Listening To Raindrops

Read a small piece in a book. Gave me an idea.

Drop. Drop. Drop.

I opened my eyes to the sullen sound of rain hitting the glass of the window pane. I snuggled closer into my pillow and watched rain drops as they slid down the misty glass in rivulets, to suddenly disappear over the edge.

I slightly shuffled, trying to stretch in bed, but found myself unable to move around

Then I remembered.

With my hands curled up on either side of me, his hands were securely wrapped around my waist.

I smiled.

It had to be at least seven thirty in the morning and the rain from last night still hadn’t stopped. Unconsciously, I looked down at the light blue shirt he let me wear for the night. Another smile played on my lips as I made a mental note to thank Stacy for not being able to pick me up.

“I am so sorry! I can’t pick you up. The rain is just crazy out here. I can’t even step out of the house!”

I began mentally calculating. If I got up, he would definitely wake up too, and refuse to go back to sleep. Sleep didn’t come to him so often and he wasn’t modest enough to doze back off. And yesterday was exhausting for both of us. The meeting, our presentation, his car breaking down, a mile long walk under the heavy rain...

So without a choice, I happily stayed where I was and continued to watch the rain falling down the side of the window.

Softly, he groaned beside me and pulled me closer in his sleep. Unaware of the fact of what he had just done, as my back slowly collided with his chest.

Gently, I turned around to look at him.

He looked so peaceful. Slow breath escaped his lips and a day old beard began surfacing across the side of his squared jaw. His closed eyes were gently moving from left to right and clearly it looked as if he were dreaming.

I turned my head to its former position facing away and suddenly froze as he groaned again. This time, he brought one of his hand across me and found my fingers, automatically entwining them together. His warm hands thawing my frozen fingers with just one touch.

Silently I giggled to myself. I wonder what he was dreaming about.

Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I opened them to find dull rays of sunlight peeking through the thick curtains in our dimly lit room. The light fell on a little spot in my hand. Glittering, as it focused on an engagement ring on my finger, and again I couldn’t help smiling.

Thinking about how he proposed, awkwardly bending on one knee, and bringing out a black velvet box.

“Will you marry me?”

Instinctively, I shuffled closer to him at that thought. I could feel his breath down my neck and I slightly shivered, touching the tips of my toes against the thick quilt that cover us.

The sound of the rain was still imminent and the soft breaths he took, made everything around me mute down to these two things. The cold, gray room, his hands around me, the ring…

 I found myself happily sighing. Moments like this when the entire world seemed perfect was hard to describe. Moments when you wished time would just stop and you would be stuck in that small space of oblivious happiness forever.

Moment like this…

Slower than before, I turned my head to face his and before I knew what I was doing, I placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“I love you” I whispered, touching the tip of my frozen nose to the base of his neck. Not caring whether he heard it or not. I knew he loved me more than anyone.

In a matter of seconds his lips formed into a lazy smile of their own and he pulled me closer, my head on the side of his chest and his hand around my back.

“I love you too”

I smiled into his crumpled shirt. Wishing such spells of simple joy would appear in the future bits of our life together. However small, however insignificant, such periods proving that no matter how rough life would lead to be, someone’s love is all you need to get through.

So we just laid there. Nestled together in the warmth of love. Listening to the dull pitter patter of raindrops, soothing us to blissful sleep. 

 

 

Author's Note

So once again the rainy weather has managed to bring out my romantic side, which i must admit, mostly I am not. Please tell me what you think =]
Any form of suggestions and comments are welcomed =]

Reviews

[Britt Foster]

This is so sweet. It made me smile. :)

The scene in its entirety is very soothing and pretty to imagine...two lovers cuddling together on a rainy morning. Adding rain into scenes like this always adds a sense of warmth to the characters under the blankets. It's a very...innocent, loving piece. Lots of emotion. I almost feel like I'm the main character and I'm lying right there beneath that quilt. I love it.

