Now I See

Dealing with a break-up.

Generosity turned 
towards propensity
Two ways 
about your singularity
Give in to things 
I can not see
To be the man 
I'm meant to be

Hindered by 
my own longevity
Not welcomed 
by your sincerity
Lighting the match 
before I flee
To burn a trail 
midst the sea

Soul weak of 
it's own frailty
No longer 
gifted of your courtesy
No longer 
the same I think of thee
Just an us; 
no plural we

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Liked the added touch in the end...

Just an us; no plural we ---

again I would do this like ---
I mentioned in the previous one...
break up and give the read --- breathing room:


Generosity turned towards propensity
Two ways about your singularity
Give in to things I can not see
To be the man I'm meant to be

Hindered by my own longevity
Not welcomed by your sincerity
Lighting the match before I flee
To burn a trail midst the sea

Soul weak of it's own frailty
No longer gifted of your courtesy
No longer the same I think of thee
Just an us; no plural we
-------
Generosity turned
towards propensity
Two ways
about your singularity
Give in to things
I can not see
To be the man
I'm meant to be

Hindered by
my own longevity
Not welcomed
by your sincerity
Lighting the match
before I flee
To burn a trail
midst the sea

Soul weak of
it's own frailty
No longer
gifted of your courtesy
No longer
the same I think of thee
Just an us;
no plural we

[Wynter Ignatius]

I kind of like that. I tend to write how I think with a little embellishment when it suits the piece.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

If you read my version...you can get a rock and roll song beat to it...now that I read it again...

[Wynter Ignatius]

I see it now and made the change. Thanks for the suggestion Glen.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...you can see the life of it...now...the words add more impact...and the reader is focus with the lines...