Confession

Heartbreak

My hands shake ferociously, I try to calm them down and hide it by rubbing my arms. The tight feign smile on my lips began to hurt my jaw. I need to move my mouth. Slowly I begin to feel the sweat forming at my lower back and hands. Nausea building in my stomach. I can’t even look up. “Rachel whats wrong?” I feel a finger under my chin, forcing eye contact. As soon as I see his bright beautiful lively eyes I have to divert my gaze. I could see the concerns in the deep blues of his iris, but that only makes it worse. I don’t know how to tell him. Suddenly the hours spent practicing in the mirror are gone. I feel my heads about to bursts, I yearn to tell him. I need to tell him. But it seems like the words are just dancing at the tip of my tongue and I can’t catch them. “Rachel tell m-”
    “I love you.” my heart contracts and falls slightly as I cut him off.
    “W-what..” He stutters quietly.
    “I love you,” I say again, stealing a glance at him only to truly regret it. Looking into his eyes, mine can only fill with tears as I only see horror and shock. Tears start to silently flow as I hang my head in utter shame. “I’m sorry,” I say, defeated and gutted.
    “I need to go,” he states quickly, wasting no time in making space between us. Full of pity he looks at me, then makes one more step back.
    “No please,” I begin.
    “No. I need to go.” He says finally. Making sure I can read the seriousness on his face. He gets up to go and I feel it. I feel my heart being torn and broken. I feel my sense of security, happiness, and love go with him. All our laughs and late conversations leaving me. Leaving my heart. Leaving everything I felt was never-ending. My dreams of growing old and loving him disappearing. My dreams of a little boy with his freckles vanishing. Everything leaving. Again I feel my heart moving, shattering, falling into the pit of my stomach. I want to reach out, stop him, scream. But I can’t. Suddenly I’m too weak to moves. He opens the door but hesitates.
    “I’m sorry James,” I weakly let out.
    “No, I’m sorry.” He mumbles and leaves. My stomach drops harder and going down with it all the butterflies, chills, and nervousness he ever gave me with it.
    “I’m sorry,” I repeat alone. I can’t help the loud sob that breaks through me. Everything I ever knew to be true crumbles before me. I begin to shake. All I can do is ask myself, why did I fall for my best friend?

Author's Note

Most likely grammar mistakes, sorry! Enjoy.

Reviews

[magensby]

Sometimes we can allow the grammatical errors if we stay true to the feelings we attempt to reveal. Nice buildup to the final reveal of the reason for her hesitancy. It allowed the reader to feel the angst building up to the sad reaction of her declaration. It showed that she knew how he would react. It didn't lessen the blow but she knew anyway.

Sometimes some things are best left unsaid. Thnx for the read.

[CuddlyCat]

Thank you so much for the review! :)

[Olivia Danielle]

This is beautiful. I think this is something we can all relate too, either we've had someone make a similar confession or we've made a similar confession to others.