The only suggestion I have for improvement would be to perhaps read over it and check for tense consistency. The majority of it is written in past tense, but there are a few places where it randomly switches to present tense.

Very nice! Keep up the excellent work! ^^

[Liverpoolfan]

blah.
For flips sake, scrolling down and looking at some comments amused me. It's "sweet", apparently. Alright, fine. I have to agree. It is sweet. And it is touching. It's brillant... but it's meh. (I'm only kidding, it's great).
But this isn't exactly what I meant when I was saying that you had "matured" as a writer. It's easy to imagine, and it's well-written. If it was anything less than the piece that it is... then I would probably be reading much less of your work in the future. As it is, you've done a wonderful job, on such a simple thing. This is really really hard to do. And with the ease, you've done it... I'm not even sure that you know how hard it is to do such a thing. Great job, keep up the excellent work.
However, I suggest that you scrutinise your work alot more carefully in the future. There are some sentences that are relatively annoying to the read.

[Inkjinx]

Ah, it's so cute! I really like this passage. It's short and sweet.
There isn't particularly a "story" feel to it because there isn't a conflict and resolution, but it's still extremely adorable. It makes me stop and smile and enjoy the evening because of how serene and cozy it is. It's one of those things that makes you crave being there.

I have to admit; there were a couple of awkward sentences in there, though. I think someone else mentioned this, but I'll reiterate so that you don't forget. :-]
"I slightly shivered" Bits like this are awkward and detract from an otherwise lovely piece. It's takes a little bit to get on track and get back into the story once you've stumbled over these sentences. Try reading your pieces aloud before you're done proofreading.

Good luck; keep up the great writing!

[Alicia™]

AWW that was so sweet. I loved it!!

[Princess]

Awww, this was just plain and simply cute :] Everyone pretty much hit all the basics, but I thought I'd put in my two cents too. I don't know what it was about the way you described things in this, but it was just the right amount and just enough everywhere to make me feel like I was living every second of it myself. Descriptions were just wonderfully wonderful :]
Well anyway, I don't know what else to say that someone else alreayd hasn't, so really, this was adorable and I loved it!
-Princess

[bluessadmood]

I found myself happily sighing. Moments like this when the entire world seemed perfect was hard to describe. Moments when you wished time would just stop and you would be stuck in that small space of oblivious happiness forever.
How sweet..it did not read this like a story,it read like poetry..you should have turned this into a poem
I really loved the way she was almost dreaming all through..in her own dreamy world
I really loved this..and enjoyed a lot
lovely write

[John McGrael]

i really like how it just draws my attention

and i love the rain :P

but this story.... or whatever u call it... has such great imagery...
i could really feel like i was that girl in the bed....
(most imagery cant really do that... especially cause im a guy :P)

but you are definitely a very naturally gifted writer..
these words just seem to flow so naturally... so flawlessly...
its great for readers :P

i really like this one!!
:P

(theres a couple grammar errors... but im sure you already knew that....
and the words: "i slightly shuffled" would sound better as, "i shuffled slightly")

[Raef C. Boylan]

You captured the intensity and security of 'moments like this'; very nicely written.

"Moments like this...was hard to describe" [was = were?]

Query:

"I love you" I whispered, touching the tip of my frozen nose to the base of his neck"
- should it be base of his throat? seems that our narrator is lying with their back to this person; maybe it's just me but base of neck always seems to mean the nape kind of area].

Sorry, I have to get back to work but good write :-)

[Nish Nish the Fish]

oh dear..OH dear...
let me ask you something...did this happen? if it did, then wow i envy you for your situation, for having such a soul to which you can connect on such a deep level.
if it didnt, then i envy your mind, for being able to come up with such intense, beautiful scenarios, with minute details that made a whole lot of difference.
this story put me in your position, and made me smile. made me want someone like that...
i love reading these kind of stories, you've done a very great job!!
thanks for sharing
-Nish