10. The first few days...

WARNING: small details of rape Also the song here is called "The Real You" by Three Days Grace if you want to check it out! :) I just kinda thought it fit the theme... maybe

Since it’s my first night here, Caine and I stay up eating chips and binge watching a ton of shows I’ve missed out on. There’s one, Doctor Who (?), that I’ve taken a particular liking to and now we are on the second season that Caine has in DVD when my phone buzzes on the bedside table. I reach over to it and flip it open; there are tons of messages from unknown numbers and even more in my e-mail. I am slightly afraid to open them, knowing that they are probably about the video.

            Caine notices and reaches over, asking for the phone for himself but I ignore him and open the first one, against his protests. The first one was by email from a user named

‘[email protected]’:

                                Shouldn’t you be locked up for what you did? What the hell is wrong with you, murdering someone and then pretending that it’s all okay? You had a good reason for it?? Guess what, f*g, murder is still murder!

            I heave in a deep breath, wincing as it hurts my injured lung. I almost drop the phone from shock. Caine again asks me to give him the phone, but I deny. I am strong... I can handle a bit of hate mail. Lies, you’ll break soon. You always do... the evil little voice in my head taunts. There are tons. Some telling me I should’ve killed myself instead, some saying that Michael needed justice, name calling; lots and lots of name calling. Eventually I just drop my phone to the mattress and settle in against Caine, allowing him to hold me as I sob. His warm chest is pressed against mine and I bury my face in between his shoulder and neck. He doesn’t say anything; he just lets me cry it out, which seems to be all I’ve been doing recently. Caine rubs his hand up and down my back and plants little kisses in my hair until I fall asleep.

____

            I wake up the sometime in the middle of the night, sweaty and shivering, still lying against Caine. He is asleep with his arms still around me and, unwilling to get up just yet, I curl up tighter against him, taking in everything about him. He smells like axe. I feel safe against him, as if he could protect me from the world. I kiss his neck softly; appreciative of everything that he’s done and went through with me; because of me. I love this man. I am in love with him. Just the thought of losing him now causes me to shudder violently and grip him tightly.

“Jared, are you okay,” he whispers.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good just... sorry I woke you,” I sigh.

“S’okay, J; what is bothering you? You’re shaking,” he responds, pulling back to look at my face. I blush, not wanting to confess just yet.

“Nothing, just a bad dream... I’m okay now.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m here for you, it is okay,” he responds. "Is it because of those messages?" 

"Kind of, yeah... I- yeah..."

"J, you don't have to listen to them. They don't know you, they don't know the whole story." He sits up and pulls me with him.

“But Caine, even so, what if those people were right? What if...what...I...Caine I’m scared,” I stutter into his chest. "I can't do this anymore. It's too much. I-I can't...it's so overwhelming."

“I know baby, I know. But I promise you will make it through this, okay? You have people who love you so don’t ever give up,” he begs me, pulling me ever closer and rubbing my back. “I love you, and I’ll always be here for you. You can't give up J. I need you here with me, okay? I love you J."

            A broken sob escapes me at his words and I can’t speak. I want to say ‘I love you’ back but I’m too choked up. I hiccup sobs continuously for a while in his arms and give up trying to speak. He rocks back and forth whispering soothing words in my ear and I cling tighter, allowing myself to completely let go. Everything hurts but I still hold on to him. As I quiet down a bit more, Caine lies us down and holds me to him.

“C-Caine, I, I love you too. My hero...” I smile as I finally regain my voice. It feels so good to say it; so good to hear it from him.

“Get some more sleep, sweetheart, I’ll be here when you wake up,” he whispers as I drift off, “I love you.”

“Where are we going Michael,” I ask as my boyfriend drives down an unfamiliar road.

“Somewhere private,” he answers shortly. I shudder at the vague answer, afraid of what it might mean. I don’t argue or ask any more questions. It would only anger him. We sit in silence, the radio hums quietly in the background. My heart hammers the deeper we get into a wooded area. I recognize it as a sort of Nature Park with trails and camp sites all over. There are plenty of places to hide.

                Finally Michael slows the car down and parks at the edge of a wooded area. He turns the car off and slides over to where I sit stiffly. My suit I wore to the school dance suddenly feels very tight and restricting; I can’t breathe. I try not to wince because he will notice. It would upset him. He grabs my chin softly and forces me to look at him.

“I love you Jared. You know that don’t you? Do you love me,” he asks. His breath reeks of booze and I hold back from wincing.

“Y-yeah, of course I do. I...I love you too,” I smile weakly.

“Good,” he growls and leans in for a kiss. I turn away but instantly regret it as his nails dig into my arm painfully. He grips my chin again and forces his lips to mine. I have no choice but to obey or he will hit me. He tastes of alcohol and something else I probably don’t want to identify. His kiss is rough and unenjoyable our stubbles rub together painfully. I hate this. I hate him. But I would never say that aloud. Finally he pulls away and relief floods my system. It’s over. But it’s not...

“Get in the back; now,” he demands. The relief quickly dies away and is replaced by cold fear. No, no, no...He can’t. “Now, Jared,” he adds and pulls off his coat shirts. I swallow the giant lump in my throat and do as I am told. Maybe I can prolong this...distract him, or maybe he’ll pass out.

