The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz with horror twist.

Dorothy comes out of the house after the tornado. The Good Witch of the North comes and informs her she has killed the Wicked Witch of the East and has released a spell. She puts the ruby slippers on her to protect her from the spell. The Good Witch of the North tells what she has to do to reverse the spell.

 

"My dear, you just release a spell and only you can save us. To save us you must go to the Wizard of Oz in Emerald City. Ask to return the spell and save us all," said Glinda.

 

As just as she finishes talking The wicked witch of the West appears. She wants to take the ruby slippera off Dorothy so the spell can affect her too. Glinda says her magic in Munchkinland is no good. The Wicked witch of the west swears revenge on everyone.

 

"You all have made me suffer. All of you will pay. I promise I stop Dorothy" she says.

 

The wicked Witch of the West flys off to her castle. Glinda tells Dorothy just to follow the  yellow brick road. Dorothy worried she won't be able to save them asks what will happen if she doesn't revserse the spell.

 

"What will happen if I don't reverse the spell?" asks Dorothy.

"The Wicked B***h, I mean Witch of the East spell is release once she dies. She hated good person and wants to kill us all. The spell is cause every bad person to become a zombie and kill us all. Zombies here are very rare and they are very strong and fast. You must hurry as we only have two hours. Here is a alarm and when it goes off, the wizard by then must have already reverse the spell. Our lives are in your hands. Now good on and save us," Glinda replied.

 

Dorothy and Toto continue to follow the yellow brick road. They meet up with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the lion. All of them join in her journey to Emerald City. Soon the flying monkey capture Dorothy and Toto and fly her to the castle. They lock her up. Toto is able to escape and bring back Scarecrow, The tin man, and The lion. They free her and are running out, but then the Wicked Witch of the West and her soldier teleport in front of them blocking the exit.

 

"Aha. You thought you could escape. Well, you were wrong. No one escapes me. I now have the potion to kill you and get your ruby shoes," she says.

 

She is about to throw the potion when the alarm goes off.

 

"Oh no. I am too late!" yells Dorothy.

 

"Now you die like everyone else," the Wicked Witch of the West says.

 

Scarecrow suggest that they kill the witch and maybe the spell won't work. The Witch throw the potion at Dorothy but Dorothy ducks and the potion hit the floor having no effect. Dorothy grabs a broom and hit the witch in the face making her fall to the ground. Dorothy breaks the broom in half and stabs the witch in the heart splattering blood on Dorothy face.

 

So far no one has turned into zombie.

 

"Maybe the spell was reserved," suggested the Scarecrow.

 

The witch's soldiers were about to thank Dorothy and her friend when they started feeling alot of pain. They soon were throwing up green slime and there faces were now zombie like. 

 

The zombie soldiers roar at them. Dorothy and her friend run and go inside a room. They close the door and the lions stays behind to hold the door close.

 

"Lion! Come with us!" yell The tin man.

"No, I'll hold them off," said Lion, "GO!!"

 

They continue to run and leave the lion behind. The zombies get to the door. One of the zombies push against the door and break it sending it to the wall smashing the lion splattering blood all over the wall. Some of the zombies stop to eat the guts of the lion. Toto, Dorothy, Scarecrow, and Tin man continue to run. They find a exit and run out of the castle. They zombies run after them. Two of the six zombie jump really high and jumped over Dorothy and her friends. they stop. Dorothy and Toto run to the left and Tin man and Scarecrow run to the right. Half of the zombie go after Dorothy and other half go after Tin man and Scarecrow.

 

The zombies running after Tinman and Scarecrow start running faster and faster. Soon they are right behind them. One of the zombie jumps on Tin Man. Scarecrow looks back and then continues running with the two other zombies running after him. The zombie on Tin man punch right through the body of Tin man and oil and gas starts comming out. The zombie spits red slime on him and Tin man starts melting. There is one spark and ignites with the gas and cause a hugh explosion.

 

The scarecrow trips before the explosion happens. One of the zombies spit green slime at him. Soon Scarecrow is feeling pain. He starts throwing up. Soon he is a zombie also.

The force of the explosion cause them to fly back about 15 miles.

 

Dorothy is running. She looks back and can't find Toto. She sees the Zombies and continues running. The explosion happen and the force knock Dorothy and the three zombies to the ground. Dorothy get up and then starts hearing a creeking sound. She looks around and see that the explosion has made huge cut at the bottom of the trees and know the trees were about to be following. Dorothy then hearing growling behind her. A zombie is behind her. The zombie grabs her by the neck and lifts her, choking her. A tree loses balance and falls on the zombie. The zombie's arm that was choking Dorothy is torn off, but still has a strong grip on Dorothy neck. Dorothy tries to pull the arm off, but isn't able to. Dorothy is losing all of her air. Dorothy grabs a stick and stabs it in the arm and the arm lets go. Dorothy gasps of air. She looks at the arm and sees that it is regenerating the body. Dorothy is about to go running when the two zombies are right there. One of the zombies pushes her and sends her flying far away. She land on a soft spot and gets up on unharmed. The hand has regenerated a new whole body. The three zombies run after her. Dorothy starts running away. Many trees are know falling. The zombies keep jumping over the falling trees.  Dorothy arrives at the Emerland

 

Back at Munchkinland everyone came out of their house when they hear the explosion. Suddenly they all hear laughing up in the sky. They look up and see zombie witch flying in their brooms. One of the witches uses her wand and make a house explode. The people panic and start running. The witches fly to the ground and start eating people. Glida come to see what is happening. She sees the zombie witches. A witch sees her and runs after her. Glinda then disappears. All the witches get on their broom and start flying toward the people still alive. The start spitting green slime to turn them into zombie.

