Hoffnunglos

A poem wrote for my 11th grade English class. 10 of the words used in this poem had to be used for the assignment (they were part of that week's vocabulary). Hoffnunglos means "hopelessness" in German

I drew the blade from its sheathe.
I swallowed the malignant metal.
I embraced the chill that swam down my spine.
I stood with wooden arms welcoming and averting both factions.
I am hopeless.

I took hold of my abnegation.
I took away that rescindment from hands not of my own.
I cultivated the deluging dichotomy brewing inside me.
I am hopeless.

I recanted everything I did.
I absolved every thought spilt from my mind.
I abdicated the nurturing of my health and let it wither in hopelessness.
For I am the hopelessness.

I waived my authority.
I shoved contradiction down my swollen throat.
I strangled a budding catharsis as I received it with warmth.
I am hopeless.

I am riven by plaguing countermands.
The warring words and thoughts cradling our psychosis.
I stare achingly into an empty glass sphere for light.
But you are hopeless. Eyes lightless.

I chew sour capsules, savoring the trapped taste in my teeth.
Yet I still yearn for both individuality and consistency.
To recoup it all is to massacre an abhorrent grave.
Reunification is the violation of our dissentience.
We are hopeless.