To Feel

Deep thoughts in the form of a prose-poetry

 I feel like a small snowflake, landing on the blushing fingertips of a child.

Amazed by the intricate design and the gentle touch of chill, he runs inside to show mother. But when he lifts his finger, the snowflake melts with the wink of an eye.

 

I feel like a drop of rain, as it glistens under the dim rays of the sun. Shines, as it smoothly slides down a leaf overhead, falls like a new cut diamond into the puddle below, disappearing entirely- Leaving ripples in its wake.

 

I feel like an orange Popsicle stick, given to an impatient small hand as he waves a damp dollar in the face of the ice cream man.

Carrying his prize, he nestles on the porch. Slowly devouring the relief of the summer heat. Juice dripping down his chin and elbow and he couldn’t care less.

 

I fee like a small luminous firefly, settling in the deep curls of her dark hair. As she huddles her knees, amazed by the drops of light hovering around the field.

Millions of them, as if compensating for the dark blue sky.

 

I fee like a ray of sunlight on bare skin. Awoken to what he thought must have been the heat of the sun, but what actually was his lady love burying herself in his arms, as she slept soundly against his chest. The warmth he felt were the dotted rays of the sun as they peeked through the thick canopy of trees. He smiled down and brushed a few of her golden hair, and soon was overwhelmed in deep slumber once more.

 

I feel like the grains of sand slipping carefully below her pale feet, as she walked across the shore of the blue ocean. Stepping out from the sighs of the waves, the picture forming in her heart. She picks up her chipped paintbrush and looked up at the sky- stained pink and blue, and began to paint what was left of her emotions on the white canvas before her.

 

I feel like the silence, echoing through the trees in the darkness. The song of crickets and the wind that made the leaves of the oak tree dance above me, made my breathing seem like incomparable noises, made my soul come alive.

 

Author's Note

This prose-poetry does sound incomplete to me. At some parts, i know something is missing but i cant really tell what that is. Can you?

Reviews

[Lauren Marie]

Ahh, this was so refreshing!
I think maybe it would flow better if the sentences were just a tad shorter ... or possibly more emotion, as Eagle pointed out. I'm not quite sure what's missing.
But this is a beautiful piece!
~Lauren

[Poeticpiers]

I found your train of thought engrossing You express your thoughts well in poeticprose.
To me of course I am prejudiced what is missing as in most free form is the one essential ingredient which allows your words to trip off the tongue fluidly when read aloud is meter
Reading aloud or preferably having some one else read you work aloud is the acid test If it is smmoth and easy you have it made if not back to the re editing until it does ivor aka poeticpiers

[devyn]

that was amazing , i sat in be last night thinking of a poem it just wouldn't come to mind finally i fell asleep and had the most wierdest dreams and i'm trying to find out what the meant then i wrote a poem about it i might post it on here im not sure but your the poem was so amazin' i can't belivie it

Devyn Bailey

[Eagle Cruagh]

Now I know how you feel.

Your sense of imagery is incredible, you paint
beautiful pictures. Almost all of your word
painting is of nature.

Stepping out from the sighs of the waves, the picture forming in her heart. She picks up her chipped paintbrush and looked up at the sky"
What are her emotions ? What , exactly is in her heart ? Is it a lost love, the need to find a lover,
or to celebrate her youth and beauty ? That might have completed the
story to your satisfaction.

Beautiful and very professional writing.

Rated------100 %

----- Eagle Cruagh