 

Dorothy runs to the wizard's house. The door is locked. One zombie is behind her. Dorothy looks back and sees the zombie jumping at her. Dorothy dodges the jump and the zombie goes throught the door making a hole. Dorothy then goes inside. She sees the wizard. She running at her. She stops when she sees the zombie jumping on the wizard and eating him. Glinda appears.

 

"Oh, you are here," says Dorothy.

"You failed! IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! AHHH!" yells Glinda as the zombie throw green slime on her. Soon she is turning into a zomber but before she tells Dorothy how to get back home.

 

"Dorothy, click you heels three time, aahhh, and say there is no place like, aaaahhhh, home. Save aaahhhhh! yourself", Glinda is now a zombie. Dorothy does what she said and on the last time she clicks her heels, Glinda and the other zombie grabs her.

 

Dorothy wakes up in her bed with Toto on the floor.

"Yes, I am home. What a terrible nightmare," sais Dorothy, "Thank god it's over"

Dorothy soonn hear screaming outside. She look out through the window. She sees zombie Glinda and the other Zombie.

"Oh no. I must have brought them into the real world", says Dorothy.

One of the zombie jumps in through the window.

 

THE END. Please tell me what you think.

Would you guys like a second part?

 

 

Author's Note

The picture was the only thing I could fine close to zombie in uniforms. Please ignore the signs in their arms.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

First par.
Poor opening. Who will want to read what you think based
on an old 'Disney movie. You probably have a good idea, but
I would like to see something hard hitting, impressive, something
earthy to get your teeth into.
Try to spell correctly in 'author`s Note. The word is find, not fine.

Here is what I think.
You have an excellent imagination, don`t waste it on an old movie,
create something new.
You have written a story based on an old movie. You must edit your
story before you post it for others to edit.
Perhaps the typo`s and spelling errors are part of the story. They may
make it more comfortable for kids. It is your story and you are a good
writer.
I don`t care for this type of plot, but that is beside the point. The point
is; you have written something that you want people to read, so you must
shock them, wake them up, convert them in the first few paragraphs.

You get 100 % for effort.
I suggest you read a lot of the other writers. When you find something
that impresses you, ask yourself why you liked it, what captured your
interest.
For a story that will capture your imagination, I suggest you go to
a story by Tigra, Island of Reckoning.

You worked hard on this story. Read to find what you should be
doing. Forget about the little typos for the time being, create a
plot with a lot of punch.

Thanks

----- Eagle Cruagh

[X]

lol nice twist, umm but it is a bit of a drag to read ^~^, look, when you want to alter something origional ( i do sometimes when drawing) u want to make etextremely twisted to the point where the reader thinks He/She is reading a totally different story (like if the story didnt have a title they wouldnt have a clue as to what they were reading) also, add more detail, yeah... yeah like the other posters said, u have a good imagination, this story is creative. Write the second part but like.... twist it as best as you can, every now and then dont forget to add some parts of the original story or movie. good luck :p

[Allison]

It's kool, it's like the twisted story of the Wizard of Oz. Ummm, I would put in more detail, and maybe make the sentences not as choppy.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is the best story I read in long time. Could be amazing movie. Is there still copyright law on this story? I like the complete story. Photo strengthen the words. I would like more story. A adult version of a old tale was amazing. Thank you.
Coyote

[James Watts]

"GO!!"(avoid this. One exclamation will work.)

I agree with Dutch and Eagle, a little more originality is needed in your opening in order to hook the reader. The dialogue is a little stiff and I would consider revising.

Not a bad story and with some polish it will not be bad at all.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Great job well done keep on writing

[Anthony]

I'd have to agree with the other writers here. You have an excellent imagination, but you need to slow down so that you can fully express your ideas, and not rush through and lose your place. Doing so creates a feeling of the author trying to hard to get the ideas out, and the piece suffers for it. Just let the ideas flow, and don't push them out so hard. It'll only end up messing up your original idea.

--- Anthony

[Huggy Bear]

I really like the re-imaging of The Wizard of Oz. Keep up the great work:)

[Wolfe Greytome]

First of all, let me say that this is an interesting twist on an old story. You have a wonderful imagination that will serve you well when writing.

Now for the unpleasant part:

This piece has numerous issues grammatically. Your sentence and paragraph structure makes for a very difficult read. Short and choppy lends itself very well to creating a rushed dramatic sense when used sparingly - don't rely on that technique to carry the same sense of urgency through an entire story.

Some of the actions you have your characters doing simply do not fit them. When using an established story as the basis for something new, you have to take into account the established personalities of the original characters - such as the fact that the Lion was cowardly and would never have tried to stand off a zombie horde. Then there are the zombies themselves - zombies are only after flesh, they would have no interest in chasing down the Scarecrow or the Tin Man because they have no flesh. But if one of them happened to be carrying Toto, that would give the zombies a reason to chase them after they get separated from Dorothy.

Your story also has no real depth. Until the very end you take your characters almost step by step through the Disney variation of this story. Read the original Oz books to give yourself some other ideas of the things that happen in that world that many people might not already know about.

Overall, I have to say that while you need to brush up the technical aspect quite a bit, this piece is a very solid jumping off point for an excellent story and could conceivably have not just a second, but many additions to it in the future.

[larryb]

Can you send me whatever your smoking dear :)

[Dutch Jr.]

Yeah, for starters, there wasn't anything in the opening to grab my attention. It was basically a block of text from the story I've already seen before. Don't tell us the story over, I suggest you open with the part you changed of the story, like a zombie chase or something. Overall, it was quite an interesting read, as far as your imagination was concerned. This could use some polishing, though.