Tales of Gold

a story of wealth and greed

A stream he had found, while wandering around

Through miles of mountain trails

Broken and sore, from looking for

That big strike where he’d prevail,

 

Years and years he had endeavored

With just a trace now and then to show

He had dipped his pan, across the land

Everywhere that he would go,

 

He knew what signs to look for

He had struck it rich before

But money earned, is quickly burned

From a wealthy man, now he was poor,

 

So about to cash in his chips

He sat down on the bank of a stream

Bending over to drink, he could scarcely think

Of what was causing that shimmering gleam,

 

The sun shown bright and clearly

Through the sparkling little creek

He dug his hand, into the sand

Would this finally be his lucky streak,

 

He slowly pulled out his fist

And opened it up to see

Well he just stared, at the nuggets there

How much dough could there really be,

 

He worked day in and day out

Pulling his treasure from the sand

From big to small, he gathered it all

He’d be the richest man in the land,

 

But greed seemed to take control

While filling his bags with all they could hold

Then he loaded his pack, threw it over his back

Slipped and fell from the weight of the gold,

 

A stream I found, while wandering around

In the hills near my mountain home

When to my surprise, right before my eyes

A tattered old pack….. on a pile of bones.

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

a very powerful narrative. it is a telling morality tale about our search for material wealth, which never ends in a good place. following this one man we see the story play out. here he is, surrounded by beautiful nauture, yet all he can think about is wht he can extract out of it. that said, he is a rather symapthetic tragic hero. who doesn't want to strike it rich? a part of me hoped he would succeed. yet glory is always short-lived.
the consistent rhymes was also impressive. if we add music to it, the tone could completely change. is this a blues or more upbeat like waltzing matilda? but the story at the heart of this ensures it is a strong work no matter how it's sung.

[Trace]

Thank you so very much for your wonderful comments and compliments on this piece, l like telling stories in poetry.
Trace

[Azifwecare]

first off I love the cover picture you used, beautiful and serene setting. The story was great. He'd hit it big time and again then lost it all. Then you stumble upon his winnings and what's left of him. Wow, just wow!

[Trace]

Thank you my friend for reading and commenting on my poetry, so sorry it took me so long to respond.

Huggs, Trace

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW, what a great story, Trace! He was greedy and put too much gold in that backpack. It was his ruination. Ah, but you were the lucky one who stumbled upon it. If only, right? You have always been a wonderful story teller. I enjoyed this. Lydi**

[Trace]

I enjoyed writing this poetic story. Living in the west and working in a precious metals mine as I do.
It just kinda rolled of my tongue. And as a lot of my poems and stories do come from my own life experiences...... I will only say that I am not allowed to disclose the contents of that withered old leathe pouch I found in a dry stream bed.

Thank you for reading and for your always encouraging compliments my friend.

Trace

[Lydia Shutter]

You mysterious one!

[TL Boehm]

a cautionary tale to be sure. The things that cause us to work and sweat - will be the death of us - this poem is wonderfully crafted.

[Trace]

Thank you so very much. It is always such a pleasure to read your wonderful comments and compliments.
They are greatly appreciated.

Trace

[Shekinah2015]

We have surely destroyed ourselves with our greed. Thank you for writing a poem exposing the fact. My favorite stanza is the one before the last. I also like how you rhyme "found" with "around" and "sore" with "for" in the first stanza.

[Trace]

Thank you so very much for your excellent comments.
I enjoyed writing this poem and using the rhyming style
I learned from my favorite poet: "Robert Service".
I am pleased that you liked my work.

Trace

[eransodhi]

Really nicely written with a wonderful moral.

[Trace]

Thank you so very much for reading and commenting on this piece.

Trace

[s y e]

Firstly, can I just say I've missed you Trace.

Secondly, this is simply amazing, I love the story you told and the wording with the vivid imagery. The structure of the poem was divine and as always, written to perfection -- You amaze me, still to this day.

I am truly you're number one fan!

[Trace]

It is always so nice to see you. Thank you for catching up on my poetry.
Your comments and compliments are greatly appreciated.
And you honor me as my biggest fan.

HUGGS. Trace

[Matching Socks]

Fabulous story Trace. Just goes to show...

[Trace]

Thank you so very much, so nice to see you.

Trace

[Ronny]

Nice story Trace.
Greed has take many mans life, and you have put it nicely together here.
I believe you've found some of your own gold with this poem :)

Thanks for sharing :)

[Trace]

So glad you enjoyed my little story..... but I ain't telling you where that stream is.
Thank you for the wonderful comments.

Trace

[Ronny]

Your welcome.
It really looks like the picture could be taken in a Norwegian forest somewhere. :)

[MsJewel]

Love this Trace and the message it holds. Your talent never ceases to amaze me.

Hugs, Julie

[Trace]

Seems I am always picking up rocks and looking for gold.
What I need to be looking for is an old ragged pack on a pile of bones..

And wouldn't you know it...... I did. In the mirror.

Thank you my dear friend for your lovely compliments and comments.

HUGGS. Trace

[MsJewel]

Shame on you - handsome beast - you are not a pile of bones...