‘Please, God, let this not happen, I beg of you,’ I silently pray. But I know that if this is what he wants, it will be what he gets. I feel the seats shift and suddenly Michael is there next to me. He pulls me to him again and kisses me harder before demanding that I remove my suit jacket. “Mike, I don’t know if I’m up for this. I’m really feeling sick,” I reply, hoping he will buy the story.

“Don’t care...I’ve waited too long,” he growls, shoving my shirts off himself. Now we are both bare from the waist up and I shiver, truly and utterly terrified. He shoves me onto my stomach, shoving my face roughly into the dirty leather seats.

“Michael, please, don’t do this. Not now,” I beg him. But he doesn’t listen. Those next few moments blend together as he takes from me what he wants. I am naked. I am scared. I am alone. I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting.

Pain; the pain is unbearable. I scream into the seats. I am being ripped apart. Michael is relentless in his attack and I am powerless to stop it. Tears fall and I slowly lose my faith, my hope. At this moment I know that I want to die. “Please...please help me” I whisper. It falls on deaf ears.

 

            “Jared! Jared, wake up. It’s just a dream, baby; wake up.”

            I open my eyes to see Caine above me. He looks worried. Fresh tears fall from my eyes as the memory replays through my head. I cover my face and curse, tired of all the damned tears. I’m broken; damaged.

“Jared, are you okay,” Caine asks, resting a hand softly on my cheek.

“I-I am, yeah...It was just a dream...” I repeat, glancing around the room.

“Tell me, please,” he sighs, visibly relaxing a bit.

“It was...a memory from-from that night when...with Michael,” I answer, looking away in shame.

“Oh babe I’m sorry,” he replies. “Is there anything I can do,” he adds.

“Not really...” I sigh, covering my face once again.

“Okay, well, I am going to go make some breakfast. I’ll be right back, k?”

            “Mkay...thanks.” Another violent shudder wracks my body. The nightmare...it was so real; as if I was living that night all over again. I sit up as best I can and try to find something on television to watch. I find some comedy which doesn’t do much but it’s still a small and welcome distraction. I don’t even register the name as some guy goes around trying to impress some girl. I receive a quick text from Becca asking if I’m alright as well as telling me how it is at college. After a short while the smell of bacon wafts through the room and causes my stomach to growl in hunger. As if summoned, Caine walks through the door with a large tray filled with many plates and two glasses. There are plates of bacon, pancakes, eggs, sausage, hash browns, and orange juice in glasses. It’s as if he robbed a scene from a family magazine.

“I didn’t know what you’d like,” He blushes as he sets the tray on the bed. He grabs one plate of bacon and sausage.

“It looks amazing, Caine. Thank you,” I answer, unsure of where to start. I pick up a plate of my own sausage and bite into it, moaning as the flavor bursts on my tongue. “It’s amazing,” I blush, taking a piece of bacon. We talk about small things like cars, interests in movies, books, whatever as we eat, learning more about one another. We chat about our future goals and plans which now include one another. He promises with a wink that one day he’ll claim me as a husband, which causes me to blush but feel a soar of joy.

“I will hold you to that,” I smirk, brushing our shoulders. As we finish our food he cleans it up a bit and returns where Caine continues introducing me to movies and shows I had never before seen; Star Wars, Supernatural, Sherlock, Big Bang Theory and some horror movies, Saw, which wasn’t my favorite, Beetle Juice. Next he brings out some video games and his Xbox system to show me some games and teaches me to play. I particularly enjoy the one called ‘Minecraft’. It continues on until it is once again dark out. Eventually I lay back to sleep.

“Caine...will you stay tonight again,” I ask him.

“Of course, love, if that’s what you want,” he answers with a chuckle.

“Yeah, please,” I sigh, settling in against his chest again.

“You should be off bed rest soon, you know. I looked it up and lung injuries don’t take that long to heal. Maybe another day or two and you should be okay,” Caine explains, wrapping me up in his arms.

“Hmm? Awesome,” I mumble sleepily.

“Get some sleep,” he chuckles.

I will never give up on you

I see the real you

Even if you don’t I do

I do

I will never give up on you

I see the real you

Even if you don’t I do

I do

            Caine is singing. I don’t know what the song is but it’s nice. His voice is soft, soothing. I sigh against him as he continues, soaking in the words.

If you’re the one to run, to run,

I’ll be the one, the one you run to!

If you’re the one, the one to run,

I’ll be the one, the one you run to!

            I fall into a dreamless sleep that night with those words. 

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: (Nature Park with trails and camp sites) campsites
(unenjoyable our stubbles) stubble's

Review: Can't go wrong with Dr. Who :~)
You have worked your way through all the stages needed to build your story and you did it right. Now you just need to justify your characters actions and lay out the boundaries of the relationship and how they will face the hardships they will face. That should take a few chapters then all that is left is to decide if you plan to conclude the story or if there will be a secqual so you can plan out the big finish Clap! Clap! Clap! CLap!

[WriterGirl101]

Thank you so much as always. :)
I am actually very excited to do the next few chapters. There is at least one big surprise and then I finish it off. :)

[WriterGirl101]

I am not good at hate-mail/meaness. I think that's obvious here but I tried. XDXD