Yearning

Youthful yearning

The flame that represents your life glows brightly
basking all who are near in your aura

It is I who secretly yearns to be one of your chosen,
to loom in the love and warmth of your light

I hear your name whispered in the dark, only to realize
it has fallen from my lips

My heart cries out to be near you,
I am here why can you not see me

Why do you not know who I am
but I am cut off and in the dark

~Wycked~
 

Author's Note

Discussion welcome

Reviews

[Bruce Bray]

love this write..
beginning with the idea that this person is so special, that their aura affects those who come near..
interesting the way the writer represents being ONE of the chosen, and not THE ONE chosen..
i like that a lot..
the name falling from the lips is such an eloquent way to put this..
the representation of being ignored, "cut off and in the dark", i love that..

love this write..

[Elzereth]

Very beautiful and moving. I could feel he emotion and it flowed very smoothly. Well done!

[R. L. Ambar]

I loved it, very few times i have been knocked off my feet by such simple poetry, but there was something about this, maybe the words used that took my breath away. Not to mention the word 'Yearning' is by far my most beloved word of the english language, very, very well done. I look forward to reading more into your work.

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Rocher

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i think it is very nicely done..it has a smooth flow and i enjoy the simplicity and lack of length to it...it shows a nice balance

[~angelalala~]

this poem describes the desperation of yearning perfectly. beautifully written, lovely flow.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Wycked,

I think you've done a wonderful job incapsulating "youthful yearning". The images are quite wonderful, in fact. But I might suggest tighting the poem. There are lots of words that are not needed, and I think that would increase the intensity of the poem.

Best regards,

Rick