Muted Chaos

A lot in my head needed to start paying rent...

My inexorable crawl,

From my abyssal black,

Digging in ascent my nails…

 

Falling,

Breaking,

Settling in,

Healing,

Standing again…

 

All over again,

Again and again,

Without end in sight…

 

The muted chaos above,

Freedom masked smile,

Hiding hideous turmoil,

Finding the skies not just blue,

But swirled with grey and black,

Crimson highlights of a sunset,

Smelling deeply of ash,

Salt and sanguine fluids…

 

To see the adored around me,

Dancing the precipice of fate,

Partnered with the vortex’s edge,

The rains of burning ice,

Winds palpitating about,

Piercing chill stinging true,

Turns to deathly swelter repeatedly…

 

Straining my eyes of mine dart,

To see those closest to my own pit…

 

Coal ablaze under weight of three suns,

Uncooled by a proper moon…

 

The ram battling maternal patronage,

Head to head biting at own leash…

 

Broken and near dead beauty,

Still cracking wise despite the pain…

 

Used and confused charmer,

Not knowing to run or jump back in…

 

Ashen woman of sorrowed loss,

Abashed about which fence to cross over…

 

I stand watching,

Waiting to help any or all,

Yet trepidation waxes and wanes,

For care is the ultimate blade,

A double-edged sword welcomed,

To prick and slice without regard,

Yet I reach out for it…

 

Stung,

Sliced,

Bleeding,

Wound upon wound,

I reach out again…

 

My risk of falling in,

To the pits of others revered,

Because I am but me alone,

Denial unable to change resolution,

Darkness striving to be,

The better man hidden below…

 

With an empty reprieve,

Shrouded in adoration,

Yet I help over and over again,

Scars layered with scars,

Wounds unhealed cut open again,

Deeper and deeper,

Sometimes to the very bone…

 

Without weeping much,

Without asking for a return,

Risking sanity and internal strife,

To see another smile once more,

I reach out into the muted chaos,

Distance between a welcomed issue,

For it is not about me in any case,

My time to shine yet in history coming to pass.