Flightless Bird

This is my first rhyming piece about a love life experience.

Drifting, floating through the air

Singing, chirping, with no care

 

With much practice, flight of fancy

You caught my eye, while you were dancing

 

Charming display, color galore

Traits that made me yearn for more

 

From hatchling to nestling to full-fledged we grew

Together by wing, we soared, we flew

 

Chatter, cheep, chirp, coo

Euphoric, whistling each song with you

 

Then one day a wild wind came

There was thunder, lighting and heavy rain

When it died down something wasn’t the same

I’ll never quite fathom what happened that day

 

 

Aware I was not when a hen paraded by

You divulged in her beauty with an audible sigh

A familiar dance with that look in your eye

In that very moment I felt my soul die

 

 

Together you pranced, and tweeted and hopped

But before you left, you clipped my wings off

From the ground looking up, flightless bird I became

My feathers still rouse at the sound of your name

Reviews

[Luna Zerimar]

WOW.
I love this!! It pulled me in, wanting the poem to never end. For me, that's hard to do. I always kind of get distracted when reading something, or if it really doesn't speaking to my soul, I stop reading halfway through. But this. This had me even re-reading. I read this about three times. Your rhythm is amazing. Rhyme is nothing to you. You've mastered that. Obviously. I recently broke up with someone, so this speaks to me on another level, in many ways. Thanks for sharing. Can't wait to read more of your stuff. (: - Jess

[KCthelastboyscout]

Familiar and heartbreaking.the one you love loves another.an uneasy situation you describe thoroughly and painfully.well structured and well written

[Savanna Robbins]

I really like the flow of this piece. its unique and definitely one of a kind.

[Kelsey]

Wow, thank you so much for the review! I appreciate it.

[Jas]

Very good word choice in my opinion, breathtaking really

[Kelsey]

Thank you so much!

[Jas]

Of course!

[E.A. Spain]

I like this. I like the easy going rhyme and the word choice is very fitting throughout I think.

[Madeleine Celeste]

The flow is a bit choppy, but the bluntness in description certainly makes up for the flow. This is very neat and to-the-point. You did a lovely job.

[Teresa]

You did very good : ) !! Keep it up.