]

Oh, this left me breathless.
Lovely lovely and very true.
Flora.

[Rachel DeHart]

I really like these lines:
You awake in a cold sweat gasping for air,
It is finaly over.
But you cant escape it,
Sleep will find you somehow.

I have night terrors, and you describe it wonderfully. I live on caffeine and insomnia, but you're right, sleep is a sneaky culprit.. it has some tricks, like necessity, that will catch up with you.

Great write.

[QuietPoet]

I liked this. You did a good job. Good imagery too.

[C.J.]

woo nice pic lol

[Sean M. Addams]

very interesting piece like the flow in this and lots of good imagery... nice job!!!