I swear

A Story by darabi

I swear I didn't push her.

We had gone to a party together, that's all I swear. She fell on her own. It wasn't my hands that pushed her down the hill causing severe head trauma and killing her. It wasn't my shaky body that dragged her into the woods desperate to hide my mistake. Know one thought to question me. Because I'm too nice to do something like that. I loved Camira hunter too much to push her down that hill. So why was her ghost following me everywhere? Why was she blaming me? I didn't do it. I swear. But I still feel the guilt as if it was my hands that pushed her. I feel dirty now. I constantly wash my hands trying to wash away the sin I didn't do. I swear. I couldn't wash my hands anymore. They were red and scraped from constantly scrubbing my guilt away. Everyone thought it was grief. I swear it is.

I swear I would never hurt her. I loved her. I swear. But something went wrong. She was abandoning me. Moving away to go to a college that she didn't need to go to. She was smart. She didn't need to leave. We were walking home from the party when she started stumbling closer to the edge. I went to catch her but instead my palms connected with her chest giving her the final shove down the hill. I couldn't live with the guilt anymore. I would constantly see her haunting face among the shadows asking me, “why would you kill me? I thought you loved me…you liar…” I did love her. I swear. I knew what she wanted. She told me at night while I tried to sleep away my guilt so I got dressed and had my morning coffee ignoring the yelling of her angry spirit before I walked out of my life and into the police station, my face pale but my voice calm and confident as I spoke, "I murdered Camira hunter."