Surprise

Who says you need to blow candles, to get what you want on your birthday?

“I have to tell you something” Lisa said to me. We were standing in the corridor of her apartment building. Her sea blue eyes under the dim light of the hall, was filled with mock sadness. “What?” I asked her, slightly puzzled.

Just then, I noticed her lips pursed themselves. As if she was trying hard to not smile. Or maybe she was just picking her next words really carefully.

“I…” She hesitated and eventually sighed. “I forgot your birthday”.

As she said that, for a split second I thought she was joking and that this has to be one of her tricks. It had to be.

My mind was trying to give itself so many reasons why she could be just kidding. At any moment, she would open the front door of her apartment and yell “Surprise!”

A stereotype surprise birthday party.

But slowly, realization began to sink it and it dawned on me that fact that she actually forgot. This entire day she didn’t say a thing about my birthday. The whole day we went shopping, eating or just hanging out, she didn’t say a thing. And now she must have remembered it and she was being honest with me.

Typical Lisa.

“I am so sorry” she whispered and approached to hug me.

Still, I could believe it. Or rather, I refused to. With all the hints I dropped over the last few days and all those marks I made on her calendar, how could she forget?

Even a person with Alzheimer’s disease would have remembered.

I

felt my face fall, my heart saddened and my eyes were filling themselves with tears. Tears I thought were suppose to be of happiness today, born due to the thought of my friends and family all around me and a big cake, celebrating the day of my existence.

Now, useless tears rolled off my cheeks. This time, they were filled with nothing but disappointment.

“I am sorry” Lisa said again, still hugging me. As if that could lessen anything I feel right now. “No, no. It’s alright” I gently shrugged her off and fluttered my hands across my cheeks, trying to wipe away my current session of outpour.

I knew I was being stupid. It’s just a birthday! I wasn’t like anyone died (thankfully).

“But I am really sorry” Lisa began rummaging around her bag. Looking for her house key, I suppose. “It’s not a problem” I tried to smile. “It’s just my stupid 18^th birthday”, -which I have been planning since a year ago and eagerly waiting each day till I turn legal. “I’ll have another birthday next year” I said to her.

I think my word’s deceived her. Only I knew how false they really were.

“Oh…” Lisa looked thoughtful “So you mean to say that you don’t mind if we don’t do anything at all?” she stuffed the key in the lock.

“Yes...” I replied, sniffing my misery away.

“That’s too bad” Lisa slowly pushed the door open. Her living room was clothed in darkness.

“What’s too bad?” I asked, confused again.

But before she could have said anything, her living room erupted in light and instantly a loud cheer of “SURPRISE!!” filled the air.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this for fun, as you can see. I always end up smiling, every time I read this piece

Reviews

[Wandering Violet]

I like the twist! Oh dear, the poor girl must have nearly had a heart attack after going through all that!

[Bonnie Hines]

I really enjoyed reading this story! It wasn't too long so it kept my attention and the end totally surprised me that the mom actually didn't forget her girl's birthday whereas with most stories that turn out predictable, the writer usually gives off hints to surprise conclusions that end up spoiling the store's ending. awesome work!

[r]

Awww!! Now im happy again, since i just read Solace! This makes me smile.it is SO sweet!!

[...]

i just finished reviewing one of your other stories, so it feels wierd to be reviewing this one so soon, but after reading it i feel like i have to say SOMETHING.

It's very well written, and you do a good job of making characters seem real. It wasn't like I was reading it and thinking, 'that's not how a person would really feel.' The way you describe feelings is very vivid and very believable. From personal experience (not a surprise party, though) i can honestly say i would react the same way. I thought the same thing after reading your other story, which tells me that it's a special skill or talent that you have, and you're very good at using it in your stories.

One thing i'd like to criticize though is the title. I didn't pay much attention to it, but i think that if i did it would have spoiled the ending for me and possibly lessened the emotional impact of the story.

[itsjustme]

haha very cute i think its impossible not to smile at the end lol. i'd be like "psh. psh i knew all along." lol

[Kon™]

Great, cute story. I smiled at the end. Although predictable, it was still fun and you just wanted to see the joy in realization that her friend actually didn't forget. Nice job :)

[Cotton Ball]

You know, I never had a surprise party, but I can imagine that that would be the worst way, tricking me into believing that they forgot and then yelling surprise. It was simple and it made me smile at the end, great job!

[MissWordSmith]

cute! simple and sweet!

[Kiynteyh]

Nice story. Though it's obvious how the story is going to end, at the same time, you can't help but wonder, did she really forget or is it a trick? You really feel like you're seeing things from the main character's pov. I'm glad it worked out in the end. Great story! :D

[Ama May Cooper]

The perfect suprize party i do have to say.. filled with a sadness replaced by the shouts.
A gret piece of work