Anti-Christmas Spirit

A Story by WriterWannabe

Four fictional Christmas characters plot revenge against Santa Claus...

"Ho! Ho! Ho" Santa exclaimed from his flying sleigh filled with reminders of corporate selfishness and greed called gifts lying deceptively inside to be given away to seemingly good little girls and boys. Are these material items gifts...or curses?

Hearing the booming echoes of Santa's Christmas rhetoric, Dr. Seuss's green, hairy Grinch, sat in a high-rise cave accompanied by Charles Dickens's Ebenezer Scrooge, the abominable snowman, and Jack Frost from the chestnuts Christmas song. The Grinch grimaced in disgust as he furrowed his uni-brow at the agonizing joyful sounds coming from an overweight old-timer who was apparently weightless with the help of eight flying reindeer. The irony was maddening!

"All right, you guys. We all know why we're here," said the Grinch.

"To keep ourselves safe from the storms?" the abominable snowman asked.

"No!" Grinch said impatiently. "We're here because we all hate Christmas! Each year Santa never fails to use us as scapegoats to make himself look more appealing to children and parents alike, promising them all they want and more, asking for their obedience in return. Scrooge, why does this always tick us off like a time bomb?"

"Bah! Humbug!" Scrooge complained.

"Hey! Watch your language!" Grinch said.

"I'm sorry, Grinch. It just makes me so mad!" Scrooge said. "To answer your question, it's outrageous because Santa instills greed and selfishness in youngsters too early in life, which usually follows them throughout their lives."

"That is exactly correct, Scrooge!" Grinch said. "Why else,Jack?"

"Similar to the government, Santa spreads propaganda about how evil we are and how good he is, while urging people to believe in him and buy useless stuff they don't need."

"Also very true, Jack! And last but not least, because of his internationally widespread rumors, he convinces children that video games and toys are more important than reading books. The bottom line is: If children stop reading books, not only will they become numb robots. But we and the stories we come from will disappear from existence."

Wailing sobs sounded off the cave walls from the abominable snowman, booming into everyone's ear canals. Jack Frost crossed over to the snowman's side with comforting intentions, when the snowman strangled his body tightly like a straight jacket, desperate for reassurance.

"Snowman! Let go of Jack! His face is turning blue, and not from the cold!" the Grinch commanded.

"I'm sorry, Grinch," the snowman whimpered while loosening his grip, letting Jack scurry back to his corner like a caffeinated cockroach. "It's just what you said scared me. Especially since I'm less known than all of you."

Scrooge looked at the snowman with somber sympathy, but didn't dare reassure him.

"It's going to be okay, snowman," Grinch said, sparing Scrooge any reassurance attempts. "After tonight, everyone will look at you as their hero."

"They will?" the snowman asked with a sniffing nose and running tears.

"Yes, they will," Grinch confirmed. "I have a plan that will please everyone except Santa. Snowman, how would you like to be a bodyguard?"

"As long as that ancient fatty gets what he deserves, sure!"

"That's what I like to hear!" Grinch said with his trademark evil grin. "Now everyone huddle in and listen closely. Here are the plans..."