Impetus

More in dealing with a break-up.

What chokes me up inside,

Is in that you I can't confide

Once connected; a soul so deep,

Now third wheel; a classic creep

Time divided, shuttered and closed,

Friendly gestures give now imposed

Metered youth a reprieve for you directly,

Assistance dispensed yet somehow incorrectly

Feel betrayed by words so sweet,

A digital configuration upon my bedsheet

For what abject horrors did I bring,

Not once audience to hear you sing

Expanse so meager in breadth and view,

What volume of outcome tore it askew

Tears partisan of author before you,

No false purpose of attempt to woo

Dead air between us once again,

Only things left are words I pen

So take you leave despite my affections,

Elated I will be of your life corrections

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The rhyme scheme...
in this one I see...
I wonder if breaking the lines...
would give this more...
and still keep the sequence in order...
like an example:

What chokes me up inside,
Is in that you I can't confide

Once connected; a soul so deep,
Now third wheel; a classic creep
---
What chokes me
up inside,
Is in that you
I can't confide
---
Once connected;
a soul so deep,
Now third wheel;
a classic creep
---
the pace goes and the rhyme is not noticed --- hindered...

[Wynter Ignatius]

Interesting - I might have to play with this one and see what I can do with it.

[Alex Ryder]

Wow! I love the way you depict the pain of loss. Good job!

[Wynter Ignatius]

I have always had an easier time with negativity than positive emotions, but that is changing.